I'm not having any bridesmaids.....

My sister didn't have any bridesmaids, either! I don't think it's strange at all. I would have suggested you just have your 'non-bridesmaid' stand with you, but if it will cause a massive rift with your sister it's just not even worth it. Just be sure your friend knows you appreciate all her help. Maybe get her a little thank you gift like you would for a BM. It doesn't matter if you don't have one, though, so stop listening to people who say it does. It's your wedding, after all!

WSS^^

If you don't want them (and for good reason it seems) then don't have them. I do agree about giving your non BM a little thank you though. If you hadn't run out of money and were worrying about your sister causing a fuss I'd have said stuff it and have your best friend and SIL but as time and budget are not on your side I'd leave it as it is.

I'm not having any proper BMs either (other than my daughter who will be 9 at the time) because I'm getting married abroad and on a tight budget.

I think if you are certain you don't want bridesmaids for the reasons you say, then don't worry about it!

I'm not being given away by anyone so will come down the aisle on my own (bridesmaids coming first) this has caused some aised eyebrows (by people who don't matter!) and I know I am right in my reasons.

Have you chosen witnesses yet? Maybe you could ask you friend to be your witness?

I think it's a good idea! If no one springs to mind to ask in the first place, there is no point asking people for the sake of it!

I'm only having my sister, because I have lots of friends, but no one special enough to ask (I'd have to have all of them!). My sister is one of my best friends though, there is only a year and a bit between us and we talk most days. We have missed each other so much going to different Uni's, I can't wait until she moves back to our hometown (with her London boyrfriend in tow!). I couldn't imagine not having her with me on my wedding day, but the rest of my friends I'm not too fussed about. That answered my own questions about whether I *should* have more BMs.

Thanks everyone! Feeling a bit better now. Tried to talk to my fiance about it and he didn't get it, but he's having two best men so I don't think he really understands!

I will be asking my non-bridesmaid and her husband (one of the best men) to be witnesses so she will still play a special role in the day. I just feel a bit bad because she's been by my side the whole time. I will be buying her a present though - not sure what to get yet, but I will get her something fantastic.

I think it's great that you are able to ignore any critics..... and maybe I should just do the same thing! It's so hard, though, when the days are ticking down, it feels like the pressure and the whispering increases as the time decreases! Maybe I'm just experiencing some classic pre-wedding panic......

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I didn't have any bridesmaids.

But then I didn't have guests either, so would have been pointless to have BMs.

Hi Nessa - I know how you are feeling, we have 75 days to go, so must be the weekend before you!!

Yes, you are, ours is the 9th.

I think when it went past the 3 month countdown, everything seemed to be a hell of a lot closer than it was before! Hence the panic about things that were previously fine, like my bridesmaid situation.

Glad to know I'm not the only one! ?

You're not the only one, I am having 1 bridesman and no bridesmaids.

Jo, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has had that experience in the bridal shop! I just don't think that they understand why people might not want to have bridesmaids or why circumstances mean that they are better off not having any. When I went for my fitting last week I went alone (which I was fine with, it was only pinning the hem up and taking the sides in, after all!) and I think that when I walked in alone and the lady gave me 'that look', I think that's what has sparked it all.

My BFF is my non-bridesmaid, and it sounds like your best woman and my non-bridesmaid are doing pretty much the same duties, except the poem bit, as she wouldn't feel comfortable doing it so I'm not going to make her. I hadn't considered buying her dress as her present but that is a really good idea!

Feeling so much better, thanks everyone for calming down a very stressed bride- to- be! ?

I was a non- bridesmaid last yr. the bride had 4 little flower girls but didnt want to ask an adult coz she didnt want to upset her two sister in laws. i organised the hen do and was there briefly in the morning,. i had a corsage & was a witness but not a proper bridemaid. she bought me a bouquet & a crd given to me n the speeches (i was very shocked) but it was ok and no one was offended x

Our daughter didn't have any bridesmaids either. She had a Man of Honour instead as he has been her best friend since they left school and he did a far better job than any bridesmaid I've seen at a wedding! You're definitely not on your own - it's becoming more and more popular as the expense of having them gets out of control sometimes!

Absolutley nothing wrong with having no BM's so don't worry about that.

Does sound like you would like your friend to be a BM though however you're worried about your sister and budget? Ignore the sister, you are not obliged to have her as a BM at all, you have who you want. As for the budget, does it have to cost a lot? If you only had the 1 BM then there would be no need for matching dresses etc, so she could choose her own/wear whatever she would have worn anyway. Nothing need change at all, sounds like she is being supportive to you already so all you would be doing is giving her the title.. sounds to me like a little thank you present might be on the cards anyway so again, no need for this to cost lots extra.

I'm not having bridesmaids either. Decided that I just didn't see the point and that I'd be choosing someone just for the sake of it.

I've only lived in the UK for two years and the only girls I know are my OH's friends' wives, who I'm not particularly close with. I have two younger sisters (twins), but I hardly ever speak to them as I haven't lived at home in about 15 years. And they're only coming over a few days before the wedding.

One of the girls offered to organise a hen do the second she heard we were getting married. Had I wanted someone to go dress shopping with there were plenty of volunteers.

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From what you've said, your friend is filling the role of a bridesmaid, all she's not doing is walking down the aisle after you. So long as your best friend knows that you value her support I don't see how she'd be offended.

I've got a non-bridesmaid, too, and my daughter will be my flowergirl. My non-bridesmaid was my only bridesmaid last time round so it would've been weird to have her again, but there's no-one else I'm as close to to ask instead this time. Also OH is funny about 'involving' anybody at all at our smallish RO ceremony due to the implied cost and not wanting to 'put people on the spot', but I may ask her to act as a witness, if OH ok's it.

I am not having any bridesmaids either ?

I'm not either as its too expensive for them to fly over. My best friend though is sorting out my hen night and another friend might be around depending on how she's doing on her dissertation. I'm not close enough to OHs sister to ask her but will be giving her a wrist corsage to make her feel part of things.

There's nothing strange or unusual about not having any bridesmaids - infact I kinda wish I'd never asked anyone to be a BM! I had 3, now down to 2 as I sacked one. To be honest its become such as massive headache - well at least the sacked BM was. She doesn't know she's sacked yet - H2B is sorting it out as she is his niece, he feels somewhat responsible for the goings on. She has done some pretty naff things and we're both absolutely furious!!

I say go for it, BMs are NOT a necessity!

Hiya,

we got married on 3rd March and didn't have any bridesmaids and I am really glad. I didn't have any stress leading up to our big day and on our actual wedding day I didn't need to worry about anyone else so I would always recommend NOT having bridesmaids ?

Good luck with your wedding and stick to your guns, I had doubts up until the last week but am so happy that I stuck to my guns,

Jess x

I totally know what you mean! My first panic was when I went back to work after New Year and it was sudeenly 'this year' and then as we ticked past the 3 month mark! Current;ly feeling frantic about ti - but am hopiong that if I press on at a frantic pace now I may have some time to relax nearer the time! OH bless him doesn't really understand the stress but is getting all his jobs done faster than he would to help me tick things off the list!

That's what I keep thinking - if I get stuff done now I can relax for the last month of'singledom' and not be stressed for my hen do, family birthdays and my best friend (non-bridesmaids!)'s birthday. But the list just seems to get longer and longer, no matter how many jobs get ticked off. Last night I couldn't get to sleep because I was worrying about my hair, which I was fine with up until now, and now suddenly isn't right. Why do we do it, eh? ?

I wasn't going to either because my 'brother' refused to let my nieces do the job (God forbid he leaves his comfy little house bubble for a weekend to go to his Sisters wedding) Anyway, after I got over the inital upset I decided I was shooting myself in the foot (and I had it pointed out by others how much I would appreciate someone on the day) so asked my friends who have been there through everything.

Really happy with the choice.

Budget was also an issue but I got cheap dresses in the Coast sale, I'm making bouquets, both have a pair of black shoes to use and they will do their own hair (might do my own too) so although it was a lot more than two kids I know they are helping enough to make it more than worth it.

Don't let your Sister put you off if you really want your best friend by your side.

I have an older sister like yours, I did the right thing by asking her to be BM and she threw a strop later on about something and decided she doesn't want to come to the wedding and she isn't. I replaced her with 2 of my step sisters and have never felt so relaxed and chilled out. Do what you want as you should be relaxed on the day not worrying about spoil sports!

I would ask your friend to be BM or an usherette she sounds like she has been a great friend too you.