I can't stop crying *UPDATED* I stopped!

Don't know what else to say other than they should be feckin' ashamed of themselves. Do they not know how much pain and upset this will cause their son, as well as you?

They should absolutely be ashamed ashamed ashamed. I hope your H doesn't let them get away with it.

He has gone mental at them via email, they aren't really a face to face family.

I've tried to be flip and make out that it doesn't matter and that its pretty pointless telling him I am an "unsuitable match" AFTER the wedding, but I can't bear to see him so upset or for him to see me crying over the feckers. If they are PO'd by all means take it out on me, me but what they are doing to H is horrible. What makes it worse is that H's dad already has a son froma previous marriage that he doesn't see at all and this makes it two sons now as H is an only child.

What disgusting behaivour! How old are these people....3 years old! Some people are so far up their own backsides that they can't see what misery their actions cause!

Try not to let it cause trouble between you and your husband. I have the in laws from hell and i used to really let them get to me. I have now been married for 15 years and now have as little as possible to do with them. It's their loss as they hardly see their grandaughters!

I really sympathise!

Juliet x

Oh babe, thats just awful and I know that its going to be tearing up your H too....

my OH says allow your hubby to deal with them and just have nothing to do with them...easier said than done. I know. I cant believe they have treated you like this but remember they are TWO people out of many people and you have the love and support of your friends and your family. YOU dont need them, and i'm sure you can be perfectly civil for your sons sake and that of your husband coz after all YOU ARE A GROWN UP - which is more than i can say for your inlaws.

have a hug and remember you are loved by many and the most important two people are the two boys in your life xx

I think now you and H (if he agrees) should ignore any communication with them, not respond to any emails from them and just leave them to it. They'll soon regret what they've done/said.

Obviously your H might not want to just cut them out of his life, but it sounds like they have maybe gone too far even for H to forgive them. But for you, you don't need them - and they don't deserve you.

have a hug for you and your h - what a horrible situation for you both to be in.

Thanks ladies.

Its just hard being spoken about like this and not defending myself. I feel a bit useless letting H do it. Going to finish our wine and head to bed I think. So far we have not had a day since we got married ten days ago that they haven't had a go at us.

The latest is sniping at the photos on the blog, how they are all of me and H and none of them "Did we actually attend the wedding or was it all just a bad dream?" "Jackie was the bride and events manager in one, so she should take responsibilty for a flop of a wedding. She obviously needed help from people with experience in these matters as her mistakes were glaringly obvious"

This is all because we didn't give in to every little request and demand and because we didn't have a big showboat of a wedding - we wanted a small intimate wedding, which is what we had with a larger evening reception so that everyone was included.

The sad thing is that H is the one who wants to cut them off for a while and I have been encouraging him to try and keep the lines of communication open so that the situation doesn't go beyond reasonable resolution.

I think it might be best if we did just leave things for a while.

How utterly selfish of them, after all the hard work of planning the day of your dreams!

I would pick myself up and think how many other people truely enjoyed themselves, and where there to see you two enjoy yourselves.

They sound jealous of happiness if you ask me, in-laws can be strange peeps sometimes, I have troubles with mine, so do many others, never think your on your own with horrible people like that!!

Look forward to the future and enjoy your new married life. xxx

???????

horrible nasty pathetic people!

Just wanted to say big ? to you...

And to them!!!

Sarah xx

Wow are there actual people like this?? You wouldn't think they were the parents. They sound very nasty.

I'd be glad not to have them in my life. ?

Wow are there actual people like this?? You wouldn't think they were the parents. They sound very nasty.

I'd be glad not to have them in my life. ?

All that over a room?!

My goodness, some people never cease to amaze me. Honestly, they need to realise that THEY'RE the ones 'driving a wedge' . Them and only them. They need to take a long hard look at themselves and their behaviour and attitude and see just how pathetic and childish they're being. And that its only going to make people think they're silly. Which they clearly are.

Its neither fair, or right of them to treat you, and your family like that. And to say such hurtful things to your H is just plain spiteful.

I do, however, get where you're coming from in trying to get your H to keep contact with them. Goodness knows you deserve a medal for that, and for holding your tongue! Maybe it'd be a good idea to let things settle a bit. Your H could email them and say that you don't want to cut all contact with them, as it'd be unfair for him, you and your child, but that as the atmosphere is obviously uneasy that maybe it'd be best to cool things for a while, and see how thing are in a few weeks (or however long is suitable) and then take it slowly.

Its a compromise more than anything. They're the only ones being unreasonable, and until they can behave like adults, then thats how it'll be. Wow, its like disciplining a child!!

? to you, as you certainly need it, and dfinitely deserve it.

Keep your chin up lovely. You've done nothing wrong.

x

Hi hon,

Sorry to read this - what a terrible situation to be in!

I can't believe they're reacting like this! With regards to their comment about "Jackie being the bride and wedding planner..... mistakes glaringly obvious etc etc" How many weddings have they planned??!! Fcukin cheeky tarts!!

I'm sure all of your other guests had a fantastic time and loved every minute of it!

You were right to stick to your guns and have the day YOU BOTH wanted and not what they wanted you to have.

They are going to miss out on a lot of they're behaviour continues and I think its the short sharp shock they need to snap them back to reality!

Talk about Bridezilla - more like PILzilla!!

I mean all over a room because they felt they deserved better because of their status!! A tent out the back would have been more fitting!! The only couple with 'status' on a wedding day is the Bride & Groom getting married!!

PM me there address and I'll send the boys round to sort them out ?

Luv always

Victoria

xxx

My heart totally goes out to you. They have tainted your first happy days as newlyweds, not to mention causing you hassle on the day re the room. Our wedding was tainted by relatives behaving badly, but nothing compared to what you're both going through?

I've quoted your post above because I agree with your OH. Why should you pander to their bad behaviour?

If they continue to rant and rave, don't rise to it. Your OH should tell them that he knows they're upset but that they're taking things to far - that if, and when they wish to discuss things reasonably and are willing to treat you with respect, then you will both listen.

Let them rant and rave if they so wish - just try not to let it bother you both. Time will show them how unreasonable they're being.

Grrrr - typing this out now, i'm so angry on your behalf.

? for the replies and reassurance - I was starting to believe all the negativity yesterday and was starting to obsess a bit on looking back over things.

Yes there were a few mistakes - the venue forgot to put our cd on for the meal so some of the songs we wanted didn't get played and the co-ordinator was new as the old one we spoke to had left so he didn't seem much cop, but hey we were getting married! We didn't care about a few glitches!

H and I had a good talk last night and we agreed, at his request, that we are not entertaining them with this anymore. We have blocked their email address and will screen calls for a while. I have never seen H so angry - he is one of those people who is normally so laid back, he is horizontal!

I knew that they didn't think our wedding was grand enough - they got married in a registry office and had a buffet at home for theirs and they always wanted "better" for their only son. Plus FIL is on his second marriage and his wife and son from that one won't or don't speak to him and haven't done for about 15 years now. I wonder why they want nothing to do with him?

Gah - I'm not going to obsess about it. I'm not. They are the loons, not me. They can feck off for what they are doing to H.

Good God, they have tracked me down on Facebook now.

Loons, loons, loons.

WHAT?????!!!!! This all sounds like its getting completely out of hand. They sound like a pair of bullies to be honest - HOW DARE THEY!!!! Lets all go around and sort 'em out.

Lots of hugs.....

Jo I love that smiley and its very apt!?

We are going out for the day with bratski and having a family day before we all have to go back to work. No loons allowed!

HOW PATHETIC!! xx poor you kat xxx sending you a hug ?

Katamari make your Facebook profile private (I THINK you can do this) to stop them commenting. Then just ignore them - they are absolutely pathetic!

L.xxx

Wow. its amazing how parents can be like this. do they not realise how unfair they are being. i do hope you sort it all soon, but tbh if it was me i dont think i could be held responsible for my actions. i would have a go back and cut all ties - but that is just me!

I feel for you so much, particularly your new hubby. it must be an awful situation to find himself in.

You are obviously bothering them by ignoring them so you keep on doing just that.

Sad , sad people. I cannot believe that someone especially parents of the couple would make any kind of judgement on their sons wedding.

They will be the sorry ones , keep your chin up.

We have had a call from another relative asking on PIL behalf about a wedding announcement in the local paper. Under the circumstances we really don't want to do one - we weren't going to do one anyway as neither of us were that fussed about it. Everyone we wanted to announce our wedding to was there on the day!

However apparently PIL have kicked off and "how dare we embarrass them this way as family expect a wedding announcement". I'm not doing one out of principle now as I am NOT giving into bully boy tactics. According to them this was the ONE thing that I (not H I notice!) could have done to repair the damage that I caused. They can pi$$ off - why would I want the world to know that I married into such a loony family? Relative has since apologised and said she will not be passing on anymore messages, but it would seem that the extended family are getting a super skewed and biased version of events.

I don't know if I feel better or not taking the higher ground and letting it all go over my head. I'm upset at this treatment, especially as its way out of character from them. I just feel quite defenceless in not answering back.

Making an annoucement is something i hadn't even considered , as you say everyone you wanted to know was there anyway.

They seem to be very odd people

Do you think they expected to recieve more attention on the day than they actually got & this is what has got them all bothered, you know with their status an all.

Good point - me neither. I know its traditional to do an engagement announcement (we didn't though) but a wedding one? Very very old school.

Its such a difficult one. In some ways you are better to keep your mouth shut and take the higher ground by ignoring them but the other option is to let people know whats going on otherwise the PIL could turn the rest of the family against you (which sounds like what they are doing).

I know I would be raging and wouldn't be able to contain myself.

I've read all of this with my jaw-dropped! I can not belive they have gone on to track you down on Facebook. It is ridiculous, and by the sounds of it just want to rant at you. Frankly I think it is disgusting behaviour. Best of luck and I hope all of this calms down soon, and whether you make things up or not, remember that your husband is supporting you completely!

Best of luck! And have a ?

xx

? Can't believe this. Think you've done all you can to try to shut them up for a bit, maybe just let the dust settle and hope they grow up!

We didn't do either announcement - it never really occured to us. I used to live in PIL hometown and have some rather unpleasant memories from there so the idea didn't enthuse me. Apparently they don't care about this, only the fact that we are showing them up in front of their family.

I think it stems from the fact that their "status" wasn't recognised. However we didn't make a song and dance about anyone really - everyone IMO was treated equally - obviously my dad had to give me away so he had a bit of the spotlight moreso than them.

I am raging inside and have come up with a million and one killer put downs and emails, but I know it would make the situation worse and I don't want to stoop to their level. Its just the crap about "If experienced people had been on hand to help (them) then there wouldn't have been so many mistakes". Plus they keep telling me I am too young to have organised it - I am nearly 30!?

H is ringing the people that matter to thank them for coming and hopefully set any records straight if they ask. We will then send out our thanks you cards as normal.

JAY-sus. What have your folks said about it or do they know? Are they able to help ease the situ....(sorry you may have said in a previous post.....maybe am not paying enough attention).

God they need to be told the wedding wasn't about them - they have had their wedding and it sounds like it was run like a Nazi regime if their comments about yours were anything to go by!!!

In all the planning from your posts on here you always seemed so organised and you were so they can stick it!!!!!!

Id be soooooo tempted to write a wedding announcement of sorts thanking the inlaws for totally ruining your wedding day, upsetting their son, behaving like a pair of brats, complaining about incidentals which remained oblivious to all the remaining wonderful guests who had a wonderful time at the wedding.

infact - go and hire one of those bill boards and give them a right good slaggin??

(as if here on the net wasnt enuff! LOLOLOLOL)