If you met today, would you still marry / be with your partner?

sorry to be so blunt but does that mean that his "girlfriend" has dumped him?

I feel a bit ? at all your hugs and kind words, I really appreciate the support. ?

Sending a massive ? to everyone who isn't as happy as you should be. You are all lovely people and seeing you all being loved and cherished would be wonderful.

We were the same, although if we had met 5 years earlier it would never have worked (I know this because we did meet 5 years earlier ?). I think I had to go through some rubbish and sort my head out to appreciate exactly what was available in MrH.

Hugs to Mrs M and those who need them.

She's still with her boyfriend having had a fling with his other best friend.

I'm still highly doubtful of his claims that he misses what we had, but I'll hear him out at least.

Bless you MrsM, I hope you're ok. ?

MrA and I first met when I was15. We had one disasterous date when I was 17 and decided to leave it as mates, but when I moved away, we gradually lost touch.

When we got back together we fell for each other pretty much instantly and he proposed 8 days later and we were married within 11 months. This year is our 5th wedding anniversary and whilst generally things are fine, there have been times, esp during a difficult pregnancy and the stress of twins in SCBU when I thought I'd made a dreadful mistake.

Last year was hard as I wasn't earning (still am not) and he felt a pressure to provide financially and help with the twins as I was coping with PND which I refused to get treated. As things have improved, we have both made conscious effort to be nicer to each other and we get on better. Also as the runts have got bigger and sturdier and into a routine, the whole household runs better and we're all happier and more relaxed as a result.

I am hard to live with and fully accept this. He has his moments as well. There are a few issues around his family that I have a great difficulty with and he and I are generally at opposite ends of the political spectrum. If we met today, I expect we would still get it on - he's still smart, funny, sexy, kind and generous, but I suspect I'd be less hasty in getting married.

We have been together for 19 years this year (we're only 36!) and are having a tricky patch but it's certainly a yes from me. I could have almost written JK's post (including the fat redhead bit ?) and if I met him now I know that I'd fancy the pants off of him. Two kids and the mundane bits of life together can sometimes make that hard to see, but overall, yes.

Its hard to say as there is someone else I would be married to if I wasn't married to H, and if I hadn't met H when I did then I would have fallen in love with this bloke and be with him now, so wouldn't have got together with H.

I'm not sure that makes any sense at all.

I'm not sure we would have met as we have both moved on to different interests (in our yoof we shared passion for particular music scene).

But if we did meet I do think we would get together , I still have a cheeky look at him sometimes and think "you're bloody gorgeous".

I'd like to think so yes, although we met through work members of our families (his mum and gran and my gran) have known each other since we were tiny so there was always the chance we'd meet. We no longer work together (haven't done for about 7.5 yrs) but once we got together, life changed very rapidly!

I love him to pieces and the comments of sighs of relief and similar are just so true for us both I think! I can be a total pain in the wotsit on occasion thanks to the joys of hormones and that's the one thing that I think if he knew about it would possibly change the situation for him.

Nah. She's an opinionated fat redhead.?

Actually, by a bizarre coincidence I was retrieving some old emails from a knackered hard drive over the weekend, and found a fair chunk of the ones that JK and I sent each other way back in July 2001 after we "met" online but before we met in person. And what was really amazing was that neither of us told any serious lies (mild exaggerations at most, and usually not even that), and you would all absolutely recognise her personality even back then - it stuck out a mile even before she got thoroughly depraved and corrupted by Hitched.

I doubt it. I think the circumstances we met under were unique to where we were at the time and it's unlikely that we'd have got together as we are now, which doesn't mean we don't have a lot in comon and have pretty similar ambitions. I suspect that if I were to look for someone now, they would be very different in a lot of respects to him - more political, more socially active, less likely to stay out all night. But at the same time, in a lot of important respects he fulfils what I need and want, and has improved over time - we get on well, he's a great father, he's much less grumpy, he's often very thoughtful and he's a pretty good partner in the sense of pulling his weight and mostly similar outlooks.

Ultimately though - he lied to me early on in our relationship, but I didn't find out until it was too late to get out easily - if he'd told me the truth from the start we'd never have stayed together and that will always taint everything. If I could have him without that lie and without the lack of trust that brings he'd probably be pretty ideal.

Yes despite not having ANY clue how hard it would be when we got together, if i met him now and knew all the *** that was to come, i am certain that I would still marry him (and his kids)

Same here. We met and briefly dated about 4 years before we got together for good. There was not a chance that our earlier dating was going to turn into anything long-term. I'd not long come out of a volatile 6 year on-off relationship and my head was all over the place. Although there was a clear (well to me anyway) physical attraction, I just couldn't see me settling down with one person at that time.

When we met again a few years later our relationship progressed very quickly (although we waited 6 years to get married).

Over the years my H has mellowed me and I think (hope) molded me into a nicer person - not by doing anything specific, just by his very nature. My H has had some tough times over the years (his Dad passing away, and his Mum and Sister's significant health problems) and i'm in awe at how he's coped. So if we met today, yes i'd still marry him.

Yes, without a doubt. he's the kindness most interesting man i've ever met. goodness knows why he chose me.

Yes. I was 37 when we met, and there is a part of me that wishes we had collided earlier.....but then I think it was the right time in our respective "journeying". The psychological and physical attraction is still intense-perhaps even more intense.

<slap>

Because you're stunningly gorgeous, clever, and kind. Who'd not chose you?

I'd bag you in a flash ?

Yes, assuming we'd still met I think we would. We adore each other and I don't think either of us can imagine finding anyone more perfect to spend our lives with.

If we met now, we probably would end up together. If we had met two or three years before, or even longer, theres no way we would have ended up together! We're both sure of that - we just wouldn't have gotten on. But we both mellowed and changed slightly, and met probably at the right time.

WSS - and she's never even met MrKJX!

What Zeb said. Whilst Mr Fox is indeed a catch, you are not exactly a bad deal yourself ?

I can't say for sure

We still have all the same things in common, and enjoy the same things, so I would still want to be with him, but now I know how hard it is being married to someone with differering opinion on religous matters, it would be a close call

Same here. We first met at school and got together when we were 18, it lasted 2 years. i think we were both far too young to be in a serious relationship. We met up again 6 years later. So yes, i think we would still get together if we met now. Both times were a blind date (sort of) set up, so don't know where we would have a chance of meeting.

No. However, I'm rapidly concluding that I'm not really the settling kind, and MrM is probably as close as I was ever going to get, which is unbearably sad. Anyway, that's another thread.

I've spent most of the last few weeks on planes, trains, buses, nuclear bunkers, and, to top it off, a waste recycling plant. Also my blackberry has decided it doesn't like hitched anymore (has the format changed?), hence my absence. I have clearly got some threads to catch up on, and I am feeling like a bad friend. Hugs to all that need them, and the promise of catch up mails over the next day or too. xxx

Hum. Would I be attracted to him? I'd be attracted to the him he is now, but I know that without my influence he'd have a terrible viking beard and would be head to toe in ill thought-out tattoos ?. Even then, though...yes, I think I'd fancy him and we have a lovely relaxed, effortless chemistry.

Would I marry him? No - but that's because I'm pretty sure that I'd have married someone else by then, and probably started a family too. It was something I just needed to do and while it would certainly matter who it was with, I think I'd have found somebody else who fitted the bill. I don't know if I would be as happy as I am now though.

Yes I would marry him in an instant. I actually love him even more than I did in the beginning.

The start of our relationship was very intense and we had brought a property together within months.

Mr MF was married when we met, I was not the cause of their break up, but to the outside world it looked like I was, I think many people were wary of our relationship and Mr MF's intentions towards me, i think many people thought i was his midlife crisis (he's 17 years older than me) This is our 6th year of being together and we are both extremely happy with each other and our lives.

I never knew someone could be so supportive of me and it highlight just how badly i had been treated in previous relationships. There is nothing he wouldn't do for me, he often has to be my nurse, but in the next minute he is back to be being my husband and best friend, and he says he still finds me attractive.

Mrs M ?

Thanks again everyone. ?

MF, thank you. ? You and Mr MF are one of the best couples I've ever had the pleasure to meet. He is devoted to you and I'm so pleased you have found each other. You just "work" and I think that's fab.

Mrs M, (won't quote you)

It has taken a lot of time and work on both sides for Mr MF and I to get where we are. He has always wanted to look after me even before I became ill this time around. It's the type of person he is. He is the most patient person I have ever known and very very rarely loses his temper- but that's just him, the way he has always been. We work as a team and as soon as either of us stop thinking about the other, cracks can start to appear.

All relationships take effort on both sides, one person alone (I don't think) can make a relationship a happy and secure thing.

All my love to you x

It's quite a hard one to answer because without each other we wouldn't be doing the things we're doing (so, working 24/7, that kind of thing ?). I guess I would be an accountant and he would be a more senior bank manager. What an exciting couple we would make!
I think if I met them today, at a party, I would be more likely to 'connect' with husband number one on a superficial level, and make the same mistake over again. Which is not to say I in some way preferred him, but we simply had a lot in common, whereas H and I are very different. If we could manage to get to know each other, we would click

L
xx

Now this will sound incredibly corny but I feel that H is a person who I was meant to meet, our paths crossed at loads of points in our lives before we actually met through a mutual hobby and if we hadn't met there we would have met later. I think that we would both be the sameish people had we never met until now but I fear that he might have been snapped up and I would have to steal him away.?

Absolutely, but we met only 6 years ago, when we were 29 and 40, both having done most of our growing up (you could say we'd both been around the block a time or two) which meant that we were both pretty sure of ourselves and what we wanted. We are still pretty much the same people, despite a baby having been added to the mix.

If we'd met any earlier (well more than a couple of years earlier), it would have been a disaster though. Firstly he would have still been married to his ex, and secondly I was far too immature to pick my soulmate over a pretty boy with a fast motorbike!

I am with Hyancith of this, I think the answer would be no. We met very young, and he was what I needed at the time (if that makes sense, without being too dismissive). He had just finished uni and moved back home. If I hadn't appeared I think he would still be at home, drinking in the same places seeing the same people for ever more (like all the rest of his friends appeared to be at the weekend). By the same token, I'd probably still be living in a flatshare in the City, seeing far too many people...

Some days we both still dislike the compromises we have both made to be together (none of them huge, but enough to provide bugbears), but the benefits outweigh the compromises. I think if we met now, I'd be far less willing to make those compromises to find out about the benefits (if that doesnt sound too corny)