i don’t know what i want!

I was engaged for 4 years to my ex and never got down the aisle, I wanted a big hotel type do but it never happened. Now I’m engaged to my fiancé and he’s been married before but only in a registry office so we are going quite big (80 to the day and approx 100 evening) but in a slightly different venue- a transport museum!
I think you need to decide what is most important to you, is it the food, drink, a fancy meal, disco and dancing or just having everyone together sharing your day. For me it was to have a slightly different maybe quirky venue and a fancy meal and disco. We are lucky as my parents are helping out financially but nowadays there’s so much choice out there and so many ideas to keep costs down, lots of DIY ideas on the internet and shops such as Hobbycraft and B&M do great items for decoration if you end up doing a DIY venue. Start with a theme as well, even if it just starts with a colour that is a good point to expand on.
Lot of ideas on here as well, look at the real weddings section.Good luck!

I found that setting up a Pinterest board for all my wedding bits really helped me visualise the whole thing, and also made it a lot easier when booking suppliers too.

I never thought I would get married , and I was never one of those girls then dreamt about it and played weddings so when i first started planning mine I really didn't know what I wanted and, like you, also didn't want to spend a fortune on the venue.

I picked a date and found a beautiful Golf Club to get married in and everything else sort of fell into place from there.

Hope this helps and good luck with the planning and congrats on getting engaged x

My advice is to not think about what you always thought you wanted in the past in the hypothetical, but look at your life and your relationship now and the best and most fun (for you) way of celebrating that. My fiancé and I started with a no pressure "scoping" conversation where we didn't think about the cost or logistics or availability of anything, we just talked through some basic points to narrow the list of options (before you get overwhelmed by looking at EVERYTHING). Time of year, size, general feel e.g.formal/informal/outdoors/indoors/boho/romantic/grand etc. We did an initial guest list really early including all the "maybes" so we had an idea of how many people we were talking about.
Also, having a private discussion between the two of you about things you didn't like about other weddings you've been to in the past is quite helpful. It fed into our selection of venues (it turned out my fiancé doesn't like the dance floor being in the middle of where people are eating so we needed to find somewhere that had space we could lay out how we wanted) and some stuff we decided to not spend our money on (in our case, wedding cake).
Hope that helps.

Oh wow thank you so much for replying & the great tips! Will start a Pinterest board, I have had a quick look. And me & OH are going to sit down later today & im going to write down ideas of what we want/don’t want.

Congratulations! I second everything that's been said already. In terms of venue, that will be easier once you have seen a few. I'd recommend visiting 2 or 3 "types" so you can be really sure of what is important to you both. For example we went to see a stately home, marquee and a tythe barn venue first, made pros and cons of each type and settled on what was right for us (the barn won)!

Congratulations, so exciting! I would suggest you work out your budget and then only go and look at venues that will be in that range or you will be disappointed if you fall in love with something out of range. Hotels are often cheaper as the event space is there but not their only revenue source unlike specific wedding venues. Research before hand and look at all in packages so you don't have to organize several suppliers and don't forget to add in the extras like favours, dress, suits, cars and entertainment as it all adds up pretty quickly. We cut things like cars and additional flowers as this shaved over £1.5k off our spend and is not vital to us, the main thing is everyone having a good time. The budget tool on here is good, takes a bit of time to add in your prices but is worth it, as some things were more than we expected! The main thing I would suggest is once you have found the venue and confirmed your date be sure to call the other suppliers such as MUA and photographer to book in and secure your date and avoid disappointment. good luck and enjoy your planning

Thanks everyone! Some good points Charlotte, I think I need to set a budget & then look around. I was hoping 5-6k but after a quick look that might be unrealistic! I I could try & cut costs tho like you say, flowers & cars. think I’m struggling as my finance doesn’t seem to have a preference to anything 🙄 so feel like I need to plan it all 🤯

Definitely set the budget! We thought about 10k and we are now at 13k, but we have added in some things like a photobooth and sweet cart we were not initially having. The biggest cost will be the venue and catering, and these can vary so much in cost and what you get. Look for ones that include all the table ware, napkins, cake stand, dance floor and DJ, as these can add up when sourced separately. Our reception is at a Hilton, the all in packages are really good compared to other hotels in the area, we are lucky that ours is attached to the cricket ground and lakes so is a really nice location and is fairly new so the décor inside is nice and neutral. I would say for you both to go to a few venues and wedding fayres to help give you some inspiration and that might get your fiancé's thoughts going! Good luck, message me if you need any advice or tips x

View quoted message Thanks for the tips. I’ve a actually looked at the Hilton, seems very reasonable! Like you say best prices for hotels really. And it’s good as family that are travelling can stay there so no gaffing with taxis ect! The one near me does wedding fairs, so I’ve followed them on fb for updates. When do you get married? You sound very organised! Are you enjoying planning it?

View quoted message The hotel option was also a decider for us as we have family coming from all over so is good they can stay on site. Get married 30th April 2022, to be honest I had it all planned and booked within 3 weeks if deciding what we wanted, I am a planner in my job so is in my nature! Once you have booked the big stuff there will be a lull but it is good to then relax and have fun looking at dresses and other bits. If you ever want advice or run ideas please feel free to message me. X

Hi We’ve got ten year old twins, this is my second marriage. I didn’t think we would get married but we are!!! My dad passed away last year before we got engaged at Christmas and I never really thought about having a wedding until oh finally proposed. Instantly I knew I didn’t want a big fuss. The thought of people watching me was a massive no. After loosing dad the thought of walking down the isle was terrifying. We registered dads death in the local council house and I noticed how beautiful the place was so just had a look at the price involved. I was really surprised. I costed up different options. We settled on a small room just us and the kids (3 of) for the whole wedding including a night in a hotel, a party and our little honeymoon we’ve come in under 3k. Which is exactly what I wanted, no fuss, and all planned from January we get married next month eek!