I'm in love with someone else's dress!

I’ve been dress shopping for a while and decided to go on my own at the start as I had a lot of dresses to look through and didn’t want to bore anyone. I really didn’t know what I wanted and it was only until I looked through dresses I picked out, the more I tried on different designs, the more I realised what I wanted to go for and what would feel right for me. But I still hadn't come across a dress that felt like 'the one'.

Then just as it got easier, one evening a dress popped into my head and I couldn’t forget about it. It was a dress that I saw someone wear on their wedding day from their Instagram page. When I looked back at her pictures, I realised that this girl’s dress was in the exact shape and the exact detailing I knew was right for me. I wanted to get in touch with her to see if she was keen on selling her dress but I left it as she may want to keep it and felt it wasn't my place to encourage her to sell it.

So I looked it up and managed to find the same make and model of the dress. Then soon after I went to try it on at the shop and the minute I tried it on, I knew it was the one! I couldn't stop staring at the dress, it looked absolutely amazing and I couldn’t wait to show this to my friends. The only problem is, it’s expensive, I can buy it but I needed to think about it and really make sure that is the one I want to go for before I make a huge spend.

But what’s bizarre is that the exact same girl I saw wearing the dress on Instagram just put her dress on eBay! She was selling it for half the price which was much cheaper, I was shocked (to which I'm still shocked, it feels more than a coincidence). This all happened in the same week and I wondered if this was a sign.

I got in touch with the girl and she invited me over to try the dress on. When I went to see it the next day, her dress still looked brand new and there were no tears. The only thing was I’m a UK size 10 and her dress is a size 8, I wasn’t sure if a dress can be made one size bigger. But the good thing was we’re the same height which meant I wouldn’t need to alter the length of the dress.

I was worried the dress wouldn’t go past my huge butt but surprisingly the dress was a little stretchy and it managed to pass through. However unfortunately, as expected the zip could not go up on the side of my chest so I had to hold the side of the dress and take a good look at it in the mirror, but I couldn’t visualise me wearing it on my wedding day as it looked far too stretched out. I was gutted. The girl said if I lose a little more weight then the dress will fit me. I asked if I could visit again the following week so my friends could see it also and I could get their opinion on this, she kindly agreed to it.

Then when I told one of my friends, my friend managed to put me off the girl’s dress when she suggested it would be better for me to get a brand new dress, and one that would fit me properly. She also advised me to keep looking as there are beautiful dresses out there that are cheaper, the original one from the shop is too expensive and I shouldn’t spend that kind of money for something I will only wear once. I saw her point and and I did see some stunning dresses in the shops I visited, but I still couldn’t forget the dress that felt right for me.

I was really keen on buying the dress off the girl and I definitely would have if it was a size 10, I didn't want it to be a waste of money as I feared I may not drop down to a size 8, I would have to workout really hard and maybe by then I could go down a size? Who knows. But what I also fear is that because it’s made to measure, even if I did drop down to size 8, I’m afraid there may be areas of the dress that would need to be altered, e.g. the shapes of our backs, our waists and even our bottoms are different. The alterations would be entirely different and I can imagine they would also be difficult to fix.

I’ve tried to let this dress go and have been looking at other dresses. I found another dress which I haven’t paid for but now I’m turning it into a bespoke and realised that I’m trying to make it look a lot like the dress that I like, I’m not sure if it will even come out that nice. Now I’m wondering what is the point of me turning this dress into the one I like? I should just buy the one I like.

The dress is still on eBay and I don’t know if this whole thing has been a sign for me, I can’t decide what to do. I’m starting to lose weight and a lot of girls are telling me I will lose a lot of weight during the wedding prep. Would it be worth the risk if I bought the 2nd hand dress? This could save me so much money. I’m also wondering if I should purchase the actual dress from the shop instead, at least I will know it will be made to measure and would look perfect. Either way I know I would be following my heart.

Now I’m having mixed emotions. What’s hitting me now is that the thought of buying the dress, even though it feels right for me to wear it, it also somehow feels wrong. It’s the comment one lady made at another shop I visited one day, she said I should buy a dress I haven’t seen anyone wear for their wedding day as it should feel like the dress was made for me, and she said it would feel more special to carry that feeling with me on my big day. I saw her point, but why can I not let this particular dress go?

Has anyone experienced wanting a dress they saw someone else wear for their wedding? Is this normal? Normally women get put off seeing someone else wearing the dress they’ve already picked out. But in my case, I saw this dress on someone before I even saw it and I’ve set my heart on it. I did actually want to experience trying on a dress no one else had worn, it would’ve felt much more special to me, but I feel like this dress is the one!

Am I overreacting? What do you guys think? Has anyone been through this before?