I don;t want a wedding!! I just want to marry him xx

What does he want? I'm sure most men would be delighted at just having a small wedding.

I am the same as you and don't want a wedding but want to marry my partner. He's really quiet and doesn't want a big fuss either. Neither of our families like weddings either!

We are planning on a registry office wedding just the 2 of us with 2 people from the registry office as our witnesses.

Going to ask our families to meet us for dinner that evening then when they turn up we will tell them we got married and pay for their meal.

We were the same although he would have done whatever I wanted. I wanted to see the Northern lights so we went to Lapland with two friends and married while there. I did decide in the end I wanted a wedding dress and photographer so we did sort those in the end. As long as the two of you are happy whatever you decide is fine. We didn't tell people until it was too late for them to complain (much).

My brother got married abroad, with just him and his wife, and a couple of witnesses who were just randomers they met while there. They wore suit and wedding dress and did a dove release/had photos etc, but they absolutely loved not having the pressure of friends and family there. Someone I worked with went to a wedding at Gretna Green, where she was one of the two witnesses, and she said it was the best wedding she's ever been to. Very intimate and just a lovely relaxed day all about what it should be about - the commitment the couple were making to one another. I think it's lovely if that's what you'd prefer. I would say more people do it than you think. Hope your fiancé is on the same page as you - having tonnes of guests and putting on a display isn't what it's about really anyway! X

Yeah it's so much more intimate, relaxed and informal if it's just a few of you there. Also, think how stressful it is to organise a big wedding and how many arguements and disagreements there are.

If he isn't on the same page as you, and as a compromise alternative, someone on hitched organised a surprise wedding. Registry office and a meal in a pub (I think) so people were invited on some pretext or other but didn't know they were attending their wedding until they arrived. That at least means you can keep numbers small for the ceremony (doesn't have to be a registry office) and avoids all the interference before hand with what you should or shouldn't do or who you should or shouldn't invite. I've also seen somewhere a couple who invited close family to an engagement. Or maybe it was to formally announce when the wedding would be. They announced it would be ..... now. Followed by the wedding. You just need a good enough reason that people will turn up and not be in their gardening clothes. X

Could I ask did you ever decide on this? I'm having the same problem we're getting married in Canada just us two and I've been told I must have a party or I will upset everyone. Me and my partner are both very quiet and don't do attention very well and a party really isn't us. We've lived together for five years and we don't see the fuss involved we just want to be married (nothing against people that do it's just we're both very quiet people) I'm just wondering if you managed to get around it.

Thank you

Stacey

I'm not the original poster, but in a similar situation. Sorry to break it to you, but I gave in and we are organising a party as well! Our legal wedding will have been two years before the reception, but that is how long we needed to save to host the party.

My husband really wanted to celebrate with everyone, but I was very happy with our small registry office ceremony. So the way I am coping is that I think of our first wedding as the real one and second wedding as just a party I am throwing for friends and family. I actually quite like organising things, and I enjoy picking a venue and choosing food and drink for everyone. But I do not care about making the venue look nice, and I will be wearing the same dress as the first time so it's a lot less to plan than a normal wedding. I also don't feel any need to "enjoy my wedding" on the night, so I can run around making sure people have enough to drink and giving the caterers instructions etc without feeling stressed that I am missing out on my own big day.

It's your wedding day and your marriage. Do what you both think is best.

We're going on a road trip, getting married in the desert somewhere, just the two of us and are throwing a party with street food, band and cake. The way we see it is that we get the best of both worlds - we get to say our vows to each other outside, in the desert, with a photographer capturing the moment for us. Then, we get to have an awesome party with our loved ones at home. We'll be sending out invites shortly - almost like the evening part to the wedding but just with much more focus on partying / dancing and drinking! Almost like a night out with our nearest and dearest.

Everyone needs to do what is right for them and their partner. Worry about everyone else after you've decided what it is you want.

We got married at St Lucia, just two of us. Best thing ever. Very romantic and meaningful. Don't regret at all. Though we did organise a blessing and a proper party in London afterwards as in my case my husband wanted to have something for his friends and family. If your fiance wants a party, why not get him organise it? Think Don't Tell the Bride

At the end of the day, you have to do what's right for you. I remember driving past Gretna Green in the midst of our planning and being like 'Lets just stop now!' In the end we had a totally traditional church wedding, then a massive party, and tbh it was great.

So long as you do what you want, and you're marrying the person you love, then no matter how many people are there, where it is, or how much you spend, it's going to be the most amazing day ever!

I hope you ended up/end up getting the day you want

View quoted message

Hi Jayne,

Really interested to hear about your experience, thanks for sharing.

Could you tell me how you organised the ceremony there? Or did you officially marry at home?

Thank you

Laura

View quoted message

Hi Laura. We didn’t have to marry in the U.K. as a Lapland wedding is legal and recognised by the U.K. some people us a wedding planner out there called sun and snow weddings including a friend and Rue is really good. I felt it was ok to do on my own. I booked a holiday and contacted the ice chapels direct to arrange a date. The paperwork is scary but not as complicated as it sounds. Chapel booked a magistrate to do the wedding. We gave notice at our local registry in U.K. and completed paperwork and sent it back with our permission to marry document from registry office (can’t remember what it’s called). I probably still have copies of it all at home. Fly home Monday so if you’re interested email me at ************@*****.**.** and I can help you out with it. My reports etc are on hitched if you search. You can wear what you want, walk down the aisle alone or together or not, have friends or not but you need two witnesses, book a reception or not. We ate in a local restaurant after but I couldn’t resist the reindeer sleigh arrival lol. Regards, Jayne.

Hmm diver jayne 22 at the hoo in U.K.?

OMG, this is so me. Only difference is he doesn't mind at all but my mum has made it a point to remind me everyday how I have to have a church wedding with a reversed in attendance (even when I've told her countless times that I'm not interested; I'm not even a Christian anymore). What does one do?

I am not looking forward to our wedding. I just wanted a pop up wedding a couple of friends and close family. My fiancés family said if we didn’t have a wedding they’d throw us a party to celebrate with their extended family and friends. So we agreed to the wedding so I wouldn’t have to go to two parties. I regret not eloping. It’s such a pain in the ass planning something I give zero shits about.