Inviting partners...

The general rule is that if someone is in a committed relationship (married, engaged or has been together for several years) then you should always invite their partner.

Of course, you can invite whoever you choose. Just be prepared for a large number of people declining if you don't invite their spouse, fiance/ee or long-term girlfriend/boyfriend.

If you have never actually met your friends' partners, then it is worth considering whether you are actually as close to your friends as you think you are, and whether you need to invite them at all. I know everyone's circumstances are different, but for myself, even if I haven't met a friend's long-term partner (or not met them often) I know their name.

It is YOUR day and people should understand if you explain it to them. Too many rules of should and shouldn't when it comes to weddings and it puts unnecessary pressure on

We had a similar situation but we stuck to out guns and invited who we wanted, which were people who are part of our lives and been part of our journey. It caused a bit of an argument as we also dint have cousins/aunts etc, but we are not close to them ( only see them at weddings and funerals and don't particularly like some of them!) I ended up arguing with my mum that it is OUR day and WE are paying so we will do what we want. There is to much emphasis on what you should do as tradition, as in honesty, families are not like they used to be in terms of closeness, and with the cost of weddings I don't think anyone should demand or expect an invite, especially when you never see these people.

As you say your friends wont be on their own as they all know other guests, so I really think you should invite who you want, explain that unfortunately partners are not invited to the day due to costs and that you want to have an intimate ceremony and reception with your closest people, but of course they are welcome in the evening. If your wedding is a bit further away it is likely your friends may boot to stay somewhere, so the partner could easily spend the day nearby or at their hotel and then join them later. You do need to be prepared to accept some people may decline, but you need to do what you are comfortable with .

From experience, try not to discuss to many details of your day with others as they then start having opinions and it is stressful. It is your day, so do it your way. Good Luck

It’s personal choice and up to you. Personally I wouldn’t get upset/expect an invite from my fiancé friend if I didn’t know them well/never met and vice versa.
I have a group of girl friends through work and we always meet up without our SOs and they will be coming to our wedding solo. They are looking forward to a girly weekend away without worrying about entertaining their OH. I’ve only made exception for those who won’t know anyone else at the wedding.
Invite them to the evening do if you want and let them decide if they come. But I think you’re right to maybe talk to people before invites go out to avoid confusion and assumptions being made. I think so long as they know at least a couple of others at the wedding it wouldn’t be an issue!

It’s an awkward one. Personally we are making space for serious partners and partners of close friends as it’s a priority for me that our guests have a good time and, rightly or wrongly, most people have a better time at a wedding if their other half is there. There are 4 guests currently single and we have two spaces for +1s so I will decide nearer the time what to do with those two spots. If people are married, engaged or live together then I think it’s rude not to invite their partner. If it is a new relationship (ie. Less than a year) and you haven’t met them then it’s fine to leave them off.


But people have to do what they want, my friend is doing “no meet no seat” for her wedding. I don’t know if people are bothered or not because me and my fiancé have socialised with her and her fiancé several times so we are both invited.
It’s rubbish attending a wedding where you don’t know many people though so bear that in mind.

We have a smallish wedding of 50 people. We've split the numbers down the middle. I have 24 guests and OH has 24. I decided early on that I wanted most of my close girlfriends there but wouldn't have space for all of their OHs. I've already told them and they were accepting. I'm sure if they are good friends they'll understand.

We're having a small 50 person wedding, we stuck to our guns on aunts and uncles that are rarely seen and didn't include them on the guest list (even though that caused huge dramas with FMIL!).

We did, however, include partners - caveat being that they were serious long term partners (i.e. living together, engaged, married) not like "current girlfriend" or random +1. Some of these partners we know well and would consider our friends too, some we've only met because we felt like we should do a quick "not a psychopath" check haha before including them in our day but did feel like we "knew" them in a way because their partners talk about them. Personally, I'm of the opinion that it's a bit rude to ask your friends to celebrate your relationship without respecting their serious relationship and that your friends will have a nicer time/be keen to stay longer in the evening/happier about travelling if their OH is with them which will make the overall vibe of the wedding much better for you (because it's much better for everyone else!)

Any single friends, or friends in newer/more casual relationships, or friends where some mysterious partner has come out of the woodwork that we'd never even heard of before sending the invites, we have invited solo and they've all understood. We've just said that if there happens to be declines then their may be space if current boyfriend becomes serious but we can't promise it.

I think it’s fine if they know other guests and you don’t know their partners. For most our friends we’ve invited partners because we socialise with them together. There was only 3 people who got +1s without us both having met the partner. One a close friend of OH (partner can’t actually make it anyway), another travelling quite far and all other people in that friendship group got +1s and the 3rd was because she doesn’t really know anyone else at the wedding but she said she didn’t mind either way. 3 people are coming without +1s and they are part of the same friendship group with my OH. I actually think 2 of those 3 are single anyway, but the 3rd didn’t invite me when he got married a few years ago and I’ve only briefly met him and never his wife. They all seem fine about it and have messaged to say they’re looking forward to the wedding.

We’ve decided if we don’t know their partner, we aren’t inviting them - people might think it’s selfish, but weddings are expensive and why would you want to look at your wedding photos and not know people in them when you’re looking back. You’re not forcing people to go and if they are upset their partners aren’t invited or decide not to go to your wedding because of that reason, it’s completely on them and you shouldn’t feel bad about it x

I feel you on this one. I totally get where you are coming from.
So our rule is, if they’re not engaged and/or have only been with them a short period of time unfortunately they’re not invited.
The only exception we are making is for those included in the wedding party. For example the best man’s partner is invited as they’ve been together over a year now. I know you mentioned money not being a major factor, but if you invited 20 friends with partners your looking at another £2000 for partners to come. I know people who have stated that due to the capacity of the venue they were unable to invite partners to the wedding, but we would love for them to join us in the evening when the capacity increases. Just remember it is your day, you both need to feel comfortable and if that’s not infront of a lot of people you have to do what is going to make you happy. I’m sure if you explain this to your friends they’ll be very understanding of the factors you have mentioned above. Enjoy your day, do what makes you happy as no matter what you do there will always be someone who complains but this is about you and your partner! Hope this is helpful. Enjoy wedding planning! X

I get why you want to do this and at the end of the day it's your wedding, so you should do what you like. However, I would personally find it quite rude if a friend invited me to their wedding but didn't invite my fiancé. It would seriously make me consider if that friend respected me and my relationship.


In my opinion if a friend is in a serious long-term relationship, is engaged or married, then the partner should be invited. Even if they know other people at the wedding, friends will have more fun and be more relaxed if their partner is there. Also I think it's just rude not to invite them. In a similar situation, a few years ago my fiancé's brother didn't invite me to his birthday meal. My fiancé had to go without me. Its really soured my relationship with his brother because it made me feel like I wasn't accepted and my fiancé didn't have a great time because he spent the evening texting me and just wanting to come home. Although I sort of get on with his brother now, I've never quite felt comfortable around him because of that.
I think if you don't invite the partners of friends you risk a similar situation. I guess it's whether you are happy to take that risk and shoulder any consequences that may arise.

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