is anyone not having a gift list???

Sal whilst I don't like poems I don't mind that one because it doesn't have the ending line of

'so whilst your presence is more important we knew some will want to buy us gifts and our preference is x, y or z'

We had some guests that came to our wedding and didn't give us a gift and do you know something I LOVED that. They came and enjoyed (well I hope they enjoyed) the day and didn't feel obliged to buy us something'. I can't really put how I feel into words but I honestly didn't mind at all and I feel that we treated some people to a free meal, entertainment and a nice day out which is what weddings are all about.

I didn't mind gift lists until I became a bride and then my opinions changed.

GB I'm so relieved I wasn't flamed! x

That's brilliant!! Lol.

I am a little unsure on this particular issue as well. As a guest I'm really irritated if there is no list or voucher request, as then I have to make the effort to contact whoever it is to find out what they want. I also do not like gift lists and would prefer to get the couple vouchers (or contribute to some savings fund) - there may not be a gift on the list matching the amount that I wish to spend. At least with vouchers I can spend the exact amount I wish to spend. Also, the couple aren't left having to purchase half the tea set after the wedding, because their guests only bought 4 out of the 6 tea cups! lol.

As the bride, I feel uneasy about including a request. We probably will, and we are likely to set up a honeymoon fund with our travel operator. We will have been together for 11 years and lived together for 4 years by the time we get married. We barely have enough space as it is in our 2 bedroom flat, so goodness knows where we will put more stuff (and stuff that we probably don't need).

xx

Well I feel totally shamed faced for being honest and saying we are asking for cash!!

My mum, dad and best friends are letting people know that we havent a gift list and suggesting not demanding that we get money/vouchers.

The precence not presents thing was just a suggestion.

Sorry if Ive offended anyone

x

Not mentioned anything about it with our invitations at all cos this is my second marriage and, although its nearly 20 years since my first one, my family and friends have already bought presents for me once so I feel its a bit cheeky to be honest.

When anyones asked Ive just said we would rather they came to the wedding, had a few drinks, enjoy the day and spend the money on either a taxi fare home or on staying over if they would prefer.

It is a difficult one and I think its personal choice - theres no right and wrong - its whatever you feel happy with as a couple.

Me and dp have discussed this matter on many occasions but we would prefer not to ask for anything or have a gift list.

We did buy the little card with poems asking for cash as we have been together nearly 9 years and have everything we need, but in all honesty i would prefer cash as this would go to the IVF fund to have another attempt.

Anyhow this idea was scrapped after visiting my gran who was appalled at recieving a wedding invitaion from another relative with a poem inside for cash ( cannot repeat the comment ??) but lets say it made me change my mind swiftly !!!

xx

fluffy malone you have not offended anyone, your opinions, views and beliefs are very welcome here, not everyone always agrees on things, I don't agree with you BUT I am not offended!

Please don't feel bad! x

Thanks saracroft.

I would hate to upset anyone on here cos love it!!

This is the first time Ive ever joined a forum group, but will stop being so bloody sensitive lol cos as you say its all about different opinions and veiws.

Thanks again feel a whole heap better for you replying

x

I didnt put in a gift list as i thought it was cheeky to just ask outright for people to bring things. For my wedding most of the guests are travelling from one end of the country to the other so i just said i'd prefr them to be there as i know its costing money to come. But i also know that if people have asked my dad he's suggested vouchers to help buy things for our new flat and first home together.

But when a gift list was first mention my H2B mum and dad said " You have to do one and put things on like washing machine tumble dryer fridge tv etc etc on it " my reply was your joking right no they were been deadly serious so it was def a no go for a gift list right there as if you ask people for a washing machine. (sorry if anyone has)

xx

We are not having a gift list but have asked people to give money to cancer research in celebration. You can set up a web page and people can see how much has been given in total and and who has given (but not how much individually). We thought this was a nice way to help others when we dont need anything ourselves. Its all explained really well on the web site www.giveincelebration.cancerresearchuk.org you can have a look at our page if it helps https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/celebration/CL00003991

Good luck in deciding what to do.

L

Glad to have helped ?

We are currently debating this point. I dont want to put anything in, whereas OH wants to ask for monetary contributions. Im not so sure and would like to leave it to chance, but if people do ask then we would like to say money/vouchers would be more appropriate as we have lived together for yonks. Deffo not having a gift list tho - they couldnt afford my expensive taste.....lmao ;-)

im afraid we are doing the gift list thing. went to debenhams and sorted it there on saturday!! I have a house of my own and have a lot of stuff, but a lot of it is cheaper stuff, which wont last, so putting good stuff on my list.

If you're not comfortable with a gift list or asking for money, you could say something like, "Your presence on this special day means the world. As I've lived together for some time and have everything needed, please don’t feel obligated to bring a gift. Your company is the greatest gift. If you'd like to give something, a small token like a classic oud agarwood scented candle would be appreciated." This wording is clear and considerate, without making guests feel pressured.