Invite etiquette?

Hey hun, the people politics of a wedding sucks! This also a time when you find put how mature your guests really are. My top tip is once you make a desicion STICK WITH IT, despite who moans. For example, dont invite this partner that openly slags you off. If asked why, just be honest!

Some of our friends are coming to the ceremony, and their partners to the evening due to capacity. They dont mind, they understand.

As for the millions of relatives you dont know? I say dont invite them. I am not inviting one of my uncles because I have not seen or heard from him for at least a decade, despite being my mums only brother, thankfully she gets it. At the end of the day, this is not a massive family reunion, it is your wedding day, and you should only have those who care and love you there. If anyone utters the words 'but I havent seen cousin John in 20 years', that is their fault. People should not use a wedding as an excuse to catch up with long lost relatives, that can happen at any time of the year.

Please dont make a massive guestlist stress you out. I advise to keep it as simple as possible. You are going to be laying your love bare in front of everyone on your big day, you shouldnt have to do it in front of people u have never met.

Hth :-)

Start off the guest list by including all the people you definitely want to be at your wedding, so immediate family, wedding party (best man/ushers/bridesmaids etc) and close friends, then work from there. you may or may not have discussed your total budget for the wedding, but once you start looking at venues and getting quotes you will then begin to get an idea of how much of the budget will be taken up by the cost of catering your guests. If you find that it is going to cost more than you thought - leave out the distant family members /random partners that aren't high on your guest list, or vice versa if the budget allows and you want to spend a little more on having extra guests then go for it!

We don't have any contact with one side of my family - we haven't seen them since my nanna's funeral 5 years ago - so it never entered my head to invite any of them to the wedding (besides the fact I wouldn't want any family feuds to kick off...)

I had to reign Mr K in a little when compiling our guest list - he wanted to invite pretty much everyone hes ever known! you do have to draw a line somewhere; if its someone you haven't seen for over a year, have little contact with and are unlikely to see them much/at all after the wedding - do they really warrant an invite?

Bottom line? Invite who you want to invite, and don't feel pressured into inviting people you don't really want to be there.

I don't think people will mind just partners being invited to the evening reception as long as they know - I've been to weddings similar and understood.

I ended up inviting people to keep the peace - mainly the OH ex who has done similar in terms of comments but she is now one of his friends GF's and in the same friend group as all of his other friends who are invited so it would have really looked like a spurn and caused more comments so just bitten the bullet and added to the list. I am mixing seating plans up so there can't be comments on the day!

We have only added plus one's for friends who are in long term relationships or married - already had 2 friends moan to which the response is there plus one's are on the reserve list but I've already invited the max so they will have to wait and see closer to the time (plus they have only been in relationships for 2 months!)

Having a rough number does help with venue hunting but so does budget - some venues are expensive caterering wise! I fully agree with your family stance - personally its only first family so Aunt, uncle cousins not my 2nd cousins (dad's cousin).

We had similar concerns but at £220 per head I cant afford to have people I barely know attend all day. So we are saying no plus ones. If we are friends with both of a couple they both get an invite. If not, they dont.. as for family, we are only inviting those we see regularly. I have told my mum and dad and his parents if they want to invite others that's fine but they need to stump up the cash (I am paying for mybown wedding). At the end of the day do what pleases you. You cant keep everyone happy anyway.

We have done the opposite to you-booked the venue and we are now wondering how we are going to cut the list down to 80 day guests. My OH family is huge and he is certain that he cant cut any family off the list. The only option he is giving me is either invite all cousins (which is ridiculous because it would add £1000's onto the budget) or invite no cousins at all (which would leave us a lot of people short meaning that we would be paying for meals that wont be eaten).

Its a bit of a sore point for us at the min which has caused a few arguements already and we arnt getting married for over 2 years!

Im just hoping that he eventually sees sense and realises he doesnt have to invite everyone and their dog.

The wedding co - ordinator at our venue had a good point-think seriously about who your inviting. Why should a close friend/work colleague be down the bottom of the list and cousins etc at the top just for the fact that they are family? Xx