How many speeches should there be at a wedding

Traditionally and in this order father of the bride then groom then best man.

Other than that -anything you want or none at all.

As for wanting a woman to give a speech errrr -- that could be you then !. I have seen a few brides speeches but they usually go along the lines of more of a thank you everyone rather than a "speech"

View quoted message Errr... i would want someone else to give a speech not myself . Haha but thanks noted about the groom , i didnt know that and dont plan on groom speaker either. We would like to hear what other people have to say not ourselves .

If you are going father and best man then people may question why no groom. But I have seen plenty where the groom did not do a speech but it has always been because he really felt uncomfortable about doing one, and in those cases either he is skipped or they do a combined bride and groom speech.

I have also seen where they opened up the floor as it were and it went on for ages, which sort of made the caterers a little nervous.

There are no rules.

If the mother of the bride and father of the bride both want to speak, could they do a joint one? Obviously if they’re together, might be a bit awkward if not (although that being said, my parents divorced before my dad died and they’d have happily still worked together on something like that!

For mine, as my dad is no longer with us and my groom has decided not to have a best man, we’ve decided to just do the speeches ourselves.

If you do decide to have lots of people giving speeches, I’d recommend spreading them out between courses and giving each person a strict time limit. You don’t want people having to wait for ages for speeches to finish before they can eat, or at the end when they probably want to go to the bar. If they’re between courses then it gives people something to focus on and can serve as a form of entertainment while they’re waiting for the next course to be served.

Your wedding, your rules, but I'd keep the speeches to a minimum if you don't want people to get extremely bored. To be honest, I've been to very few weddings where the speeches were really worth listening to.

If you have a lot of people wanting to give speeches, you really need to keep a tight control on the timing - I would suggest making everyone write down what they will say and giving them a strict time limit.

An alternative if all the parents want to get involved, might be to get the bride's parents doing the speech together - so they stand up together and each one does a paragraph in turn. And the same for the groom.

View quoted message Thanks for your comment and understanding the context of my question. I am not bothered about what is traditional but like you said the worry of people getting bored. The parent together speach is a great idea . The timing is also something i didnt think about but difficult to approach the subject without coming across controlling.

I don't think all speeches should be about how wonderful the couple are but also thank all the guests for coming and the bridal party for their involvement. I would normally expect that within the groom's speech but if neither of you want to do a speech then you may want to make sure your parents include it in theirs.

View quoted message Yes good point but the father of the bride would be giving thanks

It's a good idea to only deliver two or three speeches at a time, at most. The fathers should come first, then the bride and groom, then the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Your visitors will enjoy two or three sets of talks considerably more, and their attention will be kept .

You can definitely have more than the traditional 3, just be prepared to maybe split them apart. We’ve been to weddings (both Uk and abroad) and there’s been anything from 1 to 8. The one with the most in, they had a 4 course dinner, and their speeches were spread out. We love hearing people’s speeches and their memories and stories of the happy couple. Yes some people are more charismatic than others, so keep the guests engaged more, but that’s the same for all walks of life. I’d just ensure you think about the order/placement of the speeches, and maybe have a time limit, but aside from that just soak up your speakers stories and enjoy the moment, hopefully others will too.


We have (not decided on order yet) best man, maid of honour, parents of the bride and a groom/bride speech for ours. Full mix of men/women and I don’t see why not at a modern wedding. Men aren’t the only ones with vocal boxes 😂 xx

View quoted message Thank you lisa

Traditionally, it's Father of the Bride (thanks people for coming, welcomes Groom into family); Groom (kind of treated as a response to FoB in a way, thanking Bride's family, also says something nice about Bride); Best Man (the funny speech).

I've seen it become super common to have FoB, Groom, MoH, Best Man - whereby MoH is similar ish to Best Man's speech but geared to the Bride. I think this is becoming more normal because of the female presence in speeches being wanted nowadays. Usually all 4 speeches are slightly shorter, so that the overall speeches time is still only about 15mins to keep people engaged rather than bored!

My MoH is actually a guy haha, so even though we're having 4 speeches, they'll all be men still.

My mum ummed and erred about doing a combined speech with my dad, but didn't want the spotlight on her. She's actually decided to do a speech at a meal we're having with the immediate family as part of the wider wedding celebrations, so it's a smaller audience but lovely for her to get to do this.

I also debated doing a speech, but felt 5 speeches would be A LOT for guests to sit through. I've actually decided to write a short "letter from the bride" in our programme in leiu of a speech, so that could be a possibility for you or an important woman in your life?

We’re not having any speeches at our wedding as it isn’t really our thing. We will just having a toast where we thank our guests for coming.

We are giving parents the option to speak, as well as all the best people (mix of genders), and both bride and groom. Keeping a strict time limit and maybe splitting up into two lots. There are lots of different articles on wedding websites about how to do the order, but I really think it is about what works best for you/