How to include step daughter

Presenting her with a little something during the speeches, in front of everyone and adding a bit about welcoming her to your side of the family might be one way to do it, as well as the reading...

It might just be putting her onto the top table? Making her feel included and like she knows everyone?

Oooo I know i Know!!!

A really cute thing i saw on tv..

During the giving and receiving of rings, the step Mum asked the step daughter to come to the front.

She then said some vows to the daughter as she gave her a necklace.... along the lines of

" I give you this necklace as a sign of my love for you, I promise to give you a happy home and take you on as my own, I will always be there for you and be a friend for you as well as a mother" And then tied it around her neck.

The daughter didnt have to say anything and just hugged her!

It made me cry!

Oh my god! I'm actually sat at my desk in tears, that's so sweet!

'Oooh I know I know!' Made me giggle, lol

That's what I was going to suggest Meggles, it was on Four Weddings US, it was lovely wasn't it? My step-daughter is being one of my BM's and will sit on the top table with us. I would have liked her to do a reading during the ceremony however her reading isn't very good and I couldn't find any that would haev been suitable for her x

4 Weddings US - deffo it was really, really lovely idea

Hehe

It makes me wish i had a step-daughter!

Do you reckon I can adopt one - I really HAVE TO have that part in my ceremony!!!!

My step daughter is being our FG, she won't be sitting at the top table however (she'll be sitting with her mum and her stepdad) but she will be getting presented with her gift like the other BM's.

I like the idea of a reading but she's only 5 so i think she might get a bit nervous.

xx

Or are you thinking something symbolic, like lighting a candle for instance or letting of a sky lantern?

Hi Ladies,

How sweet trying to involve your step daughter :-)

I think the poem is lovely but personally a bit "much". First impression is that the vows are about you and H2B? Will this take away from that? Or it might compliment it nicely I suppose. Having not seen the TV it's hard to tell.....Also, as a step-daughter myself I wouldn't like the bit about being there "as a mother". Forgive my bluntness but you (or anyone who chooses to use the poem) are not her mother, might her real mother be put out by this? Perhaps I am being a little unfair/dramatic but I hate it when my step-mum tries to take the place of my mum. Also, from a mother's point of view I would be hurt to hear someone else trying to be my daughter's mother.

All that said I agree with your original sentiment about welcoming her to your side of the family. I think that is lovely. It is hard as a step-daugher integrating in to a new family so it would be great to ease that. The idea of sitting her on the top table sounds good to me :-)

Hope this helps and I haven't offended anyone! Perhaps I'm dinted by experience :-}

x

They werent the exact words she used, I was just giving an example

Mine is a bridesmaid. She is 13

Hey emmamac7

no offence taken at all!! I was thinking the same about the mother bit, but as a raging sentilmentalist i love the rest!! ?

I was adopted by my step dad at around the same age so i know the importance of keeping her involved but not over stepping the mark.

Also she is already part of my family, I have young nieces and they all get on famously.

Just wanted her to feel that little bit more special on the day and have welcomed yours and the ladies reponses.

Thank you xxx

I saw this too it was on Four Weddings US. It was really lovely and ever since seeing it I have been trying to find a way to do something similar for my fh and my son. Problem is my son will be coming upto 3 and won't understand but I think it would be something that my fh would love to do - after all it isn't just a promise to me he is making, it is a promise to our family x

Ah, i am also gaining a step-daughter who is 10 going on 19, and a step son who is 13 - what a lovely idea with acknowledging them in the service - they are fully involved in the whole wedding and are sharing the role of best man- connor is H2Bs right hand man in the church but doesn't want to do a speech, so Angel is going to do a speech (she is also bridesmaid) - her and H2B have something up their sleeve for the speech but won't tell me!!

but i love the idea of acknowledging them in the ceremony - i know it is all about getting married, but they come as part of the package and you are not just marrying H2B but making a commitment to his children too!