I don't want children at my wedding :(

It really is up to you and your OH. don't let people pressure you. I would say though that if you stick to your guns you may lose some guests who have child care issues. I'm not saying that means you should invite the kids just in return don't be insulted if the adults cannot come as a result.

I had really wanted kids at my wedding. We have non in the close family so invited all our friends with little ones (all under 3)to bring them along. Named them on the invite and asked them to let us know what additional facilities they'd need. It turns out non of the parents want to bring their kids. They've decided it would be too much work for them and they want an adult day themselves. This means the parents have chosen to come to the evening only so they are only getting childcare for the evening. Turns out they have saved me a fortune. Now all I have to worry about is one of my bridesmaids going into labour!

We simply had the following line on our invites: "please note that this will be an adult only event". We had made two exceptions, both for family members travelling from England with newborns who are currently breastfeeding.

I feel like a villain now!! Bad **Shelley**! Lol

Well I have been looking online for acceptable and non-offensive wording to say "NO KIDS" and have found the following:

‘Parents please note: It is our wish to have an adult-only celebration. We hope that this advance notice means that you are still able to share our big day.’

‘We hope you understand that we have chosen to make our special day adults only.’

‘To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen for our wedding day to be adults only.’

‘We want to make you aware as early as possible that due to numbers and maximum capacity of the venue, we will not be able to invite children to the wedding or reception. We thank you for your understanding on this matter.’

‘We hope no offence is taken but due to budget restrictions, we are unable to invite your children.’

‘We would like to make it clear that due to costs and the wishes of the bride and groom, children are not invited to the wedding ceremony or reception. We thank you for your understanding.’

‘Although children are not invited to the wedding, some local hotels can provide a babysitting service in your room. Details of this are shown below.’

Which do you like?

Or this: We hope you understand that the Bride & Groom have chosen to make their special day adults only.

HELP!!! I want to get all our invitations printed this week so your additional feedback would be seriously appreciated.

x

Hi Shelley,

Here are my thoughts:

It is really good, if there is an alternative for guests with children!

We are having children at our wedding, but mainly as most guests will need to travel at least 300 miles and so a whole weekend without the kids is a little bit unfair from our point of view. But like others said, I think a lot of people will welcome a break and the advanced notice will certainly help. I attended a wedding where a guest was really unhappy about not being able to bring kids, so only the father came to the wedding ceremony and then the mother and daughter came later in the evening. You just have to be prepared for anyone who is going to cause a fuss, although I think most people will understand!

Thanks. This is the hardest bit I think. All my mates have been super about this but I'm yet to approach the subject with cousins and OH's friends.

Did you not like this: We hope you understand that the Bride & Groom have chosen to make their special day adults only.?

Do we have to give reasons for our decision? I know if I were the recipient I certainly wouldn't be rude enough to question the bride and groom's decision.

(

x

Some really greta advice, I am glad it is not a uncommon thing to not invite children. I feel much more relaxed on the situation xxx Thank you

You are right, you certainly don't have to give reasons. I did feel that giving some kind of reason was beneficial, although not essential. I did like the first one where you are re-enforcing the fact that although it's adult only, you wish your invitees to still attend: "We hope that this advance notice means that you are still able to share our big day."

It's a really difficult one, and you could mess around with wording forever! I don't think there is a perfect way to do this, but I hope my humble opinion helps in some way

In my personal opinion, I would NOT give reasons/s for your decision - I've read elsewhere (and I agree) that is opens the situation up to people trying to convince you against your decision - for example saying it is due to budget concerns, then they could offer to pay for the children - or even worse if you say 'for the comfort/so we can all relax [...no children]" because people might get insulted if they think you're saying children there would mean they cannot relax etc etc - you don't need to justify it. It's your wedding!

We didn't want children at the wedding for two reasons - a) the capacity of the venue - I'd rather have more of my friends than children there and b) we have been to so many wedding where children have in my opinion ruined parts of the day - crying in church, talking through the speeches, running around on the dance floor. We put something along the lines of ' due to the size of our venue we regret that we are unable to extend the invitation to children, we hope that this prior notice means that you are still able to share our special day with us'. No sooner had they landed on peoples doormats grandparents were being booked left right and center - it seems people were delighted at the prospect of a child free evening and most have made it in to a long weekend.

If you don't want children there - don't have them just to make other people happy. I find that there is too much of a feeling of 'I love my child so everyone else must too!' ...We don't!

I'm having the same issue.... My partner has 2 girls, 12 and 10 years old... They're lovely and we get on well, BUT...

We met and fell in love in Florida, and I really really want to get married there. We've both been married before so I don't want the whole sit down meal, speeches, bridesmaids etc etc, I just want a special day about us, somewhere that means something to us.

He was originally in agreement, but now he wants his kids there and wants me to have them as bridesmaids. If I try and explain why i don't want them there... ie there will be no other children for them to play with, they will be wanting his attention all day when his attention should be on the guests and me etc and not worry where the kids are or what they've eaten, not to mention the price difference of doing it in the UK as I'm paying for the whole thing, he takes offense and says I'm criticizing his children and I'm not at all.... I just wanted our day to be special and about us.

I have always said we will have a day with the family when we get home, so it's not like I want to exclude them completely, I just want the day we actually say I do, to be in Florida, just us.

I've put a roof over their heads, paid off his debts, pay for absolutely everything and all I want is one day - is that really too much to ask for?? Or am i being the selfish cow he accuses me of??

sob sob sob....

This is a really old thread?? We don't want any children at ours either...but if my h2b had children then of course they would be there! I think your request to not have them there is really unusual so I'm not surprised that your h2b isn't happy. As you're marrying him they will become a part of your family too, so why wouldn't they come?

This thread is so old it's practically vintage.

However, randomly bumping poster, in the off chance that you are not a troll, you are to quote your own phrase being a 'selfish cow' my husband wouldn't have entertained the idea of getting married without his children there and would have been heartbroken had I suggested it.

And I have paid off debts and keep a roof over my husband and his children's heads. It's called love.

Nbez - Yes, you are definitely a selfish cow. They are his children, I think iit's only right they see their father get married.

Not sure why I even responded, blatant troll.

Errmmm the whole wedding thing is about him and his children! You are not only marrying him but his children too! Why shouldn't they be there to witness it and be involved! They are old enough to entertain themselves so I'm sure they will not require 'babying' throughout the day!

we are only having children who are in bridal party and 2 who are travelling from the states! Other than that it's a no children and babies rule!

Obviously if OH had kids they'd be there too!

I think your wording sounds fine, don't feel bad about not wanting children there it is your day!! I know this question comes up time after time and people seem to have some very strong opinions on it however everyone's different and wants different things from their wedding day so just do what is right for you. I personally am having 6 children at my wedding who are mine and my OH's cousins and my bridesmaid's daughter all of which I am very close too and see regularly and couldn't imagine not having them as part of my day. To me my wedding is about sharing my special day with my family and friends and that includes children!! Like I said though your wording for your invite sounds fine, I wouldn't worry!!!