is anyone not having a gift list???

Im afraid we are being blunt and asking for cash.?

But I did see something in a poem about this and a line that goes:

"Its your precence not your presents that will delight us on our wedding day"

Hope that helps a bit x

Although just looking at it not sure Ive spelt the first "precence" right but you get my drift x

We didnt mention anything about gifts in the invitation but had a section on our website. Something along the lines of...

"We don't actually have a Gift List as we have lived together for nearly 7 years so please don't feel that you need to bring a gift. Your company on the day is the most important thing for us.

If you would like to bring a gift, a contribution towards our honeymoon fund would be brilliant, a voucher for Debenhams or a small gift of your choice if you prefer. "

Everyone we have spoken to has been more than happy to give money.

HTH

Mx

We didn't have a guest list. We thought about adding something to the info sheets but in the end just ignored the subject completely.

People did ask what we wanted and were told "nothing".

In the end we had over £1000 worth of money, vouchers and gift certificates!

We also worded ours like that, I still felt cheeky though!!!

We didn't put anything re gifts in the invite; if people asked we said money or vouchers as we've been togeather 8 years.

We got mostly money, Champers and a few unique presents which we loved (beautiful wooden candel holders made by a friends dad, a lava lamp lol and a few others).

Personally I not fussed, if I don't like the idea of giving money (for whatever reason at the time) I get something nice but useful but I know some people get offended if you ask outright.

We just didn't mention anything about gifts or money. Some gave vouchers but we also had some amazing presents that I would never have thought of.

I got asked for the first time last night "do you have a gift list or should we just buy you something?"

I replied saying we don't have a gift list as we didn't feel right asking for gifts. All we really want is for you to attend and enjoy the day with us so please don't feel like you have to buy us anything.

Perhaps you could say something like this?

My daughter has opened an account at Trailfinders holiday company and they have given her free leaflets with their names and date of wedding on telling people that an account has been opened and if they would like to contribute, how to do it. It doesn't directly ask for money but a lot of their friends suggested giving them money for their honeymoon so this way, people can contribute without the Bride and Groom knowing how much or even if they have or not. They are just going to slip one of these leaflets inside the directions to the venue. They don't want any material gifts either as they have lived together for 4 years and didn't like asking for vouchers/cash etc so it kills two birds with one stone so to speak!

We're not. Im really anti lists/money requests personally. I think it's cheeky and presumptuous (oddly only as a bride but not as a guest). I definitely can't stand the tween poems though - as a bride or as a guest.

The was I see it is that I wouldn't send out a gift list for a birthday party, so why should I for a wedding?

That said, if Mr CB would let me have it at Berry Bros & Rudd wine merchants then I'd definitely be having a list!

We're not having a gift list, we're popping a little note in with our invites saying something like this (I can't remember exactly)

'As we've lived together for a few years we've acquired most things we need for our home. Your presence at our wedding is more than enough of a gift to us however if you wish to give us something as celebration of our marriage then a monetary contribution which we can put towards home improvements and our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated. Please do not feel obliged to buy us a gift as you sharing our special day with us is all that we ask' x

We just left it out completely. If people want to buy you something they will ask you or your parents. And if there is no gift list I think people generally automatically tend to give money/vouchers rather than a gift. That is what we found.

We just told our parents that if anyone asked we were hoping to buying a new wardrobe and fridge so money or vouchers towards them would be appreciated. And we told people this if they asked.

We're undecided on this. I don't like the idea of asking for anything (except maybe charitable donations), but if I'm invited to a wedding, a gift list makes it so much easier. We've already been asked twice what we want and there's still a year to go before the wedding! I suspect what we'll do is put together a small list of not too expensive items and direct people to it if they ask. I'm not putting info about it in the invites though.

We're not having a list, we didn't have anything on our invites/info sheets either. If people ask we are requesting donations to the British Heart Foundation (a very very important charity to us, as our guests will understand). I know H2Bs Nan wants to give us some money, and a few people at work have donated and given us a gift (not opened yet though!)

Damn why didn't I think of this? That's an amazing idea.. although I'm sure my liver would disagree. Only snag is they don't do my favourite - Mud House.

We've not got a gift list as such but if people have asked, we have said that we wouldn't mind John Lewis vouchers.

This is exactly what we did. We got things off the (small) gift list, some really nice presents off the list, and quite a lot of money and vouchers. I didn't like to ask for anything, but people did ask if we had a list. And having been on the other side, a list makes it much easier for guests. It's a bit different to a birthday as people want to buy things for you as a couple when they may only know one of you well enough to buy a present, and appropriate birthday presents are not necessarily appropriate wedding presents. Hence why the gift list is useful ?

We hate the thought of asking for things - but at the same time would love to receive things! haha... anywho we were torn between the Money for Honeymoon and gift list options (I'm sure I could think of plenty of things I want!! ?

We are now thinking we will put a note saying please speak to our parents regarding gifts. We will give our parents a small list of gifts we like, but they also know how much we are excited by our honeymoon. I'm trusting my mum's discretion in she will tell the right people which thing to opt for so noone gets offended. ?

Damn why didn't I think of this? That's an amazing idea.. although I'm sure my liver would disagree. Only snag is they don't do my favourite - Mud House.

We've not got a gift list as such but if people have asked, we have said that we wouldn't mind John Lewis vouchers.

Damn why didn't I think of this? That's an amazing idea.. although I'm sure my liver would disagree. Only snag is they don't do my favourite - Mud House.

We've not got a gift list as such but if people have asked, we have said that we wouldn't mind John Lewis vouchers.

We aren't having a gift list and were planning to not mention it in our invites but after speaking to a few people at work they have been trying to persuade me to put a poem in. As guests might not like asking or you could just end up with lots of photo frames/towels etc

I'm still indecided ?

They make me cringe. I don't get the dressing up of asking for cold, hard cash. If that's what you want to ask for, then just ask nicely. There's no need to dress it up in forced rhyming stanza where words are forced into an unnatural order just to make it sound less mercenary!

Whilst I'm on a ranty roll, I don't like the condescending ones eg 'So please put some money in a card. Now make a wish - see, it wasn't that hard'.

Aaarrrggghhhhhh.

Just not my style at all. Some people love them, I'm just not one of them.

Same here for us

We have lived together for years and just didn't put anything in our invitations. A few people asked for ideas and we honestly did say 'nothing please'. I find asking for presents in anyway quite rude and it wasn't something we felt comfortable with. I appreciate it does make it easier if you can buy from a list but we still didn't like it. Mainly we got vouchers or money and got a couple of presents.

I think putting in invitations the whole presence not presents stuff but give us cash a bit odd. If people mean presence not presents just don't say anything at all because otherwise it's totally contradictory.

We havent asked for anything and now we keep getting questions like "Why dont you have a gift list" "what can we get you" I would suggest putting something in, even if it is just gift vouchers or money. At the end of the day people are going to get you something so it may as well be something you want. I just wished we had put something in! x

We've left it out completely. The people who have asked we have been honest and said atm we don't have the space, I recently moved out of my place and in with OH full time (rather than 4 days a week!) so we already have 2 of everything and lots of stuff in storage. We've said anything you want or money to put towards nicer things when we buy our house in the next few years. Everyone knows us and our situation and they're fine.

Wow!! i popped out for the afternoon and came back to loads of replies!!!!!thanks for all your feedback

i think im going to not mention it at all on the invite and if anyone asks i will say we are asking for nothing...tbh i will be so grateful that some people have moved holidays to be there, others are coming from miles away and need to stay in a hotel and loads have offered so much help towards the day that to then ask for presents wouldnt feel right.

my friend told me today she put on her invite something along the lines of "we are not wanting gifts on our wedding day, instead we ask that all our guests to keep their fingers crossed for glorious weather!

if you think the poems are a bit naff i think this is quite a sweet idea?

Our best man has offered to sort out the gift issue for us and has said to put his name and contact details on the invitation and tell people to phone him for gift ideas.

We really want money for our honeymoon, but we have to pay the balance 8 weeks before the wedding and we feel awkward telling people that if they want to pay towards to honeymoon they'll have to do it by a certain date. Our BM said 'leave it to me!'. ?

We aren't. We didn't put anything in our invitations and have had a lot of people ask us if we have a gift list. My parents have told most people we are after money to go toward honeymoon or house deposit but for the people that would rather get us something (has tended to be the older generation) we have come up with ideas. E.g a new cutlery set (OH is desperate for heavy knives and forks!)

This is only for the people who like the poems (sorry to anyone who doesn't!!)

"We know you've heard this all before

'Please don't give gifts, we need no more'

But, we really mean it when we say

All we want is you there on our wedding day

So please come to our wedding, eat, drink & dance

But just bring yourselves and enjoy the romance"

We aren't having a gify list so I made this up but I'm not sure whether to include it in the invites or to just not mention it at all........

Ahhh PH - a girl after my own heart! I hate the contradictory way people ask for stuff "We don't want any presents, but if you want to buy something we'll have this specific item from this specific shop please!"

I've been invited to the evening do of a guy at work and his info sheet included gift list srtuff - it made me smile reading it - i loved it!

Any contribution towards our Honeymoon would be appreciated greatly... Please give generously and include any Bonuses you may have received ?

This is how i feel......i just couldnt say please dont get us anything, then reel off a list of stuff i really want!!!!!

i had a friend who got married 18 months ago and sent out a TEXT before the wedding asking for money towards them moving house, she still hasnt moved and her house isnt even on the market!!!!

That's disgusting, Amythest.

I had a friend who asked for cash (and did one of those poems...) as it was going towards her new kitchen. It didn't go towards that, it went towards rounds of drinks and shopping etc! I'm still cross about it now!

We didn't have a gift list either - we said to people that cos we each had a house we had 2 of most things so weren't looking for any gifts however if anybody wanted to give us something then they could contribute to our new home or honeymoon and we gave a list of a few places for vouchers. We also said- if there was anything you see that you think we would like then that would be much appreciated.

I think the bottom line is that even if you say you don't want anything your guests will want to buy something for you anyway. I know I wouldn't go to a wedding without buying something.