Inviting teachers - during term time

Many schools simply won’t allow teachers time off in term time so the decision may be out of their hands.


Personally, I think choosing a Thursday is unfair on all of your guests. Realistically they will need to take 2-3 days holiday to attend your wedding. That’s a big ask!
I know some people say ‘it’s your wedding, do what you like’ but I actually don’t fully agree with that sentiment. We invite guests to our wedding to support us in our commitment to our partner. In church weddings, as well the couple committing to each other, the guests all commit to supporting the couple in their relationship, for the rest of their lives. This is often more of an implication during civil wedding, but it’s still there. That’s a really important aspect IMO, and I think we should all be really consider our guests in our planning.

I am a teacher and I have been lucky enough to get time off and seen others ask for the odd day off for a special occasion and get it. I think it comes down to the school they are at and what they head is like.
If you have time to wait before you book maybe see if your friends can ask and let you know if it would be possible for them?
Fingers crossed for you! S x

I am not a teacher but we have purposefully chosen a Saturday in summer to marry as I also think marrying on a weekday and in term time is a bit of an ask. I don’t have teacher friends but my daughters will be a big part of my wedding so this was also important to me. My FH also only gets the standard 20 days holidays which means a weekday wedding would eat into his allocation whether it’s our wedding or we are guests!

Completely agree with the comments on Thursday being unfair on all your guests - we recently went to a Thursday wedding and the amount of leave we had to take really soured it for us and many others didn't bother going at all a result. You could really tell that the venue was no where near at capacity with tables looking sparse of people so there must have been a lot of declines, so be aware that you could have this issue regardless of whether your guests are teachers.

My MOH is a teacher and our wedding is the week before the summer holidays. We wanted to avoid summer holidays as our venue is in a popular holiday area so we didn't want accommodation costs to be at their highest for our guests. I specifically said we had to have a Saturday wedding as a result otherwise MOH wouldn't be able to come - he's been so appreciative of it as it means he can drive down after work on Friday and enjoy the full day.

As others have said it's incredibly difficult for teachers to take time off during term time, if you've got three teachers and one of them is best man then I really strongly think you need to have a Saturday wedding.

Please be considerate of your guests. They are such an important part of what will make your wedding day special, especially those who are in the wedding party and will be helping out so much too, and the mood of your guests will impact the vibe of your day. Remember that the cost of being a guest can be high - annual leave, outfits, taxis, accommodation, gift, cash bar - and they are doing that to celebrate you so I personally believe it's much better to spend more on a Saturday venue and cut down the amount of guests or make savings elsewhere to offset the cost.

I'd add that we actually checked our date with our wedding party before we confirmed it (venues are usually willing to hold a date for a few days) as these are people we deem important enough to be in our wedding and so we wouldn't have wanted to select a date that meant one of them couldn't come.

Just to add a different perspective in here about the unfairness of weekday weddings but to chime into the same sentiment of being fair to your guests (we’re getting married on a weekday so I am biased as a disclaimer).
I would also consider what other guests you have. A large proportion (about 65% if not more) of our guests aren’t a Monday-Friday worker, we personally are, but none of the family we have attending are, in fact most of them struggle to ask for a Saturday off, as it’s rota based (healthcare workers, bus drivers, kitchen/bathroom designer, factory workers, security workers are all part of the family).
This has meant keeping it to our closest friends and family, no random work colleagues who you’ll forget in 5yrs or people we haven’t seen in over 2-3yrs so less people to grumble at me thankfully.
Circling back to your point about teachers specifically, I would ask them about their options regarding term time off especially if they’re super important people to you & maybe if possible budget wise & availability wise, I’d maybe consider the Friday, so it’s only one day off rather than two for them. Most venues let you hold a date without a deposit for a few days to about a week, so if you were able to let your teacher friends know they could hopefully come back to you within that time (outside of the current Easter holidays of course).
Good luck with finding a date that works for everyone! Just remember you aren’t gonna make everyone happy!

View quoted message Thank you so much for your input and your additional perspective.


Most of our family and friends don’t work typical 9-5 roles and are rota based so any time is going to be inconvenient for them.
We do have some colleagues that weld invite from our Monday-Friday 9-5 roles but we’d be getting married at a time of the year where that wouldn’t be an issue for them.
Our teacher friends are the hardest to accommodate for but we’d love them to be there, doing it in the summer holidays increases the price beyond what is reasonable, the price for a Friday is still roughly £1600 extra and then I’d need to invite 10-15more guests which adds another £800-£1200 to the cost. It’s not just a matter of cost, there probably aren’t 10 more people I’d like to invite.

View quoted message Remember your day is about you and your partner and you have to do what is right for you, you can't please everyone! If having your friend there as best man is important then I'd definitely say to check with him and see if the head will honour it. It's a one off and they might have a very generous headteacher!
I am with you on the cost and numbers too! We only have about 70 at most, and I would struggle to invite another 10 just to make up numbers for a package deal, not to mention be less happy about the cost!
S x

I am having a Thursday wedding in the school holidays. We picked this date because a lot of my family and friends are teachers and wouldn't be able to come in term time. We cannot afford our venue on a Saturday as it is £8k more expensive on a weekend, which is just out of our budget. So a Saturday was always off the table.

I spoke to my friends when I booked a Thursday as I was worried people wouldn't come, but they all said they would be happy to book 1 or 2 days off work and as everyone is pretty local to where we are getting married, there isn't much travelling involved.

I think if it puts your mind at ease, then speak to people who you want to invite before you book your venue, just to get an idea if a weekday term time is okay for them, then you can manage your expectations about how many people can attend. I think you will be surprised by the amount of people who are willing to book a few days off work to go to a wedding.

I live in Essex and one of my friends lives in Wales. Her wedding is a weekday and my fiancé and I are booking 3 days off to go up to Wales for her wedding. Personally I have no issues with this and I think most people will agree.

We are having a Monday wedding in term time. There is only a very small amount of people this is likely to be an issue for, obviously we would've loved to set a date that would suit everyone, but for a weekend / school holiday date it was an extra £1000 - £2000, which we can't afford!
I don't agree with the statements above about it being unfair picking a weekday wedding, as I'm sure everyone can understand, weddings are very expensive, and if it works best for you having a weekday then go for it!

I don’t think it matters what day you pick, you will never be able to keep everyone happy. We have friends who work in hotels who struggle to get weekends off but we have friends in teaching who struggled to get weekdays off . Xx

We have chosen a Monday in October half term. I have many children in my family and wanted to at least give a shot at being able to cater to the families. Yes there's plenty of people invited who work mon-fri 9 to 5 but we also didn't want to pay the extra 3 grand on top of the already very expensive wedding to have a weekend. If they come, they come. I don't think it's right to suggest it's unfair on guests picking a week day. There's plenty of reasons, a big part of it being financial that people pick weekdays. Can't win em' all! If they can come and they want to make the effort they will.


Do what's best for you and your partner. X

Midweek weddings can work, but only if you consider your guest list - the majority of our guests were retired, self-employed or don't do Mon-Fri 9-5 type jobs, so a midweek term-time wedding was no more or less convenient for them than a weekend. (Also, apart from those living abroad, who would need to take several days off anyway if they came, everyone else lived a maximum of 2 hours away and we were planning our lunchtime reception to be over by 5, so they'd only need 1 day off ) If we'd been looking to invite a lot of teachers or office workers, for example, we would have gone for a weekend wedding instead.

In your case, I would think hard about your guest list and who you really want to attend. If having your teacher friend as best man is very important to you, then you do need to talk to him before setting a date and find out if he is likely to be able to make a term-time one. If not, then you are going to have to weigh up which is more important to you - keeping your significant date and not having your best man attend or losing the significant date but having your friend able to be best man.

We are having a week day wedding - a Thursday in November this year. Firstly I find it unfair and a little ridiculous to suggest that the guests and their availability should be top priority!
Ultimately this is your day. If this day has significant meaning to you and your partner then it should be on this day. If your guests love you and want to be a part of your day then they will. Whether it's a weekday or a weekend. They always have the option of saying no.
I understand a teacher would have more of an issue but surely with enough time and notice you would hope that something could be sorted.The extra cost of a weekend wedding could be the difference between your perfect dress, or the flowers you always wanted, or the perfect honeymoon. Choose your day for you and your partne.Have fun with all your planning!

Have you considered have a later ceremony and reception - if you start later if the day? Maybe the teachers can make it? You can always have other guest attend earlier in the day if it's a relaxed affair

If they are your good friends they’ll understand and would try to ask for time off or pull a sickie.

I’m a teacher and while we can’t just have days off whenever we like in term time, I have known plenty of people get days off for weddings, especially when they’re in the wedding party.


I’m having a midweek wedding (Thursday this week), obviously in the holidays and there have been very few guests that have declined due to not being able to get time off work.We would have loved to get married on a Saturday, but it would have doubled the venue cost.
I’d go for it if I were you. Xx

View quoted message Thank you so much for your advice, I hope your wedding goes well Thursday xx

View quoted message Thank you so much for your advice xx

View quoted message I had considered later in the day, one of my teacher friends live a while away and would need to get the full day off.

View quoted message Thank you so much for your advice xx

View quoted message Thank you so much for your advice xx
I’ve checked with him and he said he’d move heaven and earth to be there so we’ve booked the Thursday

View quoted message Thank you so much for your advice xx

View quoted message Thank you for your advice, I get what you’re saying. £3000 more for 2 days difference just is not worth it for us. My BM has said he will make the Thursday, as for other guests they don’t work the generic 9-5 so would likely have to book a day off regardless of the date.

I really think people bemoaning the fact that they have to take extra day leave for a weekday wedding is a bit of an insult from them! You would think they would be pleased to have a couple of days holiday with something really nice to enjoy during it! Agree that some teachers may not be able to get the time off but I wouldn't see this as unfair. If they cant make it then it is just unfortunate. Weekend weddings are a ridiculous additional price that you should not have to spend if, like the majority, it is just too costly.

How often do we get an invite to a wedding, not that often for most people I think. If we are going to moan about taking time of work to use to celebrate one person's commitment to another then it's a very sad world!

View quoted message Thank you so much for your advice xx


I completely agree, it’s a joyous occasion for leave and much more enjoyable than booking a day off to mow the lawn or taking the car to the garage etc.
I get that a Saturday would be nicer, and we could afford to do it on a Saturday but we wouldn’t be able to pay for things like canapés/a nice drinks reception/varied food options.
We want it to be a great day for our guests and make it as easy as we can for them but it’s our day.

Yep, I am actually a teacher myself and so we going with a weekday out of term time but I am not exaggerating when I say tge cost for previous Saturday would have been around 8k higher!

One of my best friends is a teacher and she can request the day off unpaid for a wedding, which I am very thankful she is willing to do x

View quoted message Totally agree!!

I just feel I really need to weigh on on all the comments to the effect of "if people really care, they'll take off leave/pull a sickie and should be happy to do so" - I do get where this is coming from. It's fine if you're their only wedding/important event of the year but you might not be.

For example, I have a colleague who's got FIVE close friends/family members getting married THIS YEAR. Two are proper destination weddings so she's taking multiple days off for those as the weddings are multi day events abroad. Three are midweek weddings that aren't local to her and so require three days off. PLUS she has multi-day hens for all of them so that's even more days off needed! Basically, she's using up the majority of her annual leave on these weddings which also means she and her own OH are struggling to be able to do a holiday of their own choosing and it's such a shame to hear her moaning and debating declining before going to any of these events because the cumulative impact of all of these inconsiderate weddings makes each one more frustrating than it would have been if it was the only one. Don't get me wrong, she's enjoyed everything she's been to so far, but you can tell it's really wearing thin and we're not even in peak wedding season yet.

I know you might think "it's just three days" of leave for the guests and it'll save me x amount to get married midweek, but you might be one of many important people in your guests' lives that is thinking the same thing. That's why it's crucial to be considerate to your guests - of course your wedding is the most important day to YOU and it should be what you want it to be but your guests may be being pushed and pulled in all sorts of directions for many other peoples most important day too (or important birthday, etc). I'd rather be the wedding that's considerate and exciting to go to, rather than frustrating and possibly the straw that broke the camel's back.

This is why, personally, it was a no brainer for us to go for the 50 person wedding on a Saturday over the 70 person wedding on a Thursday - I'd rather have less people (cutting the obligation extended family invites) and be able to treat those who are invited better and feel more confident they'll be able/want to attend for the same money. You may decide this approach isn't for you, but you should think about and be aware of the impact it'll have on your guests (and therefore your RSVPs) as part of the decision making.

Don't want to offend anyone but just felt I should put it out there x

I am a teacher and the school will allow rime off with proof of being part of the wedding or a close friend. As long as admin are notified in advance most schools are actually OK with it. I'm a teacher and I'm getting married on a Wednesday in the school holidays, not convinent for a lot of people but no one has complained and everyone has made it work xx

View quoted message Thank you so much for your your response, that’s really put me at ease xx

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It really depends on the guest list and on the circumstances of the couple getting married.

It would be unreasonable to book any wedding date without checking if those closest to your can attend - the ones you really can't imagine getting married without. But a wedding invitation isn't a royal command - invitees are free to turn down invitations if they would find it too difficult to accept for whatever reason.

It's a bit like having a child-free wedding - nothing wrong with the couple having one, but if they have a lot of guests with young children, they need to expect a high number of people to decline attending.

In our case, it was actually easier/as easy for most of our guests to attend a midweek wedding - we had a couple of church ministers, including the one who married us (who tend to be very busy on Saturdays prepping for Sundays) two musicians (who usually have gigs Friday-Sunday), a couple of farming families (cows don't know the difference between the week and weekend!), and everyone else was either retired or had very flexible working hours.

One of my cousins got married the Tuesday after Easter - they're both teachers, so it made sense to have the wedding during the Easter holidays, as so many of their guests were teachers too. I couldn't attend, as Easter was the busiest time for my work and I couldn't get time off - but it didn't occur to me to complain that they should have had their wedding on a different date. They had it on a day that worked for them and for the people they most wanted to attend.