How much input should you have into each other's outfits?

I think it depends on what type of suits you are having and how many people you want to be in the same suits.

If you are going with the traditional tails for e.g. then I doubt you'd ever wear them again so why bother with the expense? If you are going for a normal suit (short jacket) then it might be better to buy as you would get your wear out of it again. However, if you have a large wedding party who you want to look the same, then hiring is the easiest way as everyone will match and dont have to pay for an expensive suit they might not wear again.

I hope that makes sense!

I've seen this sort of discussion from time to time where the bride feels it's her place to decide what all the men in the party wear.

Personally I see it as a bit of an insult.

We aren't supposed to have a say in how they look so why should they have a say in how we look? It's both of you getting married, not just her, and although to a degree I can see her point of a "normal" suit not being special, perhaps by simply adding a waistcoat/cummerbund (particularly if it's in the bridesmaids colours) and matching tie then it does stand out from being "the same suit you wear to work".

As for her explaining it as she is right but cannot actually provide evidence... that's a taster of married life to come ?

Im with you on this one, altho im 'thrift' so that swings it a bit for me. I can totally understand she wants to buy a dress, why cant you, espesh if you will get ur moneys worth and wear again. I have trouble justifying hundres for a dress for a few hours ?

And again, i think its nice u want to surprise her, as she does you. I think shes worrying that you will pick something totally out of co-ordination with the wedding but she could give u a fabric sample to take with you so u match? Ask her to trust ur judgement, and remond her its ur weddng too.

We decided we were having a fairly formal feel to our wedding... okay it's a register office, but a very beautiful Art Deco building and the most gorgeous room inside seating 100. Plus our reception is in a cathedral. Our invitations are all addressed formally. So it would have been utterly out of place for him to wear anything but tails and therefore he had to rent a suit. End of.

As MrsB2B has rightly said though, if you are expecting your groomsmen to wear the same suit as you then perhaps it would be best to go down the hiring route so you are all matched and less expense for your groomsmen to pay out too. Are you planning on wearing a dress coat/waistcoat/ruche or cravat then all that can add up when purchasing them. I can understand your reasoning behind that you would wear a normal suit again for work etc but do you really want to wear the same cut of suit for your wedding that you wear on a day to day basis anyway? Surely you would want to look "special" too?

Thanks, definitely something new to the discussion instead of I AM right so just trust me, please Matt?

I hadn't even thought of matching with everyone else! I've asked my brothers to be my best men and I probably won't see them again until a few days before the wedding because they live in Canada so they're not going to match what i'm wearing either way. If you add in co-ordinating with them, this whole thing becomes so much more complicated. I just assumed I would wear a normal suit, I don't even know what other type of suit i'm expected to wear. I don't remember seeing anything special at the weddings i've been to in recent years...

[Quote] As for her explaining it as she is right but cannot actually provide evidence... that's a taster of married life to come [/Quote]

And don't I know it. Luckily we've got a pretty good dispute resolution system going most of the time or we'd never speak to each other!

I know this may seem strange to some but, without him knowing, my H2B has had some input into what I wear on the day.

When we got engaged and I bought my first wedding magazine, I was showing him different styles and he was telling me what he thought of them. He also mentioned that he prefers white/ivory dresses to coloured ones.

When I went dress shopping I remembered what he said and when I was picking what dresses I wanted to try on I stayed away from the styles I knew he hated. I know people will say 'he will think you look gorgeous whatever you wear' but why would I wear something that I know he would hate? Luckily, I wasn't a fan of the styles either...

When it comes to his suits, which he has decided to hire, he is taking his BM, Usher/brother and my son to choose. He did mention having a top hat and tails, but when I said they wouldn't suit the venue he could see my point and changed his mind. He's already said that the waistcoat and cravats will match the wedding colours and he just needs to decide which way round he is wearing his as the rest of the men will wear theirs the opposite way.

I think it should be your choice what you wear to the day after all it is your wedding as well, I can see why hiring might be logisitcally better but if you do not mind if your groomsmen match then it doesnt matter. For our wedding H2B has no idea what I am wearing and i wont tell him as I want it to be a surprise, we decided (well not even really decide it just was assumed and agreed all round) that H would pck his suit and it would be what ever he wants, only person he wants to match him is the BM and he has told him where he got it so he can go and buy a matching one we never discussed hiring a suit but traditional wedding suits are really not his style so I would have been shocked if that is what he would have wanted. I have seen his suit as I went with him to choose it but this was at his request as opposed to my insistance, if he had wanted to go with someone else and keep it a surprise I would have been fine with that as long as I knew colours so i could make sure all colour theme fitted well

It's your suit - you should choose!

FWIW - I personally don't like the whole matching hired suits, and Mr GB refused point blank to get married in a rental. He's said for years he wanted to get a Paul Smith suit - and that's what he did.

He always said I couldn't be there when he chose it as he wouldn't be with me (not that he wanted to). But when the time he came he realised that i'm the one who always buys his clothes so he wanted me there. We arranged a weekend in London to go shopping specially for his suit. I had an idea of the type of tie he would get but he compleltely shocked me with what he pciked. With the help of the sales assistant, he picked a creamy/white tie with tiny blue flowers on as he wanted to look "groomy".

We asked all the men in the bridal party to wear a dark coloured suite (we firegured most people have a navy, black or charcoal coloured suit) and we bought them a tie in the colour scheme. It looked fab and they definitely looked the part! ?

You can't actually tell but none of the men are wearing the same coloured suit...

We have gone down the hired suit line for our groomsmen because we wanted them to look the same, and my OH is getting married in uniform. That said if my dad has insisted "I want to wear my own" (albeit hideous brown suit) that would probably have been OK too, we didn't insist, but we did offer.

Becuase OH wasn't wearing the hired suits we chose them together, although he had the final say. I was swaying towards the charcoal suits more, but he wanted navy so we have navy.

We have gone for these, which are long Prince Edward jackets, in navy with ivory waistcoats, neither the suit or waistcoar will be worn again by anyone in the wedding party and so have been hired, shirts, we are still consdiering buying:

To add to the dress thing, If I could have hired my dress instead of buying it, as in the one I am having, then I would 100% have done so, as it was, my dress wasn't on an option to hire, so I have had to buy.

My H2B is buying his suit as it will be a "wear to work afterwards" sort of thing. He's intending to get it this weekend and I asked him if he wanted me to be there (thinking along the liones of "his wedding too, he may want to surprise me") but he is insistent I accompany him. Totally his choice.

Hhhm, well I am a pretty laid back person when it comes to our wedding (within reason).

My h2b is a very stylish and dapper man and, like me, loves vintage. He will be getting himself a lovely vintage suit for the wedding, which will be tailored to fit like a glove. He will save it for the wedding day then wear it again afterwards. Yes he has other suits, but I want him to wear whatever he wants. BUT I know it will be something very nice. He will arrange his own suit and his best man and ushers will just wear whatever suit they want (probably something they already have).

My sister in law got married recently and had a full on do, very expensive etc tec. Her groom wore a tailor made saville row suit, not something hired. They paid a lot for it, but he thought it OK as he can wear it again.

The suits men wear to weddings can be formal "morning suit" with top hat and tails. Now this is totally not my cup of tea and I would insist he didn't get that! Perhaps your b2b wants you wear formal morning suit, if so, you would not wear it again. Perhaps she wants you and the ushers/best man to wear matching and doesn't think it fair to ask them to pay.

I would just explain how you feel... it's important to communicate properly at this stage if not now, when?!? If she doesn't trust your taste, maybe you could choose a couple and ask her opinion on them.

I really think you should wear a bought suit if that's what you want.

I suggested that he wears a silver tie and the best man, ushers, dad etc wear hunter green ties to match the bridesmaids. We had a chat about whether they'd have cravats, rouches or regular ties. That was pretty much all my input but I've known since about forever that OH would be getting married in his kilt. For his sister's wedding in August last year he bought a new Argyle jacket and waistcoat which he'll be wearing at our wedding. He's bought the others their shirts but the rest of the outfit is being hired as they are also in kilts.

I'd say if you want to buy a suit then you should go for it. Maybe it's a cultural difference if you're from Canada and your bride is British? I think the norm here is suit hire for the wedding party. Personally, I'm not fussed about everyone matching. I'd just ask for them to all wear a similar colour e.g. a dark suit (black, grey, navy).

Also for me, my OH hasn't had opinions on lots of things. So those things which he does have an opinion on (cake, favours, table plan) we tend to go for his choice.

Well I kind of said whilst we were working out the budget, we decided that we did not want matching groom and best man (his dad will be in his deacon getup and my dad in a kilt) He got a very nice light grey burberry suit for christmas last year from his dad, so he has kept it for best and will be wearing that....

What type of wedding do you both envisage and is it the same wedding?

That's a tough one that i'm not really sure how to answer. I think i'm going to have to sit down with her and try and find any more assumptions that she might have made about what's happening on our wedding day and see if we can sort them out. I really don't think she was prepared for me to be so proactive in planning this thing, although I don't know why because I have an opinion on most things and i'm not afraid to voice it. I think we do communicate quite well most of the time but in this instance she didn't seem able to articulate why she felt so strongly about the issue so i'll put some of the ideas mentioned here to her and see how she responds to them.

Thanks guys!

I'm all for H2B to buy a nice new suit, quite frankly he needs one that fits him properly anyway and since we're having an informal day it'll be a lounge style which he can get lots of wear out afterwards. I did have an issue with the fact that buying a new suit for him will mean a non matching wedding party (as we can't afford to kit everyone out and navy slim fit lounge suits are few and far between to hire anyway) but the fact he's happy and feels special is more important to me. Besides, I doubt anyone will notice anyway once we've handed out the matching ties and buttonholes, it should look cohesive enough!

My worry is that he wants to go off on his own to buy a suit with the BM - fair enough, except he's not the most satorial gent around, buys clothes once in a blue moon and would live 24/7 in trackie bottoms and football shirts if he had his way! I will be keeping my fingers crossed that his more style savvy BM keeps him on the straight and narrow!

For our wedding, I assumed my H2B would hire a suit along with his groomsmen. I was really surprised when he said he wanted to buy his as he wanted to keep it afterwards and didn't fancy wearing one that had been worn umpteen times before. We remembered a formal wear company (which tailor made and hired suits) that we'd seen at a wedding fayre and tracked them down. We each chose our favourite style of suit from the catalogue (we both had the same thoughts...don't like tails, didn't want a 'work' suit (he wouldn't feel special as he wears one every day) and ended up choosing the same - a Prince Edward (longer than lounge suit, but not as long as the other one who's name escapes me!). H2B ordered a brand new 'off the peg' which was then tailored to fit him perfectly, we hired the groomsmen the same style and everyone had the same but OH got his new suit! Perfect outcome! We chose the waistcoats and shirts together (OH's choice - I was happy to leave it to him), but I didn't see him in the full ensemble until I walked down the aisle.

We looked through wedding magazines together at frocks and he told me what he did and didn't like the look of. Again, our ideas were pretty much the same but I wouldn't have worn something I knew he wouldn't like just because I loved it. He always said that I'd have looked gorgeous whatever I wore though - bless him!

Good luck, I hope you can resolve this and end up with what you dream of...it is, afterall, your wedding too.

We bought suits as it looked as though it was only gonna be an extra £30 per suit to buy the ones we wanted rather than hiring and it would prevent the trips back and forth to the hire shop which is around 30 miles away.....unfortunately we changed our minds on the suits and bought ones that worked out about £130 each more than hiring but nevermind lol As far as choice of his outfit goes, we decided together. I would never want him to wear anything he didn't like or felt uncomfortable in but we are having matching ushers etc so it had to be a choice that suited a number of people not just him. Plus he would never have got away with keeping it secret from me cos I'm a control freak lol

My OH and I are quite lucky since we seem to agree with each other's ideas so far. My OH is buying his suit; he chose the style he wants himself and just checked with me that I liked it. I will probably go suit shopping with him though since he's not very confident about clothes shopping. My OH told me when we got engaged what style of dress he imagined me wearing and, luckily, that style happened to look amazing on me.

I completely understand why you wouldn't want to wear a hired suit and I can't imagine that many women would want to wear a hired outfit to any special event, let alone their wedding - so maybe you could put it to her like that. I understand that she has a very particular idea of how she wants the day to look, but the most important thing is that you both feel comfortable.

thank you, our wedding party are not having matching suits, forthe same reason.. my MIL2B is moaning non stop about it lol xx

Haha! You're welcome! ?

I put that picture up to show that you couldn't actually tell. One had a navy blue pinstriped suit, one had black, one had charcoal and the other had a charcoal one with a pinstripe in (I think!)

I think it looked fab. Mr GB was an usher at one of our bestmen's wedding a couple of years ago and he hated the rental. Yes he looked nice but he said he felt really uncomfortable all day and just didn't like the feeling of being in a rented suit.

My Husband picked out what the Grooms Men and Himself were wearing and I was not allowed to see them until the day. This didn't bother me one bit and was a lovely surprise. Started to get a bit worried when he still hadn't got his a week before the wedding but that's a different story ?

All of them were bought too as none of them wanted rentals.

I was there with my OH when he picked out the suit he was going to wear and gave my opinion, but the best man and his partner were also there and gave theirs, and ultimately OH made the decision!

I'm with Mooey re the dress input by the way - my OH had input into my choice even though he wasn't physically there with me trying dresses on and hasn't seen my ultimate choice. He looked at lots of pictures of dresses with me and pointed out what he liked and didn't like, and I kept that in mind all the way through choosing my dress. Hopefully I've picked something he will like!

We also chose the colour scheme together - hunter green, ivory and silver - and as such he chose a dark grey tailcoat and trousers, ivory waistcoat and hunter green cravat & hankie. This will be the same for all the groomsmen.

As others have said I think it depends on what sort of wedding you are having. We are having quite a traditional wedding and the men will be in morning suits as a result. We did talk about buying, and I was quite happy for OH to buy if he wanted, but he decided against it as we would be able to afford a nicer suit if we hired, and it would make it easier to match his best man and my father as a result. Plus there aren't many occasions where you get to wear morning dress again. (We did however buy a new pair of shoes for OH - a very nice pair - in lieu of him not buying a suit. He will wear those again and will get lots of use out of them.)

However if you are having a more casual wedding and all just wearing normal suits, then I see absolutely no reason not to buy, if you can afford it - it's your treat as much as your fiancees!