How did you pick your Bridesmaids?

I would stick to the three. It sounds as if they are your 'want to have' bridesmaids and the other two are ones you feel you 'ought' to have.

If you feel bad about not including the other two, I would suggest you get them to do something else. Perhaps one of them could do a reading and the other could be one of the witnesses?

As for your Australian friend feeling she 'deserves an honour' - true friends will be offering what support they can at your wedding without thinking what's in it for them. If that's her attitude, then she doesn't sound like that good a friend anyway. But if she is keen to get involved with the wedding prep, then you can always include a special thank you to her in one of the speeches.

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I agree with this - I think three is a nice number and you have some really strong gut instincts there. Witnessing is definitely an honour, or offer them the opportunity to do a speech (this is what we're going to suggest to FSIL who's not making the bridesmaid cut). I definitely wouldn't go for someone unreliable in your bride tribe as that will just stress you out and you don't need that! Being invited to the hen do is a huge deal as well I think, regardless of whether you are a bridesmaid

I totally agree with the above, have the three and the other 2 can be witness or do reading. It feels like you are doing it more to please them, which you don't need to, they are your friends and am sure wont expect to have a role, they just want to be there for you and share your big day.

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Omg I totally wrote that wrong. I think she deserves a role rather than she thinks she does

😂🤦🏻‍♀️ - Yeah I just want to honour her effort somewhere. I have family saying they "might" be able to make it but this friend has said without hesitating that she'll be there for all of it. I want to celebrate her a bit for that (and everything she does). But yes you are right - there are other ways to do that outside of being a bridesmaid. Thanks x

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Ah, ok, that makes more sense - I totally get that. I didn't have bridesmaids, but I did want to honour my best friends, so picked one as a witness and asked the other, who is a talented musician, if she would like to play something at our wedding. I'd asked the other two to do readings, but they weren't able to come due to Covid (they live abroad now), which kind of worked out well (although I was gutted they couldn't be there) because we werent allowed to have readings either due to Covid!!! So 4 roles and 4 girls dropped to 2 roles and 2 girls - result!

I would ask the Australian friend to be a witness, since I think that is an even more important role than bridesmaid in some ways. And include both her and the other friend in your thank you speeches (and also give them a small gift if you are giving thank you gifts to your bridesmaids etc publicly)

Honestly I was pretty cut throat in choosing mine. I guess it depends on your interpretation of the role. From my perspective, it's a lot more than wearing a pretty dress to announce to the world that we are close, particularly when I'm paying for their dress, hair and makeup. I chose two, based on how useful I thought they would be and what they would bring to the day. One because she is super organised and loves getting into the detail of things so will spot and fix things on the day without a fuss (or even my knowing!), the other because she is an amazing hostess so will make my guests feel welcome and make sure that I stop stressing and don't forget to have fun on the day.

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Ooh I love your approach! Takes all the emotion out of it. It IS a responsibility so I want to hand that to the right people! Thank you for your reply