Inappropriate Wedding Advice - :o(

I wouldn't consider her a friend after that! :-o
That's shocking that she would say that to you.

I've had a few people make snide remarks. An old never married woman at work the other day called me a 'silly girl' for wanting to get married. The post man who comes here asks me every day, 'changed your mind yet then?'. I've also had people telling my OH how wives let themselves go and don't want sex anymore after marriage with me sitting right there next to him.

I just ignore it. It does get annoying after a while though!

What a b*tch! I hope she's off your guest list after that.

Urgh. Yeah, I would be striking that so-called friend off your Christmas card list!

During the meal after our wedding my H's aunt asked why I wasn't taking his name and "what's wrong with it". The thing is she is my MIL's brother's wife, so she doesn't even have my H's last name, she has my MIL's maiden name! I was a bit taken aback and didn't really know what to say, but thankfully someone (I forget who) stepped in and steered the subject away from it. My H taking my name was a very personal and meaningful decision to me and I couldn't believe someone would question it to my face! Maybe she was half-joking, but I'm still not sure...

Some people are unbelievable!! Don't take any notice of her and remove her from your life.

What did you OH say? Bearing in mind he has asked you to marry him he (and rightly so!) loves you for you and who you are.

Dont listen to her and dont let her upset you, its probably caused by jealousy.

Good on you for not making a scene at the wedding as i'd imagine you wanted to deck her one.

Although the damage has been done to your friendship, I hope she apologises.

How rude of her! Well done on the comeback though - I would have thought of that an hour later in the taxi home! Please don't let it get to you.

Not long after we got engaged and decided to get married at our church in Manchester, rather than my 'home' church, our next-door neighbour came round (when I was out) to tell Mr C that it wasn't right for us to do that, that brides always get married in their home church, and that I must be a 'very odd girl'. I can't say I've ever warmed to him, but this didn't help! Mr C has known him for years and said that he's always been a bit of a grump. He came round the next day to apologise to Mr C, and was apparently very sincere, but I wish that he'd either had a go at me and apologised to me, or that Mr C had never even bloody told me in the first place!

There's plenty of innappropriate advice about!!

I work with several slightly bitter divorced women who all keep telling me I'll regret getting married!! But then half an hour later they'll be asking me about my dress or table decorations!! Go figure!

The trouble with weddings is that far too many people feel the need to stick their noses in!! Thankfully most of our family/friends have kept their noses out other than actually helping us come up with ideas etc.

Forget about what others say, it's your day and as long as you are comfortable in your own skin then what's the problem?!

I agree there is always a lot of inappropriate wedding advise. I swag from ignoring it to if the person giving it is married I say oh I never realised you were so unhappy in your marriage. Especially if their oh is there.

In your friends case I think it was typical very drunk person saying something very inappropriate regardless of it being wedding advise.

I hope she's off the wedding list and the friend list.

What a right *** she sounds.......every bride is beautiful / stunning on her wedding day so don't listen to a word she is saying x oh and don't invite her either as she is no friend!

Seconded!

Yeah, at 50 and 3rd time round I've had people telling me I shouldn't do it again. Ignore them totally and have a fabulous day

I've had a few people say "why are you bothering now?". My fiancé and I have been together 15 years when we get married next year, we have a 10 year old son together and I have a 23 year old son from my first marriage. My fiancé and I have been living together for about 13 years too. And the comment "ohh are you having the whole big wedding dress?" conversation really gets me mad. Yes I'm having "the dress" along with everything else, why shouldn't I? It's my second marriage my fiancé's first and I really wanted to do it "properly" this time.

I had someone say about letting yourself go!

They didn't apprectiate my reply of 'Thats ok, I let myself go and stopped wanting sex after the second child tore me right open. God that was painful for a while....'

Haha love it about letting yourself go. There is usually a come back that shuts them right up!

Thank you ladies for your support; it's was just what I needed. Thank you x by yesterday I had calmed down and so I messaged her and gave her a piece of my mind. Initially she denied it.. Then backtracked and said she was had only well intentions... Anyway put it this way... There is absolutely no doubt now that she knows she did wrong.

She is off ALL lists! A real shame but I guess we can thank alcohol for giving us 'truth talk' - silly ****!

I just find it shocking what some people have said to you ladies.. That and the fact they think they have 'the right' to even pass comment..

We're all individually amazing x

Bex

I had (from one of my bridesmaids) 'a few squats wouldn't hurt'

Luckily I know its because she's having a tough time and doesnt mean it.

My response was 'he's marrying me, if I turn up looking like someone else he'd get very confused!'

Not surprised you were upset. the guys where i work are driving me nuts - every time they see me eating they say ' you will never get into that dress!'. they dont mean any harm, but i have more to worry about at the moment than the size of my backside!

Goodness, I can't believe how rude people are! It's one thing to think something, but how do they dare saying stuff like that to someone's face?! I've yet to come across someone so negative, and I'm sure I won't take my own advice and feel awful when it comes down to it... but while I still have my confidence: everyone, please ignore those weirdos and do exactly what you want! ? It's your life, your body and your wedding, you're the one paying for that dress, and nobody else has anything at all to say about it. However fat or skinny or young or old you are, if you want to wear a particular dress and feel good in it, don't let anyone stop you. You will be beautiful! And yes, cross those people of ALL the lists!

Can I just say that I love you didn't just let it slide and pulled her up for it! Doesn't matter how good a friend she is that's a really b*tchy thing to say.

My mum keeps telling me to go to the gym because apparently I don't want to be a fat bride. She's also suggested I don't wear a white dress because I have a child from a previous relationship. I pointed out that unless I wake up on the day of my wedding and find out I'm somehow in the 1940's then I'm wearing whatever makes me happy! Let them say what they like - long as you're happy then who the hell cares?!

I'm 58, size 16 and grown up kids. When it comes to inappropriate advise I've had it all, size, age, can't possibly wear a wedding dress. What the hell am I intending to do with my hair which considering it all fell out during chemo and I now have short curls what do people THINK I can possibly do with it.

some people don't think. Some people are jealous and some people are just downright nasty and or bit@@y.

when it comes to these comments I think I can beat them all hands down although not wedding related. I went to Spain and had a meal out with some friends who live there. I told her my son had just been diagnosed with testicular cancer. She asked when we were next in Spain again and I said I didn't know until I had a better idea what was happening with my son.

she said. Why? He's grown up! You need to see to yourself and get on with your life..... After all you would have to just get on with it if he died!!

gobsmacked.

left. End of friendship.

What planet do these people live on.

Wow, what a complete ***! I wouldn't consider her a friend at all! I'm sure you'll make a beautiful bride! xx

Urghhhh last thing you need, it's true many brides do lose weight - I lost 3 stone in the end but it is personal choice and all brides are stunning regardless I knew I wanted to but that was just me!

Lol I do remember having a chuckling convo with my BM as she originally had suggested I wear a fishtail dress (really not my style) when I said I would have never suited it she said but if you had lost as much weight as you were planning on then it would have suited you! Made me laugh she then realised very quickly how it sounded and apologised!

Not defending your friend in anyway and she was definitely out of order but flipping the coin (if she is a gym or fitness nut) maybe it was her way of offering support in a very poor drunken way? Completely stupid way but I did have similar conversations with fitness friends offering a training partner side for support (I hadn't asked I think they just presumed because I was getting married).

I agree with you only in part Scottish_Sarah... She may well have had 'well intensions' but her approach and the actual words she said is not acceptable. She uninvited and out of the blue told me 'you should lose weight' and 'to be a stunning bride you need to lose weight' .... Who is she to say what I should and should not do and to rate me as a 'stunning' bride...? By all accounts she has upset people...(that's a whole new thread!)

That said I have received and accepted many offers to ''shall we go Zumba together' or a run etc... So I agree with you in part.

Xx