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Beginner September 2017

I hate weddings

LuxuriousGreenCakes874, 20 July, 2017 at 15:34 Posted on Planning 0 7

Alright, so I have a problem. I hate weddings. I've never enjoyed going to them because of the romance and the public displays of affection, and the dressing up. I don't even like cake. The problem with this is, I am getting married to my boyfriend in a couple of months. My boyfriend, who I swear, has more expectations of this wedding than I do.

I've never been a very feminine female. I grew up playing in the dirt and trees, scuffing up my knees at the skate park, and playing any video game I could get my hands on for hours. Now that I'm 23, not much has changed. I may not play in the dirt anymore, but I still play more video games than your average teenage boy when the new Call of Duty game comes out. I'm even a year away from graduating college with a degree in video game design. Needless to say, I am still not feminine.

I am proud to say I haven't worn a dress in 4 years, and I'm not about to start getting in one now. The problem here is, what do I wear, without subjugating myself to a dress, but also without wearing the same thing as my boyfriend? I'm a huge tomboy, but I'm not trying to look like I just came out of the butch lumberjack store.

My other concern is what to do about the actual wedding. I don't want some long speeches about love and blah blah blah. I'm not a romantic type, especially in front of people. It's uncomfortable and I kind of hate it. That being said, I still want it to be memorable for my boyfriend and I and I don't want to regret not doing something I should have when I'm looking back on that day.

My final issue... what do you do when you don't like cake? Do you smoosh pudding into each others faces?

Wedding planning is the worst. I need so major advice.

7 replies

Latest activity by Sorbet, 29 July, 2017 at 20:07
  • MetalBride
    Beginner April 2018
    MetalBride ·
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    First think about the type of outfits you feel comfortable in and how you could make them more 'weddingy', then discuss how uncomfortable you are with your boyfriend and see what compromises you can come up with.

    Good luck x

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  • MetalBride
    Beginner April 2018
    MetalBride ·
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    Oh if you don't like cake cut something else, my friend cut a huge wheel of cheese! Or cut a cake and don't eat it. Or don't have a cake at all, it's your wedding do what makes both of you happy.

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  • C
    Beginner January 2017
    cattyjess ·
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    I didn't want a lot of the traditions for our wedding. I am still wearing a dress but decided I didn't want a cake or speeches. So we're not having them. I just used told people by word of mouth that we want to spend more time catching up with friends and family as we don't get to see each other much. The wedding is in 3 days so I'll let you know how it goes!

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  • R
    Beginner June 2018
    RomanticRedFlowers886 ·
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    What else do you have planned? If it's not the usual I want to hear about it as we're going non-traditional! :-)

    A really smart trouser suit in whatever colour you want could work, maybe one that's styled like a dinner jacket or military style? Maybe your OH could have a similar style in black or grey? Wear a video game inspired top with it - that could be very cool.

    As for speeches - just don't have them. Or just you and your OH give short speeches thanking people etc. You could pick a couple of poems for the best man if he's desperate to speak so he can't go off piste... there are funny ones out there that are not sappy.

    And get cheese, or a big pie, instead of cake! :-) I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago where there was no cake cutting, no first dance, don't think anyone noticed (there was a lot of free booze...)!

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  • A
    Beginner November 2016
    Annaangeluk2016 ·
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    Have what you want!! Simple!! Not to sound blasé but weddings can be what you make them!

    For our afternoon reception instead of wedding cake we had 3 tiers of amazing cheesecakes made for us by a very talented friend! She'd decorated them beautifully with fresh fruit and edible flowers and they looked incredible! For the evening we did have a "traditional" wedding cake that no one noticed so we didn't get one photo of as we had 5 tiers of cheese and a huuuge pork pie that had our names and the wedding date on! Hundreds of photos of those from guests! As for the smooshing - I personally hate that! It seems to be an American thing!! We just cut our cheesecakes, had photos then sat down while it was served up as dessert! No smooshing involved! I paid a lot for my make up doing I'd have been pretty p*ssed off if it got ruined with cake ?

    We had two speeches - one from hubby to thank everyone, mention family that had passed away etc. No romantic mushy speeches that is mortifying for everyone! Second was from my husband's adult son/best man - this was the A-Z of his Dad! Absolutely hilarious! Mentioning things like W - for Wheelie bin and telling the tale of the drunken night he fell over it! Lots of funny anecdotes, mentioned me and my daughter etc so it was lovely but nothing cheesy or soppy!

    As for your outfit, wear what you want!! I can't remember where I saw it but online I saw a beautiful tailored cream satin jumpsuit that was a bit tuxedo like. It was stunning! Looked surprisingly wedding-y but not traditional. I get what you mean about the butch lumberjack look! This was definitely not butch but very striking. As mentioned previously, trouser suits, or jumpsuits look great. How do you feel about a skirt if a dress is a no no? Some nice mid length skirts with crop tops look pretty funky too! Just to play devil's advocate have you actually tried a wedding dress on? Who knows, you might surprise yourself!! Just do some research for non traditional bride and see what you're drawn to!

    Good luck and remember it's your day too! Don't feel you have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable!

    Anna x

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  • Chapples
    Beginner June 2017
    Chapples ·
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    Your wedding can totally be what you make it - who says you have to conform to the usual rules & regulations if it's not what you want to do?

    I've seen some amazing jumpsuit / trouser suits for brides - I just googled this - maybe it's still a bit lacy / bridal - but wear whatever you'll feel good in!:

    https://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/phase-eight-cortine-lace-jumpsuit/d775567.pd#257009706&_$ja=tsid:44970|cid:207135955|agid:10144314235|tid:pla-303444931119|crid:204393692335|nw:g|rnd:3926341567790476367|dvc:c|adp:1o3|mt:

    Some of these are a bit loopy, but there's defo stuff out there:

    https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/bridalwear-articles/wedding-jumpsuits_955.htm

    What about a massive tower of cheese instead of cake? I didn't smoosh our cake either!

    And if you don't want to do flowers, romantic readings etc, don't feel pressured! There's a lot of non-mushy stuff out there though that you might find suits you down to the ground!

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  • H
    Rockstar June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    So happy to read that someone else also hates weddings and all things wedding related! When we finally get round to getting married I just want the 2 of us to go to a registry office, grab a couple of witnesses off the street then ask our families to meet us for dinner then tell them at the meal that we got married. Doing this because we can't be bothered with speeches and also don't want our families (who also hate weddings!) to feel like they have to splash out on new outfits, gifts etc on us. No bridesmaids, best man, speeches, flowers or any of the other expenses. I'll probably buy a second hand bridesmaid type dress to wear. Have you thought about a humanist ceremony? I've been to 2 humanist ceremonies now and they are lovely and more about the couple themselves than mushy, lovey dovey crap. Is there any kind of cake you like? I hate fruit cake but love sponge cake and chocolate cake. What about battenburg cake or cup cakes? Or Tunnocks tea cakes? I've seen that at weddings and it looks great!

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  • S
    Beginner September 2017
    Sorbet ·
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    Nost girls climed trees, played in mud and such I dont think thats relates to weddings at all... I did all those things and love weddings lol

    HOWEVER do what ever you want with in fair reason (by that I mean dont deliberatly treat guests badly but you dont need to do things just because others do)

    • wedding jumpsuits are a pretty haute courture right now, like these
    • you dont need to do speaches or overt gushy things... we arent either
    • try alternatives to cake like cheese, pizza, donut or pie towers, try here for insparation

    try looking for alternative ideas, there are lots of different weddings now and many brides have videogame themed weddings so that might interest you if your a big gamer... just try playing with google, type in things you like then add weddings such as 'gamer wedding' or 'skater wedding'

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