Inviting 'former' best friend?!?

Nope, wouldn't invite her. You don't want to be having the disappointment of her saying no. If standard meeting up is too difficult I wouldn't waste an invite to be honest. People change sadly. Xx

Agreed with Piestar, it might even be the case that she's stepping back from the friendship, and she would prefer to not be invited, seeing as it's her who doesn't seem to be making any effort. I know it's hard to feel like a friendship is ending but sometimes people simply do just grow apart

Hmm I lost contact with my best friend for 3 and a half years when she moved to the other end of the country for Uni. I spent hours, days searching and searching for her online and finally hunted her down! She was visiting family and briefly came to see me at a craft fair. It was awesome!! Started talking about old times, had a giggle, a hug.. I nearly cried. It was worth it! Although she didn't even bother trying to find me I'm so glad I went to the effort. She is invited to my wedding and has said she'll come so I'm really chuffed!

I'd send her an invite, if she says no then you know not to persue the friendship any longer but if she says yes - great! You get to see an old friend.

My friend has invited me up to visit her before and I've had to decline everytime. I've got a toddler to think about now but before then it was getting time off uni, work, having the money etc And trying to tie it in with what she was doing too - Not easy!

Don't not invite her and regret it...

I agree with the others- it sounds like unfortunately, you've grown apart, and doesn't sound like you're likely to be really close again (unless something dramatically changes) so I think I'd leave it. I've thought about this myself with people I've been close to previously about whether we should invite them, but realised there was no point inviting them for 'old times sake'. Unless we're still in contact, or I envisage we'll still be in touch in a few years time, I don't think I'm going to invite them.

I have quite a similar situation and after much soul searching have sent her an invitation, perhaps as a way to show her I still care even if we're not really in touch, and perhaps to put the ball in her court (if I am being honest). She would have received her invitation about 6 weeks ago and hasn't even acknowledged it so I am quite sure she won't be accepting which is fine - at least I'll know where I stand.

It really depends on whether you are comfortable calling time on that friendship or not. I did make the decision not to invite another "friend" who has not spoken to me for 2 years and didn't so much as congratulate us on Facebook when we got engaged although another friend thought I should do so to "be the better person". I have no idea why they are not speaking to me but our wedding day is not the time to find out!

I was going to invite an old school friend, there were 6 of us at school 4 of us have stayed close and they will be at the whole day. One of them I don't see often but keep in touch via email and Facebook and the other has moved away and I never see so was going to invite them to the evening to only. Went on Facebook to ask for addresses and moved away friend has unfriended me, so no invite for her then! I am now not sure what to do about the friend I don't see much as the others will all be at the full day. So while I'm no help at all I do feel your pain!

Can you not invite her to the evening reception?

I have a similar friend, someone i lived with for 3 years, who I now dont really speak to but not because i dislike her or her me, but because our lives are just very seperate and different now, i know that if she comes we will get along just fine, and actually this is the sign of a true friendship when people dont connect for long periods of time but when they do its like they've never been apart.

x

Thank you everyone! I think I may keep her in mind and if there is the space/budget for her to come, I'll send an invite. Am almost certain she would come, if not for a nosey! There are only a couple of people we would have for the evening instead of the whole day so feel it's better to just have an 'all or nothing' approach and invite people for the whole day. Think if it were me giving advice to someone else in this situation I'd say don't bother but don't want to regret it...

Thanks for all your thoughts, much appreciated ?

I'm not sure what I would do in all honesty. I have one friend from Uni coming to my wedding who is a fair distance so probably only see her once a year, other than that rarely speak BUT I do know if I did ever text her etc I'd get a reply and it would be just like old times, and vice versa for her. That to me means she is a true friend and always will be, albeit maybe not as close as we were once.

OH has an old childhood best friend who he now rarely speaks to but he is inviting him still - to the evening only though.

What will you regret more?

I met my best friend in year 9 at secondry school on a trip to the millenium dome. If it hadn't been for the first coach being full and my friends I was going to sit with being on that one, so we got separated, I wouldn't have meet Sarah. We hit it off immediately and have been best friends ever since. We've left school, gone to various colleges on different courses to each other and both moved (albeit not major distances) into our own houses. She works long weeks and isn't always off when I am, but she will always make time for me and do things at the drop off a hat, same goes for me to her. Couldn't wish for a better friend.

On the other hand, I had a 'best friend' when I first started secondary school, we both drifted apart after a couple of years, I've bumped into her occasionally but we're no longer really friends. People grow apart and although it's sad, you can't keep flogging a dead horse. X