How much is too much to ask people to spend for a hen weekend?

Mine is costing just under £100pp, we are going to Newmarket Races which includes entry into the premier enclosure, a meal and other bits.

Hi, I havnt read all the replys either but thought I would have my say.

With enough notice if the bride was a close friend or relative I would not mind spending £200, as how often do the girls get to go away, never in my world. My wedding is next Oct and I'm thinking of going away in this country and am going to give everyone a heads up soon.

After recently having a nightmare of a time arranging my friends hen party which is £50 with 6 months notice) plus drinks on the night I have had alot of experience of "I'm skint" but then goes to alton towers for the day. However these are the friends that are the other halfs girlfriends etc and I've realised its not the number of people that go that matters, the ones who really matter will find someway to be there.

There are a few of us getting married. But I know if they wanted to do it, I would go, saving for my wedding or not. And we all earn and payout roughly the same, and some of us have children that would get looked after by partners or parents. maybe I'm just lucky...

I may have rambled a bit its late...

I think this is what i was trying to say really

£15/£20 a month is a lot to some people...what if they had 2 hen dos to save for? Or something else to save for?

I think that picking a hen do that costs a lot is a sacrifice as far as everyone being able to attend goes, I don't think you can use that against people.

Personally I'd rather go out once a month than stay in for year to go to a hen do...no matter how good my friend was! Sorry x

You're putting too much importance on the Hen do. Not everyone likes them/can be bothered with them (I didn't even have one) regardless of how active their normal social life is. If she turns round and says she doesn't want to come to your actual wedding because she has a life/can't afford it while going out every night of the week then that's very different and you have the right to be upset and to promptly terminate your friendship...but if she doesn't want to save up £200 for a hen, which is quite a lot of money to celebrate someone else's upcoming wedding, especially when weddings are nearly always expensive too (travel, accommodation, gift, outfit, drinks) then that's her prerogative. Concentrate on the people who are happy to fork out that much and leave her to wish that she had come along when she sees the photos on facebook.

The hen doesn't need to massively expensive. I'm having two so people had a choice which they came to they wanted. BMs did organise both.

First one is Bournemouth next weekend (yay!) everyone paid £150 for 2 nights in a 4* B&B with breakfast both mornings. Buffett dinner Friday night at hotel, club entry, Saturday cocktail making lesson (and cocktails), sat night cabaret show with dinner, drinks, strippers (!) and drag act, then free club entry. I think all the need spending money for is lunch sat and drinks (but we will be taking drink to hotel to get tipsy while getting ready) so they can spend as much or as little as poss. We have arrange car share up there and back so everyone puts in a £10 for transport.

Next one is a couple of weeks after Bournemouth. £39 at a manor house, 3 course meal, all drinks included, drag act, butlers in the buff and disco

I have 17 people coming to Bournemouth and 40 people coming to manor house meal. Some are coming to both!

Maybe have a rethink on your plans and see if you can get it a bit cheaper anywhere, then if it's a reasonable amount she may come! (again its what she would consider reasonable) see what you all spend on a birthday weekend away and try to work to that budget rather than £200 odd. Because they will have spending money on top of that depending on activities included in price.

Xxxx

I know I could ask my friends to do this and they wouldnt be put out in any way, we are all close enough to know we always mean well and under no circumstances would one person not being able to afford it effect the event, we'd find away to help them afford it.

I don't know if I have a different type of circle of friends to others but I wouldnt feel uncomfortable telling them to start saving for the hen do as I have with them and for their other special occasions. I wouldn't purposefully pick something out of reach though monetary wise, after all it is just a hen do lol Im usually the one who has to be a bit more careful with money, 2 kids and a house set boundaries where spending is concerned, but id save as hard as i could if it meant a fantastic experience with my friends.

£15/20 a month saving sounds reasonable to me, working out around £200. Mine is working out around £140 for a spa day with treatment, champagne, dinner and champagne and night out on the town with VIP tickets and champagne! and ill be paying for our minicab to and from birmingham.

Hello All,

This is an interesting discussion so i'll add in my experience.

I really wanted to do something memorable but not rave related - that's just not me. My sister [also bridesmaid] mentioned organising my Hen Do but it was turning into a giant rave, which I didn't want. So, I spoke with her and said can I generate the venue/activities but then you can do whatever from there on. She was fine with this - think she was glad to be relieved of the organising to a degree.

So, I got researching and decided on gorgeous huge beach house in Norfolk - not far from where we live and i put together my own package. I actually had more girls down than the house slept, but 5 of the girls offered to bring air beds if necessary! So, it came up to include: 2 night accommo at the gorgeous house, pamper party inc 2 treatments, vintage afternoon tea and a personal chef & waitress to cook us a 3 course meal. I decided that I wanted to try and give an 'all inclusive price' so that although this would seem alot the girls would be able to see the value in it. So, all the above plus petrol for those who drive us, all food and all alcohol - it came to about £189pp

I created some invitations on Vistaprint to explain everything that was included. Also, I said I was happy to receive the money however people wanted to do it. Bit by bit, big chunks at a time etc but that I needed at least £50 by August so I can deposit the activities etc to confirm the dates. This also meant we sorted out those who really want to go and those who say yes but then let you down!

Out of 18 girls, i've only had 2 say they cant/don't want to come. 1 was my mum, as she thinks she's too old and another is my future sister in law who is having a baby so isn't sure about finances at the moment. Now, instead of increasing the price further ,as i get the pamper party for free, i'm going to cover any extra costs by those who have dropped out.

Hopefully, the girls think it's a good deal and that i'm being fair. Personally, if people dropped something pricey on me at the last min i'd decline but given a chance to save etc I wouldn't mind.

Alipops x