Humanist ceremonies still not legal

Not a humanist ceremony, but my OHs dad will be conducting ours. We want to get married outside under a big oak tree and have more options with regards to music, timings and so on- which unfortunately isn't legal here.

We're going to a registry office a couple of days before and doing the legal bit- no rings, vows, guests etc just the bare minimum legalities. It's £45 + £35 each to give notice.

As far as we're concerned, the latter ceremony will be our wedding. The registry office part is just an (inconvenient) formality. Could that be an option for you? It saves a good few hundred pounds on the cost of a registrar. If so just keep in mind that 3 of the registry offices we considered had rules about when they were prepared to conduct such a ceremony- ours will only do them on Tuesdays at 9:15am or 9:45am for example.

It doesn't matter which registry office you go to for the legal side of things, but you'll still need to give notice at your local registry office (one within the same district or borough in which you live). Everyone has to do this anyway though so it's no different to if you were paying a registrar to come out to you ?

We haven't got any big plans for the Tuesday following the ceremony, perhaps a nice lunch somewhere (or brunch at that time of the morning!) then we'll be packing our bags and heading down to Kent to prepare for the actual wedding.

It's definitely something worth looking into. Having a registrar come out to us would have cost £500ish + an extra £200 legal ceremony fee from the venue. So in all, it's saved around £650!

Thank you!

Hope you have a lovely day too ?

Just to point out, and not scare off any scottish members from a humanist ceremony, that in Scotland they are actually fully legal. We are one of the few countries in the world that fully recognise a humanist ceremony as a legal bind.

Yes, we're having a Humanist ceremony. The legal bit doesn't have to be expensive. £49 (£45 for the ceremony and £4 for the certificate) plus the usual £70 charge for giving notice (£35 each) although you will likely be a bit restricted on when you can do it. Leeds, for example, only does it on the last Monday of every month. I teach so can't get time off during the week, so we are currently drawing up a pros and cons list for October (where the last Monday falls in half term) and December (which would be the day after our Humanist ceremony but awkward time wise as fiance will be taking his daughter to London as it's her mum's turn to have her for Christmas).

Yeah I'm holding out for us to catch up with scotland...

Just to clarify Civil Partnerships are still conducted via a registry office and incur the same charges (and same requirement to give notice etc) as a Civil Ceremony for straight couples. So even if Civil Partnerships were extended to Straight couples they would not save you any money.

Actually they would because celebrants who currently conduct non-legal ceremonies could then conduct legal ones, so rather than paying for the bit at the registry office on top of your celebrant, the fee for the celebrant would include that. Alright, it's only £49, but it is still a saving.

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My response was to the original post

'I read yesterday that the Gov have decided not to extend civil partnerships to male-female couples. Aside from the equality issues here I'm, selfishly, really sad about this as I was really hoping to avoid the additional cost and organisation I'm going to have to put in to go to a registrar before our actual wedding day '

Humanist Ceremonies and Civil Partnerships are 2 completely different things.

A Civil Partnership is a legal ceremony and is almost identical to a Civil Ceremony that a straight couple would have (although a Civil partnership is a written contract rather than a verbal contract in a Civil Ceremony)

A Humanist Ceremony currently has no legal recognition in England. So yes of course if Humanist ceremonies did become legal it would save OP some money. But if Civil Partnerships were extended to heterosexual couples OP would be in the same predicament that she is in now,

Yea equality works both ways so I do feel Civil Partnerships should be open to all if that's what people want.

Agree the marriage laws in England are very dated now. I don't know why they just didn't overhaul the whole thing when they did the latest gay marriage bill.

Although it is scary to think that it was only back in around 1994 that getting hitched in a licensed wedding venue became legal. I can't imagine what it was like to only have the option of Church or a Registry Office. Although I'm sure that would make the venue search a little bit easier ?

clearly showing that the OP is having and was talking about Humanist ceremonies, the legality of which would have been reassessed under the same changes that would have created civil partnership for heterosexual couples, if that had been going ahead. It would require a complete rewrite of the marriage laws, though, and seemingly the OP has read something that suggests that's too much effort for the government, although I've not seen any such article myself.

? Ok ?

We are having a humanist ceremony. Originally wanted to get married in church, however the parish where we live don't allow divorced couples to marry in church (neither of us had been married in church before). I won't lie, after meeting the vicar & being told this I was really upset, felt terribly judged & unworthy !. We have now decided to have a humanist ceremony, seems to reflect on our sense of partnership, family, & friends. We can personalise our ceremony & I'm really looking forward to it.

Just for the record, having married once in a church over 10 years ago and getting married in a licensed venue this time, the costs for me have been pretty much the same. Not all churches are cheap. For me, the church was £500 just for the service, plus a "donation" of £50-£100 for the flowers and additional costs if we wanted bells, choir, organist etc - and even more fees if I wanted a videographer to be allowed to film the ceremony! It came to roughly £800. On the other hand, at projected 2017 prices, the licensed venue is costing us £350 for use of the ceremony room, £500-ish for the registrar to come out, £75 booking fee and £70-ish for the two of us to give notice - a total of £995. Which is probably comparable to what the church I married in before would cost if I wanted to book it now.

It's important to us to have a humanist ceremony. We are dropping in to the registry office, probably the day before, to do the bare minimum legalities. My humanist celebrant friend is hopeful the law may change near the end of 2014/ beginning of 2015. So by the time our wedding comes (April), it may be legal and we wont have to bother the hassle of the registry office stuff. Fingers crossed!

Church ceremonies are not always cheap! our ceremony is costing £620! plus reading of the banns which we have to pay to 2 churches because we are getting married in a church not in our parish.

Agree that humanist ceremonies should be legal, shouldnt matter how you want to get married as long as its what you both want

I got to admit it really bugs me to... we should have the right to marry wherever we want with out extortionate fees

The Church of England has a set fee that changes each year I believe and it's over £400. Then there are other fees on top. If you marry in a Catholic Church I believe that is free or a contribution. I think registrar fees work out similar to a church as other people have said.

You can always get married in Scotland but just for info in Scotland for it to be legal you have to have a minister (several ministers specialise in all faith weddings so humanist etc) conduct the ceremony not a registrar. The plus point about marrying up here is that it doesn't have to be a licenced venue just have a licenced minister - I'm actually doing it the other way around and getting married in England - but in a church.