inviting guests to the church but not to the wedding breakfast but then to evening reception

I think it's a fine idea but... I don't think it's quote clear enough as some people would just not read it properly and assume it meant the whole day

I've heard of a couple of people doing this and think that provided you make it clear what they are/aren't invited to its fine. I'd also stress they don't have to attend the church, they're just welcome. One of my friends was invited to a church ceremony and then evening do and as it was out of town she found they were all just sat around killing time. She didn't feel she could just turn up on the evening though x

I have heard of people doing this but I am not keen - too much potential for embarrassing misunderstandings and people feeling miffed/inconvenienced.

I think id try and make it very clear on the invite that they are invited to the church and that we will just be having a very small and intimate family only meal to join both family's together and that they are more than welcome to join us after the meal

I think this is fine. My sister invited people to the ceremony only and then the evening with only family invited to a meal in between. Could you say something along the lines of...

Name & Name invite you to join them at (venue) as the exchange their vows on (date) at (time). The ceremony is expected to last approximately (approx time e.g 1/2 hour) and will be followed by some formal photos outside the venue.

The happy couple would like you to rejoin them as they celebrate their marriage at (include details of evening reception)

That way it's clear what they are invited to. You'll probably need an RSVP that allows people to select which parts they are RSVP'ing to.

I would agree that it needs to be crystal clear; why not do evening invites and put in them "You are also welcome to come and see us say 'I do' at *church name* at *time*"

If it was me, I'd be a bit vague about the middle bit as it could sound a bit "we're having a meal and you're not invited".

If you're inviting people who have travelled to be at the Church / evening you could include a little note with ideas of things they could do in between e.g. restaurants where they could have lunch, any nice walks etc.

x

Yes - this is perfect.

^^^This^^^ it makes it crystal clear and no confusion is possible x

We will be doing this for our wedding as we both have quite large families and to invite friends to the wedding breakfast too will be difficult.

We will be doing this for our wedding as we both have quite large families and to invite friends to the wedding breakfast too will be difficult.

Agree with this. Really not keen on this. We're only having 20 daytime guests but only 20 will be at the church, I couldn't bring myself to ask people to come to see us marry but then go home and amuse themselves til night time. Just not for me, but if you do decide to do this I agree it has to be crystal clear & hope people still don't misunderstand.

I did this for my first wedding, and it was fine. Everyone who was invited to the church and evening reception went to the town centre (halfway between my church and reception venue) and had a few drinks while we had the wedding breakfast etc. We worded the invitations the same way you have and didn't have any confusion. We actually found that the majority of people wanted to come and see the ceremony even if they weren't invited to the day reception - the church was pretty much full.

My friend got married two weekends ago. Our invite said evening invite only. She then also had a little bit of paper that said we were welcome at the ceremony also, detailing the time. We went to their ceremony, had dinner in the city and then went to the reception. It was lovely to see them during the day and celebrate the marriage part also. You just need to make sure it is absolutely clear what your inviting them to.

I always though that's how weddings happened to be honest, everyone whos invited is automatically invited to the ceremony and the rest depends on weather it says evening or day... it wasn't until joining here I realised anyone would not invite someone to the ceremony

to me it boggles the mind inviting someone to the evening/night do if they weren't actually part of/at the wedding (or invited to it) IMHO without being invited to the actual ceremony (I mean lets face it that what IS the wedding) then seems rude and like a false gesture to people you felt you had to invite rather than wanted

maybe its the modern civil ceremonies but in the olden days didnt they use to just place an announcement in the paper/community board/church and ANYONE who wanted to wish the couple well attended no invitations required

Personally, I would prefer not to do it this way - I feel it says *you're important to us, we want you to see us get married - but you're not important enough for us to pay for your dinner*. I have been to similar weddings and tbh, it took some of the fun out of it / dampened the spirits, as there was so much hanging around, by the time of the reception, everyone was a bit 'meh'. However, as others have said, it is YOUR wedding and do what is best for you and your guests - I agree that as long as you are super-clear then people can't moan.

Yup, and in the olden days, the bride used to be a virgin on her wedding night. Funny how when people talk about wanting a 'traditional' wedding, this is the one tradition they're happy to let go ?

Forgive me if I'm wrong JJKCB, but aren't you the person who said a while back that it was rude to not invite your guests immediate family/ kids, plus your bridal parties parents and siblings? Something about 'coming as a package'? Even if you haven't met half of them?

By my reckoning, in my ceremony venue's capacity, that would leave you with about 30 guests and 60 of their family members, if each person bought another 2 on average. 30 people didn't even cover H's close family. While I'm sure that is a lovely gesture of you, our wedding was about being surrounded by the people we love (and yes, some of those were kids - kids are people too) and who love us, and made for an exceptionally awesome atmosphere. I'm sure a wedding full of people we barely know would have been fairly dull, for us and our guests.

So in a way, aren't you the one inviting the *feel like you have to's*?

FHB and Miss Toffee have it right, I think - evening invitation with a separate note that says they're more than welcome to join you for the ceremony.

Exactly this.

Thank's everyone!

i think I'll go with evening invitations with a little card letting them

know that they are welcome to the church also

that way there is less emphasis on that they are not

invited to the wedding breakfast, which should make it easier

as we are only having immediate family for the sit down meal