I don't want her to be my bridesmaid anymore!

I think if you tell her you don't want her to be bridesmaid anymore then you will loose the friendship. It's a difficult one but at the end of the day it's your wedding so do what is best for you x

I agree with the last comment, if you ask her not to be a bridesmaid then you are likely to lose her friendship altogether.

I posted on here a while back about a friend that I had asked to be a bridesmaid. I actually had planned not to ask her but she had asked me to be hers (before she split with her fiance) and I eventually asked her on a night out one night when we were drinking. She has always been really flaky and would constantly cancel on things so we had been drifting a bit and I had hoped that maybe this would bring us back closer again. It has brought us closer but she still cancels all the time and I quite often wish that I hadn't asked her, but at the end of the day I know that asking her not to be a bridesmaid is going to end our friendship as it will cause so much hurt so I would rather put up with a bridesmaid that's being a bit of a pain in the arse than lose her as a friend.

Others might see it differently though so it's completely down to what you really want but be prepared for what may come from it. If you do try to speak to her I would maybe go along the lines of, 'with you moving so far away it might make it tricky for you to be involved in wedding plans so maybe you could come as a guest and do a speech instead?'

Sorry if I'm wrong but you state she's bitter because you're engaged but she's marrying next year and having you as a bridesmaid? And one of the reasons you wish you hasn't asked is because of the number? Do you only want 4? Think about why you asked her in the first place and don't focus on the future. I had just met this lady and we became friends and I attended her wedding, I then moved 4 hours away and got a new job and somehow we have become closer despite the distance ! Focus on her good points and she may prove to be the most helpful bridesmaid and support you and organise stuff. If you drop we as BM you could lose the friendship and it could taint the wedding x

I don't think that moving several hours away and having a new job is a reason to not want anyone to be your BM, as distance is nothing nowadays, with the technology available. I have my MoH who lives a couple of hundred miles away, and is due to have a baby 3 weeks before the wedding - I know that her priorities are (and rightly) going to be elsewhere, other than my wedding, over the next few months, but does that stop her being important to me? No? Will she even be wearing a dress that co-ordinates with the other BM? Who knows? Whether she takes the formal role, or just becomes a regular guest and does a reading for me, she knows that she is important enough to me to be my MoH - no one will be asked in her place, and she will have all the trappings of the role, a gift bag, opportunity for hair and make up, etc regardless of whether she actually does ANYTHING towards the planning.

My other BM is due to move to Switzerland in 6 weeks to work, returning in April, 6 weeks before the wedding. Does it stop her being my BM? No, we will do what we need to do by skype, facebook, emails, pinterest, etc. Can she come with me to my dress fittings - no of course not, I will be doing that on my own as she is not there, but it doesn't stop her being my BM because I want her to be.

So, think about who you want and why. The real reasons. Most practicalities can be gotten round, but if you really don't want her to be BM now, think about if you really want her to be a friend, and be prepared to lose her forever. If the thought of that doesn't bother you, then I think you have got your answer.

Ultimately, you should do what feels right for you. Whatever that may be. But you have time on your side, so don't make any more rash decisions as you will find them difficult to reverse!

I'm a bit confused - you have referred to her to start with as one of your best friends (which is why you asked her in the first place). What has changed to make you not want her as BM anymore? What do you mean by saying she has become bitter about you being engaged?

Is there a particular reason why you don't want 5 - cost? or just a preference thing? I think you need to tread carefully if you don't want to lose your friendship.

If you think she isn't that bothered about being a bridesmaid why not ask her to do a reading or something instead? But I think you need to be prepared for her to be upset and angry if you do decide to ask her not to be BM any more so you need to think of a way to tell her tactfully that you don't want her anymore.

That said - it is your wedding and you need to be happy with your choices. So if it is really that important to you not to have her then you need to tell her. Sooner rather than later IMO

xx