Inviting guests' partner whom you have not met - etiquette

We had a 6 month rule, anyone dating for more than 6 months - providing we kind of knew them, they were invited. A lot of my friends had partners that i didnt know and hadnt ever met them, so they were only invited to the evening. if anyone says anything and you dont want to sound harsh, then tell them its a venue/numbers thing

i dont think the best mans GF would expect you to ask her unless you are very close.

I really wouldnt have thought that your BM's girlfriend would expect to be asked to be a bridesmaid, have who you want to have as your bridesmaids.

I personally would invite your friend from work +1 if there isnt anyone else that he knows, or if everyone that he does know is going as part of a couple. He could always take a friend or his partner at the time if he has one. It's only one person and it might make him more comfortable if he doesnt know many other people. But, if there is a big bunch of work people going, then I'd just invite him as it's not like he'd be on his own IYSWIM

Really wouldnt worry about offending people, its your day and you have the right to invite or not invite who you want!

I'm glad you posted this I will be interested in the replies

My dilema is with my BM's 1 has been with her fella for about 1 year now (i've met him once for about 10 minutes) the other recently broke up with her's but last month met a new guy and sent me a text saying "i'll need a +1 afterall" Eeeeek. I don't really know the polite way of telling them I don't really want them there, mainly because I have the tables at their 10 Max bar one which does only have 8 but there are 3 babies on there so I was kinda leaving it more roomy.

We are not having a traditional top table just us, our son, H2B's 2 sons, Best Man and our 3 BM's so it's not like they will sit together anyway.

Re: The Best Mans GF being BM.. I doubt she would expect that of you. H2B's BM's wife certainly hasn't (well I don't think) & we even have their son as a paigeboy.

This is what we have tried to do - that way noone will feel uncomfortable and be left alone.

As for the BM's girlfriend, I don't think she should be your bridesmaid (unless of course you know her and want her to be).

the easy 1 first...unless you and the girl are really good friends, besides the relationship thing to you OH, Then no, definately not BM! You BMs are your close friends/sisters!

As for inviting the plus ones...Im so restricted to numbers, that unless they are married, they come alone! There aren't too many in that situation tho! Harsh maybe...but the only way!! Evening do is different and peoples OH's will be invited to it!

Our bestman has split from his gf (they have a child together) and we think he's going to ask if she can come...he's been very cheeky as of late even asking if she could come on our weekend away recently! My H2B would NEVER let her come in a million years!

We have said that if he has a serious gf at the time of the wedding she will obviously be invited but won't be on the top table with him (which he was a bit sharp about).

It's personal preference I guess, I would be a bit iffy about inviting some random person to my wedding. Luckily we haven't had to succomb to such a request yet, although there are 11 months to go yet!

Go with what you want hun, afterall it's yours and your H2b's day ? x

Thanks everyone, was interesting reading the replies, they were much similar to what I was inclined to think too. BM's girlfriend has been to ours for dinner a couple of times, and we do know her well despite them only having been together for about a year and a half or so. I just thought she might expect it because I have asked my H2B's sister to be my BM, together with my best friend, as I am only having 2 adult bridesmaids and possibly a junior (she'll be 12 and a half by then) but she's not a definite as she lives abroad and her mum (my childhood friend from Romania) said they don't know yet if they'll be in a position to come to the wedding ye due to the crazy financial and economical chaos in Romania at the moment (very similar if not worse than Greece and Spain!)

As others have said unless you and her are very good friends i dont see why should would think she was going to be a BM.

Your friend who you work with i would try to give a +1 to if he is not going to know people. You mention that you work with him so if there are going to be other people from work there then i dont see a prob with not giving him a +1

As for the other part of your post i would never invite my friends without their plus ones. I recently had to attend a wedding without my OH as the bride hadnt met him and i really didnt like it. Everyone was asking where he was and what were the plans for our wedding and it felt very strange to not have him there (trust me i am not a needy person and often go out with my mates without my OH). We are having a small wedding and are still inviting all of our friends partners even the ones who we have not met. For the friends that do not have a partener at the moment my really close friends have a +1 if they will need it (although they dont know this) those friends who i am not that close to the decision will be made based on how long they have been tog and how close to full our venue is.

sorry you can tell I am just recovering from surgery LOL that above was quite incoherent LOL. When I say "she's not a definite" I mean the junior bridesmaid. As for the best friend who IS my BM that's my English best friend LOL.

Hi, tinks269, I know exactly how you feel because I have been in that situation myself and didn't like it. especially as a Romanian, where couples are invited together, no question asked, anyway - even if they're not married or live together as if you are a woman and turn up at a party or wedding without your OH people start gossiping that you've either split up or you're "on the pull" LOL. ridiculous, i know, but i was askinmg just to see what other people thought as acceptable. There will only be 3 other people from work at the day do, but neither of them get on well with the guy I mentioned and in fact I will ensure they are not sat at the same table.

I don't think the best man's GF would expect it unless you were best friends. My BMs GF is coming to the wedding, but not the hen do. I've met her about 8 times but we're not her friend, we're her partners friend iyswim. We get on, but I wouldn't call her. I don't even have her number.

I would only invite male colleagues +1 if he didn't know anyone else. If other work colleagues were coming I wouldn't bother. To make it clear just write on the invite just his name, then hint at work that he can sit on his OWN with someone else from work!

It did feel very strange, you could tell people were trying to work out where he was or why he wasnt there. And i didnt feel comfortable saying that he hadnt been invited as he had never met the bride as i think that relected badly upon her. If that is teh case with your friend from work i would give him a +1 if your budget allows as you obviously like him and want him there and that would def make him feel more comfortable. You could always ask him if he would like one.

Interesting thread. i've got the same problem - inviting 5 friends who all have longterm partners. i barely know the partners (literally met each one ONCE, and only had a proper conversation with 2 of them) also we are very very tight for numbers, having to leave out a lot of close people (definitely chose a venue that is too small!) so i feel bad but i think i will have to leave out their partners. i explained the situaiton to my friends, i think they were a little put out but they do understand. and they will all know each other and be sat together. just couldn't justify wasting 5 precious guest spaces on people i don't know...

is this really rude of me?!?! i think i would be ok if i was unmarried and my friend barely knew my OH xx

It's an annoying situation really as you have your budget to stick to and obviously you are going to both invite people that are special to you, which I really appreciate. Luckily we won't have to do many plus ones.

The ladies who I work with (7 of) I have said to them that their partners won't be invited, as I just can't accomodate all of them. They were all okay with it as most of us get on great...afterall you spend most of your life at work!