I feel like I'm going mad, finding a wedding venue problems

Step back and see if you can picture your wedding day at any - I actually, after similar problems not being able to decide, did a bit of planning for each - how the day would 'flow', where we would have each section, centerpieces. Don't want to confuse your further but it really helped me that one then stood out and was worth the bit of extra money.

If there is something that makes it a no - like expensive drink - cross it off. When it gets to this point you have to use things that you could work around to cut the places out otherwise every place is a option.

Could you 'subsidise' the drinks by asking the venue to e.g. let you cover the first £1 of every drink, making it £3 for the guests? Just seems that if that's the only problem and you love the venue in every other respect, seems silly to let it go over that IF there is indeed a solution to be had.

Personally I think you need to think about what you want for your day, and worry about your guests after that. Not saying you shouldn't consider their needs and comfort and enjoyment into your decision - but see if there are work arounds for the venue you like best.

For example, if I were you and loved Fisherman's retreat, then are there any other rooms at the venue that you could use for quiet space for the older members of the parents to take the kids for a chill out? Our venue has no accommodation, but we do get use of an extra room - which could be for getting ready, or storing clothes, changin etc, but if we had young and old like you we would use it for that I think.

Where is the closest accommodation? could you make sure the young and old arein the closest? do a deal with a local taxi compnay for reduced rates for those that want to pop to accommodation during the day?

I think there are solutions (that don't need to break the bank) that can be worked out so you can hav the favourite venue and still solve the other issues.

Personally I think no accommodation is easier to overcome than really high bar prices!

What does your heart say - if you ignored all the practical things, where do you want to get married? I would at least think trhough whether you can overcome the issues to make that one feasible. At least then you know the 'dream' venue really isn't possible before you settle on something esle!

I'm the same! I've never known myself to be so indecisive about how my days going to go! I'm also in the northwest (liverpool)... So let me know how you get on.

I think the idea of planning the wedding in different places is a good idea, might do that myself! xxx

Where are your/your guests from? £4+ a pint is pretty standard in London.

The £4+ pint venue would be top of our budget so I don't think we'd then be able to subsidise drinks, plus the rooms there are £235 a night! I feel £3ish a pint is ok for a function but more than that is too much, most of our guests are also in the NW and will probably agree!

It's definitely about what we want from our day and that's what we've been considering first and foremost but one of the 3 year olds is our own so we want him to have a good day too, and in turn it be comfortable for my parents who will mostly be looking after him!

I can see myself getting married at quite a few of the venues, I know I could dress them (with help) to look fantastic etc so I think that's why I'm struggling. We really do love the Fisherman's Retreat but the lack of accommodation is worrying me. I also want to stop over the night before and get ready there.

Hi;

I don't live near you but I have had friends who had venues without accommodation and they have contacted a local hotel and asked for rooms to be reserved there and then if they are not taken six weeks in advance the hotel have released them.

Not sure if you could consider this.

We have done precisely this!

Honestly - having been part of your thread on Fisherman's retreat - if you love it don't let the accommodation be a hurdle. Why not speak to the venue about your specific concerns. What is it that you think having accommodaton will help with for your son and parents? The venue may be able to think of a solution.

And venues without accommodation aren't exactly unusual - or at least (as with one of yours) venues which price a reasonable number of guests out of staying there. So the majority of your guests won't even think of it I doubt.

The nearest hotel also have weddings, we looked round there and they already have a wedding booked on the date we've provisionally chosen so not sure how much space they'll have left iykwim?

The main reason I'm put off by lack of accommodation is that for my wedding I can see myself stopping there the night before, having a relaxing day (I know I won't in reality) and a nice dinner with any family that are also stopping then getting married and just being able to walk upstairs to our bedroom, having some guests stopping in the same place and having breakfast with everyone. We'll also stop on another night if we can as we'll only get a weeks honeymoon due to childcare.

If they re a big hotel, then they will have some space left, I am sure. But if there is a reasonable amount of local accommodation, you don't even need to have a block reservation for people to use, just provide them with a list of local places, as long as you do it enough time before it will be fine.

If there is noe thing I have learned (the hard way) its not to tie yourself, and your plans, in knots worrying about what other people might want, think, say , do or have difficulty with! Your guests are grown ups and capable of finding places to stay, as long as you give guidance to that process then I'm sure it will be fine. Don't mean to lecture - but honestly, I have been exactly where you are, and got all of a tangle, and just stepping back and forgetting about all that for a minute can really help clarify things.

Just see your other reply!

I suppose then, it really comes down to deciding what are the complete deal breakers.

It soundsfrom what you've said that accommodation is now a must have which strikes one venue, and bar prices must be reasonable, which strikes another.

Are you certain these are the shortlist of 3?

If you have not found the right palce yet, could you expand the areas you are considering? If you are planning on having everything ready to chill out the day before and stay at the venue etc it doesn't need to be as close to home...

I've just been re-looking from old threads on here and from asking on facebook and I've found the Kilhey Hotel which looks really nice so I'm seeing if we can go and look around. Also got the brochure for Preston Marriott on the way. I think I'll add in another ?3 venues to look at then we'll see how we feel.

Think this is a good plan. I know what you are going through - I started with a list of hundreds of venues and ended up with a shortlist, and on first viewing none were spot on! it was an 'aslo ran' which was actually our ideal venue!

Look at local councils as well as the town you are in! H2B and I have trawled Bristol City Council's list of approved venues over and over again, finding nothing, we tried South Cloucestershire County Council..

We're off to have a look at Berwick Lodge on Saturday and it looks very, VERY promising! :-D

MrsStobe13 x

Maybe widen your search area a little (if possible) to see if there is somewhere else that fits your needs, since you know what concerns you need to give priority to, then a lot of the research can be done by internet/phone or email to discount places that do not offer what you like, then only visit the short listed ones.

Regards

L x

Have you had a look at Mitton Hall, Beeston Manor or West Tower? I'd say they are all in a similar league to Stanley House, all gorgeous venues although I'm not sure about drinks prices.

Hope you find something soon! ?

I had the same problem, and still keep thinking I wish I looked at a few more different places, Marriott hotel being one of them, although I do love our venue! We did look at quite a few.. Bartle hall, barton grange, mytton fold, leyland hotel, farington lodge. Been to a few wedding fayres locally too.

Which local hotel did you try? Wheres the nearest place to stay near fishermans retreat? If you really like it, can you not put a coach on to the hotel/b&b at the end of the night. X

West Tower is too expensive, I can't remember why Mitton Hall was discounted but it was, I'll double check though. Beeston Manor I've not heard of but will look at.

The nearest hotel to Fisherman's Retreat is Red Hall Hotel, quite nice but the rooms were oddly shaped which put us off!

Where are you getting married mummymrs2b?

I think we'll look round the Marriott Preston and maybe one or two others then decide. Not helped by the fact OH is away with work from Sunday for nearly a week

I was going to look at beeston manor but my friend said it was expensive. We are getting married at leyland hotel, more oh's choice as he likes the modern look of it. It was between here and Barton grange but oh wanted leyland hotel. When are you wanting to get married? I'd have a look at a few others, hopefully you will see something and love it x

We are also in the NW area and struggling to find a venue that we like within our price range... i would say make a list of importance 1. being the thing that your venue MUST have right down to what you are least bothered about ...i would then mark each venue with this system and the one that 'ticks most of the boxes' wins!

For us we wanted:

Saturday Summer wedding
Enough space for 80 day guests and 150 evening
Outside space/grounds
One wedding at a time (not necessarily exclusive but just no other wedding)
Good Reputation
Good Food
Accomodation on site or nearby
Within 30/40mins of our house
Some 'features' to the venue (e.g not a box room)
oh and of course within our budget!!

we have REALLY struggled to tick all the boxes in any venue to be honest and i think it's very difficult not to compromise on something whether it be lack of accomodation or the price of a pint!

what i would say is if you have only visited somewhere once go back again...you may notice something that you didn't the first time!
also i wouldn't stop looking for venues yet as you don't seem 100% convinced you have found the one!

We ruled about 12 venues out based on our check list after we had seen them and had a show around and i would imagine around 30-40 others based on their website (looks or prices etc) We loved a hotel nearby and it was very close to ticking all the boxes until we found some awful reviews on it (reputation was high up in our priorities!!) we visited it again recently for a wedding fayre and i have to say i was so dissapointed...the carpet was a mess (trodden in food or something?) a light that was out when we last went to see it (around 3 months ago!!) was still out in the main function room and the cloth they were serving welcome drinks on was covered in stains etc overall it looked like it needed a good clean and that was on a day they should have been showcasing their venue!! needless to say we have now crossed that one off too!!

After the wedding fayre we had a think about the venues we had already seen and realised that one we had ruled out due to our numbers being to high (we started off with much higher sit down numbers until we realised the costs ouch!!) overall we had loved the venue but felt it was too small for our numbers.....now that we have reduced our numbers we went to have another look and amazingly we loved it and they have now had another room licenced for the ceremony and we feel it would work really well for us (nothing booked yet still!!) so it just shows that it is worth looking at something for a second time whether it be to rule it out or confirm it as a venue!

This venue we like now does not have any accomodation but ticks every other box, there are a few B&B's nearby that if we book we would look into paying for all the bedrooms and selling back to close family and then suggest other nearby accomodation for others!

I have been to a wedding at bartle hall and it was very nice, only went to the evening but the food was yummy and the room was lovely etc (although looked a little bare with their numbers!) their is a premier inn right near there for guests who aren't close family (who i'd imagine will be staying in the hotel)...

I have never been to stanley house but didn't bother to contact them as everything on their website said 'price on request' which to me screams expensive!!! i agree that £4+ for a pint is a little steep but then it depends how much the venue ticks your other boxes! ...

and i also sent off for info on fisherman's retreat...i thought the venue looked lovely but their better room (the one with the window) couldn't be used in the evening unless you paid something silly like £5000 extra with no explanation to why really (only thing i can think is hire of a dancefloor and bar?) also didn't like that they included their 'wedding planner to help with the day' the 'use of the grounds for photographs' and 'white table linen' into their drinks package price (£20 total) personally that should be included in the price of your room hire at £1500!! but again v.minor!

chances are you are going to find a venue that is perfect for you but this doesn't mean that it has every single tiny thing that you were originally looking for in a venue...just decide whats most important and go from there!

Sorry for rambling on! x

We looked at Barton Grange but just didn't feel completely happy there.

We're hoping for next spring, pretty much a year to date.

Beeston Manor looks nice, just asked for wedding brochure.