How to break the news of not being a bridesmaid?

Whats the reason you haven't picked her to be one of your bridesmaids? If i had a sister-in-law i would have her as a BM but thats just me. In your position, i just wouldnt mention it! She will soon realise that she's not a bm when you dont ask her!

I would simply say that you'd love it if she would do you the honour of being a witness. Don't mention BMs unless she asks.

the fact her oh is a groomsman does not mean she'll be abandoned on the day. He's just got things to do that's all.

Its a couple of reasons really,

we really can't afford too many bridesmaids and if we ask her I don't think we could get away with not asking my OHs sister-in-law. and 5 bridesmaids is getting a bit mad!

She aslo has a habit of trying to be the centre of attention no matter what!

As for just ignoring the issue, its just not me. I've been with my OH for nearly 8 years and obs my FSIL and I have had our differences over the years (as women tend to!) but I've always made a point of if i have an issue to face it head on. I think to go back on that now would be mean to both of us!

Just ask her to be your witness. No mention of BM. People like this get on my wick.

Don't! Just ask her to be a witness and leave it at that. I didn't have either of my sisters as bridesmaids for several reasons, I just never mentioned it. One of them spent most of the day bitching about it but I didn't care! She was just demonstrating exactly why I didn't ask her.

I had a similar situation with my sister. I asked my sister in law 2b and my friend of 19 years to be my BMs as I knew I wanted them from the moment we got engaged and they are both really helpful and supportive. I didn't want to ask my sister because she stresses about everything and makes problems out of nothing and she hates wearing dresses and feels very self-conscious. Instead, I asked her if she would make something for the wedding so that she felt involved. She did then ask me directly if I'd chosen BMs and I told her I had and why I only chose 2 and she hasn't mentioned it again.

You have to remember that it's your day and you need people around you who will be supportive and helpful. You can't please everyone!

Dawn

Tricky situation! I think that the advice you have been given about not mentioning BMs isn't compromising with your always being honest with her. If you don't ask her then she should get the picture that she isn't a BM. However, it is really important to consider that you don't want her causing a scene on your big day. If you think she is likely to do this then def have the conversation sooner rather than later - you don't want to spoil your day.

My H2B has 3 sisters and I am not asking any of them to be BM (nor my step sister). I am having my sister and her 2 daughters. I opted against having any friends as I didn't want to choose between them and potentially either end up with 6 BMs (in addition to my sister and her two children) or causing offence to someone.

I have asked one of my closest friends to be my witness. I was her BM for her wedding nearly 2 years ago so I def wanted her involved. My best friend I have asked to do a reading - she has been BM before for another friend and hated dressing up like a doll the same as the others and has a quirky style so I knew although she would def say yes if I asked her, she wouldn't feel as comfortable on the day as she would wearing her own clothes etc. Both were thrilled and neither have even mentioned not being a BM. Nor have any of my other friends and they are all still up for helping with any DIY bits I do and want to help me look for ideas.

I don't think it is a consolation prize and I wouldn't pitch it like that to her. Maybe you could let her choose something she really likes - or ask her to suggest things for the two of you to look at. Can your H2B do this with you - it seems like it is both your decision to have her do a reading so maybe safety in numbers would be a good approach?

xx

Hope it all works out for you.

xx