Inviting work mates to your wedding...

Hi,

I have absolutely no advice but I am in a very similar position! I work in a small organisation and it's all women and I don't want to offend people but there are only a few I would actually class as friends. However, I get on with everyone and am very aware that there is at least one person there who would be offended if I invited some people but not her (and she would probably be quite vocal about it....probably why I'm not particularly close to her in the first place!)

It's a bit of a tricky situation and I haven't quite decided how to play it yet but I think I'm going to invite them all (but not partners) to the evening only......saying that, I think a couple have assumed they will be invited to the whole thing so I'm dreading the invites!

I had this, and if it helps I work in a law firm too.

In our office there were 10 people. 1 owner boss, 6 lawyers and 3 secs, so a very small office, although other offices.

I invited:-

4 lawyers

1 sec.

They were the people I socialised with outside of the work. I couldn't invite them all on the basis they are pleasant enough to make small-talk in the kitchen with. I invited the ones I actually considered my friends, eg socialise outside of work, contacted outside of work etc.

It was hard because I was actually inviting literally half of the people in my office, but most were too polite to make a big deal of it, and one showed her true colours by getting in a huff with me for 2 weeks about it. i would have never have invited her because she was not my friend. Plus, when I got engaged, she was the one shouting out loudly in the office "SOO, ARE YOU GONNA INVITE US LOT THEN???" cue me running away.

I think I am just inviting one lady from my work as we get on really well. I get on well with other colleagues but we are having a smallish wedding and can't afford to invite anymore. Noone would be bothered anyway as they aren't like that. It's your day don't be pressured into doing what you think you have to, it's your day. I will give the lady who is going the chance to bring a guest but she will chat away with anyone whatever their age or whatever.

I have this too. I work in a large high street retailer. In all we have about 30 staff over various shifts, a large number of them only do a couple of short shifts a week and these tend to be the ones I actually get on best with (probably because there is really no time for office politics to become involved), of the ones I work full-time with there is maybe only 2 I want to invite but I know this will then cause even more drama. I'm coming to the conclusion that I might not bother inviting any of them!

this was so me! but horrid vocal woman got over it!

Plus, i told the invitees to keep it on the "down-low" and be a bit sensitive to it.

I'm in a very similar situation. I'm a teacher with a total staff at the school of approximately 30. I get on very well with my TA one 3 other colleagues on my team but only one of them would I consider a social friend. I get on with everybody at my school though, just not enough to invite them to my wedding! Besides, nobody has actually asked about my wedding at all or even know when/where it is taking place (shows how much we just talk shop at work!)

We are only having 50 guests in total (ceremony and evening combined) so we're not inviting people willy-nilly. I have decided NOT to invite anybody from work at all for 2 reasons. Firstly, I don't feel you can only invite some but not all (it needs to be nobody or everybody in my opinion), especially as everybody would be asking/talking about it afterwards which would be a bit mean to those who weren't invited. And secondly, just in case things don't pan out at my place of work 10-15 years down the line, I don't want to look at my wedding photos in the future and have my memories tainted when I look at my work colleagues because they may or may not come to represent a negative time in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love where I work, but you never know how things might turn out in the future and I would rather keep my wedding separate from my work life and colleagues.

Something I am keeping in the back of my mind (which you may also want to consider) is... do these people know about my relationship ups and downs with my fiance? Do they even know his name? Do these people know the names of my other close friends and relatives? Would their presence actually enhance my happiness on the day rather than just add to the numbers? The answer to these questions, for me, is NO. Only people who answer yes to these questions will be coming. The others will just have to enjoy my photos afterwards!

I think work colleagues is a big dilemma for most people planning a wedding.

Personally I work in an open plan office and my department is made up of 4 teams with about 40<50 people so no way I was going to invite everyone even if I liked everyone (which I don't) I wouldn't want my wedding resembling a staff party.

My team is is made up of 7 people including me and out of the other 6 I get on well with 3 (including my manager) the other 3 just never make an effort or attend social gatherings so part of me thinks why bothering inviting them if they can not be arsed to make an effort (although I don't dislike any of them just don't know them as well as the others). But to avoid any politics I have just invited my whole team but I am secretly hoping the 3 I don't care about wont attend.

It's a bit annoying as I get on really well with another 2 people from other teams who I would really like to invite but I know if I do it will just create to much politics I have already had a few people from other teams (who I don't even like) asking me where their invite is. At least now I can say "sorry I only have the capacity to invite my team" I don't know what I would say if I was confronted if I just invited people I liked "err sorry I didn't invite you because I think you're a Twunt"

I work with a bunch of complete r-soles, so this is actually paying off right now as none of them are invited - saving me a fortune! I have talked them through the selection of fine wines and the 5 course menu that we will be enjoying WITHOUT THEM! hahahahahaha. How to make friends and influence people.

However I would say invite those you socialise with outside work. This means that people will say 'yeah, but she sees such and such outside of work..etc'

xxx

This is something I've been thinking a lot about too. I'm a nurse and there are about 30 staff on my unit, all of which I work with regularly, some I am very friendly with at work, others I just get along with for the sake of work, and I don't socialise with any of them outside of work except on "official work dos" like Christmas.

The first thing I was asked by a few people at work when I announced my engagement was "Ooh are you having a do then, can we come?" which made me cringe a little as the answer was no. We will only have about 30 people in total at our wedding, so only very close friends and family and OH and I both said straight away nobody that one of us hasn't met, so that rules out colleagues anyway.

I would like to invite one maybe two people from work but it would inevitably get back to others who I wouldn't want to be there and it would definitely cause friction, so I decided I will not invite any of them. I explained that I am having a very, very small wedding and some of my outside acquaintances won't even be invited and one or two people commented on it but you know what, my 'real friends' will completely understand that.

I work in a gang of 13 incl me in a nursery- my boss and husband came to day- rest to the evening- and it was more handy cos we got wed on a Friday and obviously you couldn't close the place, another college of mine got wed on a sat and we all got invited to the day do- I guess it depends how close you are to your work friends.

My boss and her hubby, plus another of the directors are invited to the day. The other 20 or so are invited to the evening but I get on very well with my colleagues so wouldn't have it any other way!

I work in quite a small company too, there are 9 people excluding me and I've invited them to the evening but without partners. I think they were ok with that. Some have partners and some don't so I didn't want the ones without to feel awkward. Plus when you invite all the partners it just gets a bit too much.

Smaller companies are actually a lot harder than bigger companies, as with the latter you couldn't possibly be expected to invite everyone.

I also work in a law firm. H and I are 2 of 8 solicitors. There are about 10 support staff, including secretaries, receptionists and accounts staff. H's father is one of the founding partners, so we invited his other founding partner and his wife to the day. We invited the other solicitors plus partners to the evening and invited the rest of the staff minus partners to the evening. As it happened, most of them couldn't come (we deliberately sent our invitations out quite late in the hope that some people wouldn't be able to make it!)

I work in a small stationery shop, there are only 7,members of staff including me. I get on well with everyone and will be inviting everyone to the reception but my deputy (who I get on with more than my boss as we have a lot in common) did mention the actual ceremony. We're hoping to get married on a Friday which is her day off but wasn't inviting anyone to the ceremony...bit I wouldn't mind her coming..! I don't want to put anyone else out, but they can't exactly shut the shop as the company woujldnt have been impressed lol! Should I just stick to having them all to the reception? We have friends on our guest list that are just mine, both and my Fiance's. He said we don't seem to have many friends coming out the ceremony, he's got more than me! We have nearly 50 guests for the ceremony already!