I can always rely on honesty on Hitched.

As it stands, Mum is picking me up from Netball tonight and I will stay at hers and get the train to work tomorrow morning. I do not want to write my marriage off after only 9 months, however I do not want to stay right now.

I don't think you are writing it off but I think space is a good idea.

I think that's a sensible decision PP and FWIW you're stronger than me. Maybe a little time apart will give him a chance to reflect on what a chump he's been lately.

This gives me rage. I'm baffled as to what husband would ever ever react like that to such news?? He needs to grow the F up. So so sorry about your nan ?

I think space will do you both good. It will give you time to think things through and it will hopefully make him realise what a massive nobber he has been.

So sorry to hear about your Nan, Pompey.

I think space between you and him would be a good thing right now, can't understand how he could blank you when you were clearly upset about your Nan?

I can't believe that he didn't comfort you about your Nana. So sorry to hear this, hope that she is ok. ?

I was hysterical. I sat at the bottom of the shower for about 20minutes just sobbing when all I really wanted was a hug.

Thank you for helping me ladies, I don't know what to do for the best, how or if we're even going to get through this. Thank you for listening to me.

I think you are doing the right thing in going to your mum's and giving you both some space. I think you should stay as long as you need to.

It might be just what you need.

Your husband needs to grow up - not just because of this weekend but also because of the numerous other twuntish things he's done of late.

I am usually one for working through issues and sticking with it, through good and bad. If this instance was a stand alone one, that's what id suggest. But really, this is one of many lately. I get the impression he isn't ready to be a grown up ATM. He acts like a teenage boy. Talking to him obviously doesnt impact on him. I'd be taking myself off away from him. Be it staying with someone, paying for a cheap b and b or treatin yourself to a little break. I honestly think some time away from you will make him realise what you're worth to him. Because he does love you, but you're being taken for granted in a huge way

I really dont know if he does though.

If he doesn't, do you really want to spend your days like this? As above, I do think a break away from each other will give you the answers you need ?

Firstly huge hugs and I'm really sorry about your Nan.

For me it confirms the type of person he is if he couldn't even forget everything that was going on to comfort you at a time of need. I think this is disgusting.

Getting some space is exactly what you need just now then, when you are ready, you really need to sit down for a serious chat. You have to ask him outright where he loves you and wants to continue with the marriage. I'm with Missus S, I usually say work through things but there has been a whole string of this type of behaviour and just general disrespect to you recently. He has to know how wrong it is the way he treats you. Also, you wouldn't be throwing away your marriage, you tried and you haven't given up yet but unfortunately it takes 2 and a marriage can't work if its all one sided.

Best of luck xx

I think you have all the advice you need.

Just wanted to send huge hugs and hope the space does you both some good.

I have to say that the worst row my H and I ever had (and we split up for a few weeks after it) was the day my Pa was told he was palliative care only and had less than 6 months to live. I know I didnt handle the news very well and I guess my H was quite unable to process the information and my behaviour and console me in any way. So I, for one, would not necessarily knock your H for not coping with that.

Doesn't detract from the fact that I think he is sidling away from his other responsibilties to you and I hope you can decide what it is that YOU really want out of life.

Mum has said that she can pick me up so I will stay at hers tonight. I don't know whether or not to take tomorrow off.

Very late to this, but wanted to add my opinion.

First off, have a hug ? Not only for the sad news about your gran, but also because you have put up with a lot of sh1t lately.

I wouldn't have put that on FB, but then I don't tend to post anything relationship related on there, even good stuff - I never post on H's wall to say I love him or anything like that. That said, I understand why you did. If he is concerned about it's impact on his career, his page should be private and he shouldn't have senior colleagues as friends.

I think that over the last while it seems that he is constantly treating you in a way that you do not deserve to be treated. He is not showing you the respect that you deserve, and that needs to change. I think getting some space is for the best.

Sorry to hear about your Nan P.

As Sam said, ou've had some top notch advice already so just wanted to send love and hugs, hope you get sorted soon ?

Alternatively I can offer my services if you feel your H needs a bit of a duffing up ?

So sorry about your Nan P.

I think a bit of space will do you good. I wouldn't have put that status up personally, but I can see why you got to the point of frustration to make you do so. Your H is being totally out of order lately, deleting you from his friends is just childish. I hope he sorts himself out soon. ?

The whole Facebook thing I'm not sure who was in the wrong, you both had your reasons, and I can see it from both angles.

But the blanking you after your bad news thing? That's unforgivable. Heartless and cruel & he should be ashamed of himself.

Does he know you're not going home tonight? I think you should tell him that you're sorry for the Facebook thing, but you can't stand to be in a house with someone who doesn't put his anger aside and comfort his wife when she's received bad news. No matter what you'd argued about beforehand, when you hear something like that, you should be able to rely on him for comfort and support.

Thinking of you PP x

I wasn't going to tell him that I wasnt coming home to be honest. I don't really want to speak to him.

I wouldn't bother either. Let him wonder where you are for a change.

Removed

Really late to this, sorry.

First off, I'm so sorry to hear about your nan. I really hope it turns out to be unrelated.

As for your H, well, I personally think that however you feel about the other person if they are distressed and have had upsetting family news then all problems should be forgotten and you should support the other person. He should have been grown up enough to bury his petty issues with you long enough to help you process your worrying news.

I hope you are ok and have a nice peaceful evening at your mums x

Just caught up, so sorry to hear all this. I agree with this ^ completely.

I'm so sorry about your nan. I wouldn't have posted the facebook status, but clearly he's just embarrassed because his mates have taken the piss out of him. His childish overreaction is one thing, but ignoring you after getting such awful news is unforgiveable.

I think getting some space is a really good idea. It sounds like he's been taking you for granted for a while now, and this should give him the shock he needs.

I wouldn't have posted it - I'm not a big one for personal status updates, BUT I think allowing one of his friend to wee on the floor in your home is much worse! Also, I'd suggest that if he is attempting to progress at work, he doesn't make 'friends' with colleagues on Facebook...

Oh PP - I've just seen this bit. I am so sorry to hear how upset you are and how much you are suffering at the moment. I hope you're having some rest at your mum's house, you poor girl x

PP, how are you feeling today?

This too. Been thinking of you PP.

Hope you're ok PP x

Xxx