How many is too many for the top table?

I have had the exact same issue, I've got nine people on my head table and I've had to make the difficult decision to have my H2B best mans girlfriend with my family. But as the same as you they are so friendly and can talk to anyone. I had to make that decision though because we couldn't get enough room on the table to include her.

i don't think it's silly having it. At the end of the day it's your wedding and you should be allowed to do whatever you want.

Hi I've had my ex be best man and I've sat with people I don't know. They were friendly and made a point of including me in conversation etc. My previous worries were unfounded about this.You could ntroduce her and best man to a couple who will be sat with her before the wedding (it's not the meal after all) or have just parents etc n top table and the others n tables close by? Couple of solution ideas.

I don't think you can have too many as long as the venue can put that many people on a table.

We're having 8, but just wanted parent & partners on the top table. The best man will be sat with our friends and his girlfriend. If i was having the best man at the top table I'd put the girlfriend with him. Our best man will just walk over to the top table to give his speech.

Ultimately it's down to you what to do. The meal is two-ish hours of the whole day and she's an adult capable of making small talk about the day for this time if she has to.

We face a similar problem with both of us only having one parent and H2B mother not speaking any English and best man's wife being incredibly shy - so we opted for a top table that's just the two of us and everyone else is on the other tables. So my new MiL will be able to sit with some German relatives, my father will be able to sit with his wife and some family friends and the best man can sit with his wife and some other friends and family. Plus it gives me and new hubby some space to have a few quiet moments. We will also have some empty chairs at each table so we can visit each table during the wedding breakfast. Plus we are also arranging some "getting to know you" events before the wedding to help break down those awkward first meetings.

Thank you so much everyone for the advice. My H2B really wants the best man on the top table and his mum and both of my parents have passed away so it's incredibly important to me to have my brother on the top table. There is only so many because we have our 2 children who will be sitting with us, my brothers partner is my bridesmaid and they have 2 children together and I really want them 3 on the top table as well and as said above my partner really wants his best man and mum on there and neither of us are willing to change who/what we want. I've been in touch with my wedding co-ordinator and she said no more than 12 really or the table gets too long so with best mans partner that will be 11 of us so we're just within the limit. We're thinking now we will put her on the top table so she's more comfortable and she might be a good emotional crutch/support system for the best man for when he has to do his speech. It's good to hear other people would also put her on there as I was worried what guests would think about having someone on there who isn't part of the bridal party.

If your venue can accommodate 11 and both you and your partner are happy for her to be there, then I think it's a great idea to have her on the top table- as you say, she will be more comfortable if she's near her OH and people she knows, and the Best Man may well need her there too!

Try not to worry about what other people think- its YOUR wedding at the end of the day, and therefore, within reason, you and your partner should do just what you like! I doubt anyone will think it's odd or make any comment to be honest- unless there is anyone who thinks they should be on the top table but isn't!

We have the opposite issue but also similar- no father of the bride, no mother or father of the groom, only one bridesmaid and no best man.. so strictly speaking it should be me, OH, Mum and Bridesmaid on the top table.... but I'm chucking my brother (who has no role at the wedding other than 'guest') on the top table too- so we will have a very small top table, but that is what suits us!

Thank you everyone! ? We're both happy to put her on the top table as we both feel it's the best solution/the right thing for us to do even if no one else agrees! I'm happy to see others on here would do the same in the same situation and not find it strange.

Thank you for the advice on doing what we want for the big day! It's really appreciated as I've found myself often wondering about how the guests will feel about certain things when in reality as long as it's what me and my other half want then we will enjoy our day! After all we shouldn't be having a day that is just going to please everyone else but ourselves. I think I'm so paranoid as future MIL has said a few things along the lines of 'well I think this' and 'that's not the way it's done' etc etc ?