How to choose between two venues when neither is quite right and you've run out time?

I'm struggling to make this choice for a number of reasons. The wedding can't really be put off any longer, we've already delayed years because of pregnancy and covid and we want another baby now but want all the legal stuff in place this time, also not getting any younger. Also as we can afford a proper wedding I really want a proper wedding. None of the venues tick all our boxes, they tick different boxes from each other, I can't find anywhere that does at short notice so I need to sacrifice some things. My favourite venue, where my fiance proposed, stopped doing weddings last year. We had picked our venue and were planning to get married in our local church next door to our local beautiful castle but we delayed due to covid and now it has closed to weddings due to financial issues. My back up plan would have been a destination outdoor wedding in scotland with bagpipes and a game food wedding breakfast at a scottish castle (we like castles) with just closest family/friends and this would actually be a lot less than we budgeted for but my mum is passive aggressively upset about this, my family and fiance's family are not at all outdoorsy, the sight of mud terrifies them as does camping, tents etc. She pointed out that my grandparents are too infirm to walk up hills and I should consider them as it is about family too and she is also concerned our preschooler might find it a bit much if the weather is bad, perhaps she is right and I am being unrealistic. She said we could have a blessing and say our vows again on a mountain on our honeymoon which could be as personal as we like it and then guided me towards a venue on my shortlist that she thinks would suit us but is also suitable for all of our guests and our child as it has on-site accomodation, she also wants me to make a decision a.s.a.p as fiance has told her as well as me that my indecision is making him really stressed and ruining his excitement about getting married! I really like that this venue she thinks ticks enough boxes is grand but has a cosy feel, if I was rich I'd happily buy it (and improve the overall experience a bit) but it is a hotel and I would prefer exclusive use for the cost. It sort of is, sort of isn't right, it is not a real castle which is what I wanted, it is 1800s although it does look convincing, it is a 4* not 5* hotel and there are tired looking areas and I just feel it is too expensive for what it is (though it is extremely popular despite this as I guess there is nothing like what it is offering for miles around and some people like a blend of old and modern). The menu is very limited and more modern than I imagined, not very medieval themed! I'm not allowed to bring in a confectionary table without being charged extra. It feels very much like a wedding factory but then this removes some of my stress I suppose. They also don't have a ceremony time available I like, it is too early or too late and this is also their last date available this year. The ceremony room is a huge chapel that is for non religious ceremonies only but it is fabulous and I can personalise that space as much as I like, I can also have an owl to fly the rings and meet and greet after which our child would love, however fiance doesn't like the idea of a civil ceremony in a hotel. Fiance has picked a different venue he likes from my list (though tbh he doesn't like any as much as the original venue or a tipi in a field which was what he always imagined he'd do for his wedding and since he can't have these I think he doesn't really care anymore) however half my family can't make the date they have available and it is really soon as in mere weeks away! He thinks this isn't an issue and I should just get it over and done with, with few guests! These are the main downers. It is a real castle but it doesn't hold ceremonies until 5pm, evening finishes at 11pm. It is open to the public before this (who will still be there when I come in and as an introvert I find this stressful) and while the menu is completley customisable and the food reliably excellent at this one they won't let me customise the decoration much due to set up time constraints. And no owls allowed although they do have peacocks in the garden (if it isn't raining) and other entertainment options that our child might enjoy although fiance thinks these a bit silly i.e our own personal knight as master of ceremonies. It matters to me that it is about our little family, not just the two of us. The room used for ceremonies is really not my taste given I can't personalise it so we would marry in our nearest church which is a 20 minute drive away then wait a while for the reception in the castle, the reception room is gorgeous (it wouldn't work for a ceremony though! It is a vast space and we'd look lost in it plus I don't want the whole wedding in one room). I worry if it rains we will have a bored and tired preschooler stuck inside a heritage building full of breakable things and also as it doesn't start until 5pm I'm worried I will not have enough time for couple photos because of my preschooler needing me to be mum (quite shy and probably will insist I do things). It potentially stressful if timings don't go to plan on such a tight itinerary as they rarely do with kids! As it is open to the public in the day there is no time for pre wedding photos unfortunately, it gets very very busy. I really love the atmosphere of the place though and always wanted to spend an evening there surrounded by candlight and I see why he likes it, it is truly old and beautiful and it is a place we have visited often and it has a beautiful bridal suite for us but our child would have to go offsite entirely with a family member which means I probably will be thinking about her not us. We could always rent the bridal room and have the place to ourselves for a couples or family break another time (without the candlelit party) but that probably won't happen so I'm saying bye bye to that idea forever. His true preference is a wedding tipi in a field but I have no idea where to do this and it is completley starting over again and I worry this also presents a problem for less able relatives who would like to be able to return to their room to rest etc also same issue with children, plus it will be autumn/winter when we marry if we aren't having a rushed date and I don't think I can handle putting a wedding together in weeks alongside work and mum duties...He is happy to go with the civil ceremony at the first venue if I am but I know he would prefer a traditional church or outdoor ceremony. He feels a civil ceremony in a hotel lacks a sense of spirituality but I am not sure I am fussed about getting married in a church, my church is the great outdoors. It is a shame that where I live there is no choice of celebrant, we are stuck with whoever the government sends that day. He says he is fine with whatever, he just wants to get married, I want to make him happy too though. All the options are ok (if they don't turn out to be a disastor on the day as I can see so many cons of all of them). The one thing we agree on isn't 'practical', which is a hillside in scotland. Leaving our child out isn't an option and I feel really sad at leaving family out too, anyway, covid travel restrictions may also stop us travelling if we'd chosen this. It's so hard, if I take my mum's advice I will never have a chance to have the others options again, even though the heritage castle is more me I can't help but feel it just isn't quite right! The hillside can't happen either and if it does it is just a blessing not a real ceremony.