Inviting evening guests to the church

I have a large family as well and although I am inviting them all to everything at past weddings in my family cousins have just been invited to the Church and then the evening part (Aunties and Uncles to the whole day)

Their invites were worded as any other invite would usually be and then after the time for the ceremony just added and afterwards for an evening reception at 7.30pm at reception place e.g "............... at 1.30pm at St Joseph's Church and afterwards for an Evening Reception at 7.30pm"

All the cousins were perfectly happy with this - coming from a large family everyone understands that budget/venue restrictions on numbers mean they couldn't all be invited. Eveyone was just happy to be at the ceremony and then the celebration in the evening!

It's exactly what we did - 110 ceremony and evening, 55 or so wedding breakfast - simply because of costs, and we couldn't afford or justify another £2000 to feed more distant friends and work colleagues (and their partners, many of whom we'd never met).

We basically gave them the time of the ceremony and evening reception; those coming to the WB had extra boxes to tick on the invitations for their preferences, those not coming had a paragraph saying after the photographs there would be some free time for them to enjoy the beauty of the New Forest or the hotel bar.

What we did to "lessen the impact" was to move the speeches to the evening celebrations, which start at 5.30pm so our wedding breakfast is simply a meal for the closest family and friends with a few words from the two of us to thank people for coming. It meant that at worst they have 2 hours to "kill" (our invitation pack suggested some places they might like to visit nearby, many are having a picnic too.

One thing we're doing is starting with the big group shots of everyone, then working backwards to basically bride and groom and parents, then just the two of us, so those that aren't staying for the WB are able to make a swift exit to the car or bar and make the most of their free time.

Some are simply using the time to check into their hotels for the evening, as they can't get into their rooms before the ceremony. Our venue is licensed so we're having everything in one place but most people are travelling, perhaps 100+ miles each way, to be with us.

I think some people might, yes, but if they care about you they will love the opportunity to see you getting married regardless of whether they are invited to the WB or not.

Me and my OH did that a couple of years ago - a friend was really restricted on numbers for the WB but wanted as many people at the church as possible so we went along to the church, then went for a pub lunch somewhere local to the hotel and then went back for the evening do. We didnt care - we were flattered they asked us to the church! But I think we are quite relaxed open minded people whereas some people might not be. No matter what you do you are bound to offend someone!

This is so true!

I will explain to them before hand so when they get the invite its not the first time they become aware of it. Coming from a large family I would hope they would understand. It means a lot for me to have them witness the most special moment in my life. If I could afford to have them all there I would but budget doesnt allow.

I am asking a few evening guests to the church service, but not the wedding breakfast. I plan to just add a little personal note in with their evening invite saying if they wanted to attend the church service I would like that and then say i can advise them as to nice places for luch if they want to make a day of it. -words to that effect!

We are inviting a few people just to the church and nothing else so they could consider themselves lucky