I feel like I am being backed into a corner

You cant email your boss if she s not at work. thats the same as the girl contacting you and you feeling like youre under pressure.

looking at it from the other side, i can see why she might be frustrated, but equally, its for you to lay down the boundaries of what you feel comfortable in doing, and being assertive about it. if she isnt happy, thats her issue to deal with, not yours. dont take on board her problems.

edited to add that if your firm is ok with you coming back gradually, and it obviously is, surely its for them to deal with staffing issues, and not for this girl to be coming to you about it anyway?

I agree with Nick, but can understand why it is difficult to assert yourself.

Was your return to work agreement recorded anywhere? perhaps you could share that with her?

Gah, I hate it when things like this happen. The company know that you are not firing on all cylinders, that's why you are off work, but then inadvertently put you in a position where you need to be assertive (and therefore firing on all cylinders).

Pickled Eggs, please be strong. Write yourself out a little note and keep it with you that says something like 'I've been advised by my health professional that the maximum I should be working is x' and keep looking at it if you get these phonecalls.

My boss was very much of the attitude "whatever is best for you, we will accomodate that" which is why I agreed to come back. I understand their point of view, they are running a business and providing a service after all. I was going to email her to make her aware when she is back on Monday but in reality it isn't gonna make much difference is it.

I haven't had my official return to work yet, I am presuming that it will be done next week sometime.

Can you not talk to your boss and mutually agree a timetable of your attendance?

I would wait until monday when your boss is back to be honest, then go and see her face to face and see what happens. She sounds like she understands and is willing to let you do things in your own time, maybe the other girl wasn't fully aware of the agreement?

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I would wait until monday when your boss is back to be honest, then go and see her face to face and see what happens. She sounds like she understands and is willing to let you do things in your own time, maybe the other girl wasn't fully aware of the agreement?

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Pickled Eggs - don't let your worry about this detract that you have just managed your first shift back after 3 months off. Yes, it was hard, but there were upsides (seeing your colleagues) and at the end of the day - you did it! So don't lose sight of that - it's a big deal, and you should be pleased with yourself.

This girl probably doesn't understand just how hard it is for you. I know you tried to say no - but then you did say yes, so she may not have realised that wasn't a genuine yes, but one you felt pressured into. And although she seemed stand-offish about next week, when you said no to Wed, she put the request out for cover - so if I understand that right, she accepted what you said. She may have been stand-offish because she was stressed about sorting it out... she shouldn't take that out on you... but try not to let that make you think she's going to be unreasonable next week. There are positives - she called to check on you today, and she accepted that you would work Mon and Fri next week.

I would suggest that you decide what you are prepared to work next week - whether it is 3 hours on each day, or 4 - on your own, or with others. Once you've made that decision - make another one - that you will stick to it. If necessary, mail her and tell her that you find it hard to say no, so please to not ask you, beyond what's been agreed. Try to remove yourself from the position where you might feel guilty and vulnerable to being persuaded. If you are asked to do more - don't even think about whether you can or can't - stick a note to your phone of what you've agreed, and look at that when you're answering.

Sounds like you'll be much happier when your proper boss is back, and that will be the time for you to think 'yes, I think I can do that extra hour actually' - save it for the most supportive environment.

But give yourself a ? for getting through today!