I thought when I joined Hitched a year ago the day would NEVER come that I would be writing this, but here I am 15 days after becoming an OM ready to share my day in all it's sun-shiny glory!
The beginning!
Mr Icklefee and I met in 2008 through mutual friends. We knew of each other before but as we were both in relationships with people from different social circles we'd never actually met. We both split with ex's in 2007 (his was a work colleague of mine) and I was a single mother to two little boys aged 2 and 1. We started going out regularly with our mutual friends and gradually started becoming friends ourselves over the months. During that time I had a rather ill-advised "relationship" with a much younger work colleague. It was while on a work night out that the future Mr Icklefee had tagged along on that I got incredibly drunk and did the whole crying in the toilets about how things were going nowhere that our mutual friend pointed out that I was completely throwing away the chance of being with someone who clearly adored me while chasing after this young lad who just wanted some fun. The penny started to drop.
We started texting and chatting on facebook and a few weeks later, 3rd May 2008, we were out celebrating a birthday and it happened. We kissed. We've been together ever since.
Taken shortly before the kiss!
6 months later this happened!
9 months later, 5th August 2009, our baby boy Jacob was born. Our beautiful little family was complete.
Fast forward to 3rd May 2011, our 3 year anniversary and we officially got engaged. There was nothing particularly romantic in the proposal. In fact, there wasn't really one. We decided we wanted to get married but with 3 children all still under school age and having to pay ridiculous childcare fees while we both worked saving for a wedding wasn't going to be easy. The very frugal Mr Icklefee had share save schemes at work due to mature over the next few years so we decided to get engaged and set the date for our 6 year anniversary, 3rd May 2014. We bought a ring, we made the announcement and that was about it until last March when we realised that if we wanted it to happen we really had to start making arrangements. We decided quite quickly we needed somewhere child friendly, not overly grand, a relaxed atmosphere... so we booked this:
The Hunsbury Hill Centre in Northampton.
I decided after joining Hitched that I wanted to be one of those brides who proudly showed off their DIY wedding stuff and so began a year of this:
You get the idea!
With all these craft projects, a full time job, 3 children and hitched/facebook to keep me busy the year of planning flew by. Where other brides were saying " I wish it would hurry up" I wanted time to slow down!
Since life seems to be permanently on fast forward for me we'll head straight to 1st May 2014!
Thursday 1st May 2014
This is the first day Mr Icklefee and I have off work. We drop the children at school and head to town to collect the suits, last minute gifts and a few honeymoon bits. I then head off to the beauty salon for the oh so glamorous waxing, tinting etc. I meet Mr Icklefee afterwards and you can see him recoil in horror at my bright red top lip and eyebrows. I have only just recovered from a mouth abcess that made me look like the elephant man. We head home to await delivery of a cake stand that I'd ordered last minute realising I had nothing to display my cupcakes on! We then get a phonecall. The mother and my Bridesmaid have arrived at the train station having travelled down from Glasgow. The excitement starts to set in. Mr Icklefee does his duty and pops off to collect them. Copious amounts of tea and coffee are drunk and biscuits eaten. The children are collected from school and the excitement levels rise further when they realise Granny and S are here! My nail lady arrives to sort our talons out and the first bottle of bubbly is opened. Unfortunately as I am still on antibiotics for the abcess I cannot partake but the mother and S assure me it was lovely!
That evening we have chinese, run through the plans for tomorrow and I show off all my DIY to them, as well as my dress which neither had seen in the flesh. The mother and S then go to my dads flat where they are staying that night before Mr Icklefee and I go to bed together for the last time as an unmarried couple.
Friday 2nd May 2014
It's the day before the wedding. There isn't actually a huge amount left to do. The children are dropped at school once more and Mr Icklefee and I head off to the venue to drop everything off. The best man comes round to collect the suits and my veil that his OH is going to steam for me. I then get a call from one of my oldest friends to say she and her husband have just arrived in town and can they pop in and say a quick hello before they check into their hotel at 2pm. They arrive at noon, my mum and S arrive, we have lunch... before we know it it's time for the school run again! Oldest friend and husband, mother and S, 3 boys, myself, Mr Icklefee all in the house and dad arrives home from work. Next phone call, my sister, her fiance and 3 children have just arrived in town, can they come and say hello before checking into the hotel! Then Grandad, aunt, uncle and cousin arrive at the train station... maybe they'll just pop in and say hello before going to the hotel!!! Mr Icklefee decides this is when he should retreat to the safety of the best man's house. He's a smart man!!
It's now 6pm. My house is full to bursting. My best woman, the best man's fiance, my 3 flower girls and my other closest friend, all of whom I'd arranged to spend the evening with arrive. Even when the relatives have departed I still have a house of 13 people! We have nibbles, we have champagne, we have foot massages and toenail painting and then I'm presented with this by my best woman:
A scrapbook she has made of mine and Mr Icklefee's journey so far. We now have tears.
As there are lots of young children who are now bouncing off the walls everyone departs at 9.30pm leaving just me, S and my 3 boys. The children are quickly sorted for bed while S and I enjoy some much needed peace and quiet! We decide against opening another bottle and settle for a cuppa and a mr kipling's french fancy before heading to bed at 11pm. We lie chatting for a while and laughing about how this takes us back 30 years to childhood sleepovers, only this time we don't have my mother telling us to be quiet and go to sleep. We both drop off quite quickly and to my complete surprise, despite suffering with insomnia for 20 years, the next time I see the clock is 6.29am!
Saturday 3rd May 2014 - MY WEDDING DAY!!!!
Usually my children are my alarm clock, quite often as early as 5am, but they are all still in the land of nod thanks to the late night they had. S is also still asleep so I make my way downstairs for some time alone with a cuppa ( I do love my tea). I can see without opening the curtains that there is a strange glowing orb in the sky. Something I really hadn't expected to see! I took my tea into the garden and although it was chilly the sky was, indeed, clear blue with beautiful sunshine. For the last 6 years 3rd May had always been gloriously sunny as Mr Icklefee and I had always celebrated our anniversary in the pub garden. The weather forecast for this 3rd May hadn't been great but my faith in the day when we'd booked our wedding had paid off.
I decided it was time to start ironing the boys shirts. I don't usually do the ironing and Mr Icklefee hadn't told me that the iron spurts nasty brown gunk out when it's switched on. All down #1 son's crisp white shirt. It's ok, my washing machine has a fast cycle, we have a tumble drier. I don't panic. This is most unlike me.
7.30am #2 child is first to wake. Usually when one wakes, they all do but no, he creeps down stairs and we sit eating toast in the garden again, with more tea. I leave him watching tv while I go for a bath and wash my hair. Still child #1 and #3 are asleep, as is S. I dry my hair which wakes the boys and they come down for breakfast. I then take a cup of tea for S but she continues to sleep. At 9am I had to wake her as the hairdresser was coming just after 10. She can't believe that not only has she slept this late but that I didn't wake her earlier. Why am I so calm?
My mum and dad arrive. Mum is a bag of nerves, dad seems relatively calm and goes off to collect my niece who is one of my flower girls. The hairdresser arrives and does S's hair first, then mum's. While this is happening I'm bathing the boys. The best man then arrives with these from my husband to be
Best woman, Best man's fiance and my other 3 flower girls arrive and hair and make-up is done. It's just after 1pm and we're all done. I'm still calm. Everyone else is starting to flap slightly but I'm ok. We start getting the girls dressed. The camper vans are due to arrive at 2.15pm. My mother becomes temporarily useless on seeing my niece in her dress. The way she went to pieces you'd have thought my niece was the bride!! I tell her she needs to sort herself out and help me dress the boys. It seems to take forever but now they just need their shoes. Hmmm, their shoes. Where are they? It's ok, don't panic. They can't just disappear. But they have. All 3 pairs. Think icklefee. I realise for some bizarre reason I had lined them all up on my bedroom windowsill but as the curtains were still shut I hadn't seen them. I look at the clock. I appear to be the only one still capable of reading it - it's 1.50pm!!!! S, Best Woman and I need to get dressed!! We dash upstairs and only a moment later Best man's fiance appears (eyes firmly shut as she doesn't want to see my dress until I'm in it) to announce Filly and Flossy the camper vans have arrived! I didn't even have time to look at myself in the mirror! Another brief panic when I can't find my front door key and a near miss with the flower girl wands I hadn't handed out!. Mum, youngest flower girl and best man's fiance are sent off in their car and we're ready to leave.
I don't have the traditional "father's first glimpse of daughter in her dress" photo. In all honesty, he didn't look up from whatever he was watching on tv. We had the music channel on so I suspect it was Beyonce or some equally well developed young lady who had his attention. My family aren't incredibly emotional so I didn't expect much anyway. Besides, our TOG hadn't been asked to do bridal prep as we knew it would be too chaotic with so many in the house. My boys thought mummy looked like a princess anyway.
and I'm sure Dad did too
and then we were off......
The journey to the venue took around 20 minutes. S, Best woman and the 3 older flower girls travelled in one van and I travelled with dad and my 3 boys. Traffic flow around town is always heavy on a Saturday, even more so on a sunny weekend when you have to pass several retails parks (think first day of summer and heading to B&Q!), horns tooted and people waved and cheered as we passed. Dad and I enjoyed a bottle of champagne and while the boys enjoyed feeling like celebrities. The sun beamed through the windows, the Beach Boys sang away in the background and we just soaked it all up. We pulled into the long driveway of the venue to spot that the girls' van had pulled up and the venue co-ordinator came running over signalling for us to back up slightly as all my guests were still milling around in the outside bar area in the sunshine and groom was just finishing with the registrar. I could see familiar figures down on the lawn and the TOG running towards me. This was the only point in the day that I felt mildly nervous. I hadn't spoken to him since I'd threatened to sack him two weeks before but he simply threw open the doors to the van and started snapping away, fussing over the boys, telling me I looked amazing, how beautiful the venue looked, how handsome the boys were.... everything was going to be fine. I see the girls get out of the van and the signal is given that the coast is clear for me to go in to see the registrar. The champagne has caused a bit of a haze but S leads all the children (she has 7 of them to cope with alone!) as dad and I go inside. From the moment we meet the registrar I know this will be no ordinary ceremony. The woman is hilarious. Stand-up comedy hilarious. First thing she asks is if my dad is a true Scotsman. I beg him not to prove it. She then asks the usual questions but as she asks if I am entering into the marriage of my own free will and did I not want to have a think as she's seen some good looking single men going in. She then puts on a very straight and stern face and says "now, the most important question. Where on earth did you get that amazing bouquet??!". She wishes me luck and leaves to go down to the high barn and the co-ordinator leads us outside to where the rest of the bridal party are playing in the sunshine. The photographer is there and some more pictures are taken
Then we're ready to go inside. Unbeknown to me we are actually 15 minutes late despite arriving 15 minutes before the ceremony. I knew what time we arrived and was actually panicking about having to hang around. I just wanted to do this!!
We have a small staircase to get down inside the barn. Standing in the foyer the co-ordinator asks if I am ready. I nod and he goes into the room. The vitamin string quartet cd fades, I hear everyone inside the room go silent and then the first notes of The Goo Goo Dolls "Iris" begin. S leads the smallest flower girl in, there is a short pause, child #3 and 2nd flower girl start their walk. Another pause. Child #2 and my niece enter the room. Deep breath now. Child #1 and the eldest flower girl are on there way. All 8 have now made it to the bottom of the stairs without falling. Dad has a firm grip of my arm, we look at each other and he says "just take your time and enjoy your moment". I think the tears may start at this point but as we enter the room and I'm standing at the top of the stair case looking at all the faces who have turned to see me I just smile. The biggest, cheesiest smile you could ever imagine and we walk. In fact, I think I may have floated. I try to make eye contact with everyone I possibly can but my smile seems to have the opposite effect and there are tears and sniffles from every row I walk past. The aisle wasn't particularly long but it did take the entire chorus of the song to get down and some of the instrumental part too. I suspect I may have milked my moment somewhat and dawdled slightly.
Dad and S had discussed earlier who would lift my veil at the end of the aisle as I had told Mr Icklefee he wouldn't need to as I wouldn't be wearing it over my face. Whoever was meant to do it forgot and the first half of the ceremony the was spent peering through it. I had visions of having to do the kiss with it over my face. My dad said his "I do" before taking his seat and the registrar did the introductions. It was then time for Best Woman to do her reading. We had chosen "Partners" by Patience Strong as it summed us up to a T.
The first dance of all when they danced heart to heart
They knew, they both knew, it was only the start
Of something more wonderful that a mere dance
More than a thrill of a passing romance.
They knew without saying the Love, the real thing
Had touched them that night with its shimmering wing.
No word had been spoken and yet they both knew
That suddenly all sorts of dreams had come true.
It's many a year since the night that they met
But that first dance they will never forget
Then a boy and a girl and now a husband and wife
Still happy, still dancing and partners for life.
She blubbed her way through it, every time she though she'd composed herself we made eye contact and she was off again. You would think this would make me cry, but no, I stood and laughed (a very nervous "if I don't laugh I'll be a snotty mess" kind of laugh) but I laughed all the same.
It was then time for our vows. Mr Icklefee said his first line loud and clear. The registrar stopped him " Mr Icklefee, you are a very handsome man, but I am married so could you please look at Icklefee and not me as you say your vows". We all howled with laughter.
At this short pause my veil got lifted, Mr Icklefee tells me I told him to do it while the hilarity was dying down. The vows were then said facing the right direction this time and then child #2 did his reading. He hadn't had much practise as up until the week before child #1 was meant to be doing it but child #1 took stage fright and #2 was easily bribed with the promise of a trip to Toysrus. He did a sterling job but I'm ashamed to say that while I was lovingly mounting a copy of Best Woman's reading on kraft card to match the rest of our stationary I totally forgot to do the same with child #2's
My advice @ Unknown
Mum and Justin get married today
I’d like to help them on their way
So here’s some special advice from me
To help them with our family
Keep our house filled with laughter
Let’s have fun forever after
Keep the drawer filled up with sweets
And give us children lots of treats
Make sure you spend time together
To keep your happiness forever
Make sure you spend lots on us
And then us kids won’t make a fuss
But the most important thing for you
Is to show your love in all you do
A caring word, a kiss, a touch
And those family cuddles that mean so much
I did very nearly lose it at the moment. I was so incredibly proud of my beautiful son for standing in front of all those people. He received a huge round of applause and he beamed.
Now it was time for the exchange of rings and the kiss!! We had been practising the kiss (as you do) and had had some comedy moments each time child #3 walked into the room, ranging from "eeeeeeewwwwwwww you kissed a girl!!!" to full on throwing himself on the floor in horror. He contained himself rather well on the actual day....
only a slight look of horror!
And that was it. We were declared husband and wife. It seemed totally surreal. How had this actually happened?!
We signed the register to "Time of your life" by Green Day and "Somewhere only know" by Keane. And we smiled. We just couldn't stop smiling. The very first photograph I saw after the wedding was this next one and it truly sums up the mood of the entire day for me
. With all the legal stuff over it was time to enjoy the glorious sunshine. But not before another kiss (and gratuitous shoe flash!)
and we walked (or floated) out of the room to "Kiss me" by Sixpence none the Richer.
The formal photographs were done very quickly. Our Tog really came into his own here getting everyone rounded up for the rent-a-crowd shots. Since my report is already very flash-heavy I might as well throw in a couple of my favourites for good measure
Then is was the surprise of the day for me. Some of you may remember my issue with my TOG was that he couldn't possibly fit a drive in the camper vans into the schedule... well he did! He announced to the guests that the bar was open, go and mingle as Mr & Mrs Icklefee were going for a much needed break. Our VOGs jumped into the first van and we and the TOG were in the second as we headed off to Delapre Abbey
Everyone tells you to take time out just the two of you on the day to let it sink in and spend some much needed time together. This is by far the best advise I have been given and is advice I will wholeheartedly give future brides. Not only did we get some of our best photographs it was just lovely to be able to share the excitement in the moment.
There was more champagne.......
more kissing......
and yet more kissing.......
more gratuitous shoe shots.....
and the must-have back of the dress shot on the way back to the venue!
We had about twenty minutes to mingle and have a few more pictures done before it was time to head inside for the speeches and afternoon tea. The venue co-ordinator took me in briefly before the guests to show me how it looked. I was more nervous about this than anything as it was the culmination of my year of hard work putting it all together. What if it looked awful?
I then told my son's how incredibly handsome they are, how proud they make me every day. The emotions are getting too much at this point and I know if I am going to get through the next part I need to get on with it.
" And finally, My husband. You took me on 6 years ago as a single mother. You have loved and supported us every day since. You stand by me in every decision I make, even when my decision is to paint the kitchen pink. You've held my hand, you've wiped my tears. You treat me like a princess. You are my knight in shining armour and my prince charming. Proof that once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale. To Mr Icklefee"
Apparently I spoke for longer than the 3 men put together. Does this surprise anyone?
Afternoon tea was served. Even though I wasn't particularly hungry I have never been one to turn down cake. I had been sticking religiously to slimming world for the 4 months leading up to the wedding and hit my target the week before. I was like a kid in a sweetshop! Every one of them was delicious. Our guests all commented on how lovely the food was and just how much of it there was. S requested a doggy bag with the left overs which probably would have catered for another whole wedding reception but we forgot to take it home.
As we had been for the drive in the camper vans the original schedule was out by about half an hour and there wasn't much time to sit around after the meal as the band had arrived to set up. This suited the children as they had already spotted the bouncy castle being inflated. We all headed outside for the room to be turned around. Adults headed towards the bar, children made a beeline for the candy cart and bouncy castle.... as did I!
Our evening guests were arriving by this point and Mr Icklefee and I attempted to speak to as many of them as possible. Unfortunately it seemed the only way to do this was for him to head off towards his guests and me towards mine. We then heard the band starting to warm up and I spotted the flower girls heading for the dance floor. I take pride in always being the first one up and last one to leave the dance floor so I wasn't going to be outdone by my girls!
Guests are all starting to make their way inside by this point the band announce that we are going to cut the cake.
My cake had been a pretty last minute change of plan. Originally I wanted a birdcage cake and cupcakes but then found a cake that reminded me of my dress and had to have it. It also gave me a reason to buy some of kharv's amazing cake toppers!
The lead singer of the band then asks for a round of applause for the newly weds (that's us!!!!) and call us onto the dance floor for the first dance. There was only one song that both Mr Icklefee and I had agreed on in the long list of possible first dance songs. His suggestions had ranged from Aerosmith to Enrique (seriously!) whereas I was set on Guns n Roses or Green Day. Jason Mraz "I'm Yours" stood out as being totally different to all the other suggestions and actually much more "us". The band did an absolutely fabulous version which can be heard here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5H0l-Shb8Z4
you can also admire our dance moves!
I couldn't even have told you there were nearly 150 pairs of eyes watching us, a photographer and two VOGS following our every move. It was just us and the band. We twirled, we hugged, we kissed, we sang. We didn't take our eyes off each other. My best woman still can't watch it without crying and I don't imagine I'll ever get sick of watching it. That video is Mr Icklefee and I in a nutshell. I'll remind you once again of the reading. This is why it was so appropriate.
The first dance of all when they danced heart to heart
They knew, they both knew, it was only the start
Of something more wonderful that a mere dance
More than a thrill of a passing romance.
They knew without saying the Love, the real thing
Had touched them that night with its shimmering wing.
No word had been spoken and yet they both knew
That suddenly all sorts of dreams had come true.
It's many a year since the night that they met
But that first dance they will never forget
Then a boy and a girl and now a husband and wife
Still happy, still dancing and partners for life.
And so the rest of the evening continued in a blur of dancing and general merriment surrounded by those we love most in the world. All too soon the bouncy castle was deflated, last orders were called, the band stopped playing (but not before an absolutely amazing rendition of Mr Brightside) and we were surrounded by all our family and friends for the final dance of the evening. Loch Lomond. My English guests embraced it, my Scottish guests were overjoyed that, despite my 11 years south of the border, I'll always be a wee lass fae Glasgow at heart. It was truly magical.
Thank you all for reading my totally self-indulgent report and also for your advice and support during the planning process. I could have said "I do" without you, but it certainly wouldn't have been the same!
The End................
but not quite... a couple of the detail shots we all love on Hitched!
