Inviting partners - upsetting friends!! uh oh...

Oh good thanks so much Lynnie you've really put me at ease, was worrying me but i guess its more normal than I know!

Yeah like you say its the money thing too, we are at full numbers without partners let alone adding another £50 a head realistically!

I also kind of feel that i dont want to look back and not know who someone is in a picture if they broke up or not together long or if someone just brought a 'plus one' as it were!

Ok well we have set a rule that you have to have been with the partner for a year and we will have to have met them for them to qualify as a guest, as the majority of our guests no more that just us going alone should not be a major deal! Our decision is loosely based on money but more on the fact that we are only having 50 people there and they have to be the 50 most important people in our lives.... cousins that we do not keep in contact with ie have not seen for years are not invited, we want the people we cherish there.... we also didn't want to look at our photos 2 years from now and go oh who is that oh that is so and so ex ex boyfriend....

It is your day and you decide the guest list.... try not to bow down to pressure from family and friends and go with what will ultimately make you happy.

OMG weddings where guests have split up during reception, i shouldnt like this but sounds like a soap!!

So glad it's not just us thank god for these forums. thanks girlies

I think the year rule is a good one, the problem is can we have one rule for some and not others!

argh!! who ever thought it would be this difficult! x

As someone who's been there and done it, you really have to not take to heart what people say. I had the rule that unless people had been together 6 months/were living together, they weren't having a +1, and one of H's friends did ask if he was getting one - despite the fact he wasn't even seeing anyone! I don't know whether you're in a position to do this, but I let people who didn't fit those categories bring their gfs/bfs to the evening do.

Funnily enough there were 2 couples like that....and both have subsequently split up!

I think its a personal decision but you have to realize some ppl will get upset as couples tend to function differently. Personally it wasn't an issue for us when we got hitched as we knew all bar one (recently married but we hadn't met the BM's wife) but we don't tend to go to things separately so in the unlikely even of me or oh were singularly invited I would think it was odd and I wouldn't go.

I think of it as if you were going out for a celebration dinner you would not just invite a random person off the street to join you for dinner and pay for their dinner.... why are weddings any different....

Doodle - i do understand some couples are very much where you see 1 the other is not far away.... which is true of me and H2b, but my friend anna has been with her bf for 7 years long distance and in that time i have only met him twice.... she goes to parties without him if he is not about for the weekend, she said she would have to see if he was about for the weekend of the wedding if not she would come alone. Also I think if you have been to uni in two cities and only see friends rarely then it is more likely that if they have not been with there partner for a considerable amount of time then you will not have met them even if you have heard lots about them

I was invited to a friends wedding and my OH wasn't I went mental!! OH and myself were engaged and although my friend had never met him to me that was beside the point. We are tight on numbers and budget but all other halves are invited. Having said that they have all been together for quite a while so it is a bit different. SO long as you have a rule and stick to it I think that is fine, anyone who doesn't like it will just have to deal with it.

I think it's down to the individual guest and how often they get through partners.. If someone had a different boyfriend/girlfriend each week then no, they wouldn't get a +1. If they had been together a while/lived together/engaged/married/seemed solid then yes, they would be invited regardless of me ever meeting them before or not.

We were invited to a wedding a couple of months ago, the Bride and Groom had never met my OH but he was invited, which was lovely as numbers were tight and I doubt I would have gone alone.

We have been very strick with day guests as our capacity os only 50 people but we have invited extras for the evening, so maybe you could invite the OH for this person to the evening do only? It is difficult at weddings if its mostly couples and there are just a few people on their own so if your venue has capacity for more people in the evening i think this is cheap and easy option!

We have invited partners ourselves but did contemplate this. My OH was invited to a wedding that I wasn't invited to and I was a little put out initially but quickly realised why and understood. As we like to say.....it's YOUR DAY, YOUR WAY.