Is it ok to request bridesmaids find own shoes?

I think so but there are people out there who will disagree. The bridesmaids on don't tell the bride always kick off when the groom has forgotten to get shoes...

The thing is, they may already have acceptable shoes in their wardrobe that are already broken in. If you were dictating the style of shoe then perhaps you would need to be the one to get them, but if it's just "find some comfy shoes you like" then they'll probably just wear some they already have (unless they really want an excuse to go shoe shopping).

I'd say it's fine since you're paying for the most expensive parts of their outfits

Yes! I asked my bridesmaids to get their own shoes, and having been a bridesmaids 3 times before, I've never had shoes bought for me (nor would I expect them to unless they wanted specfic shoes).

If you want them to buy a specfic shoe then yes, you should pay. If not, then it's fine as they may have some suitable already.

I am lucky as my adult bridesmaid offered to buy all of the dresses etc for my bridesmaids I did want to get her some really nice shoes as a gift however.

Most people I know bought their dresses but the bridesmaid provided their own shoes, and were told we're all buying silver/black etc and it was up to them to sort it themselves. I think it's fine asking the little girls parents to sort the shoes and tights too - shoe fittings can be really changeable depending on style and shop and also there's lots of styles children aren't comfortable in.

The way I've always seen it is, if you want to have a say in how it looks, you pay. If you don't mind what shoes they wear, by all means ask them to sort themselves out. I don't think it's a problem.

I paid for dress and hair for my bridesmaids as I wanted them to look how I pictured. Makeup and shoes I didn't care, so that was up to them. It helped that they had long dresses, so the shoes weren't really seen anyway.

I think it's much easier for them to get their own shoes, so long as they have a choice. You can't really specify colour/make but if you're not bothered then let them find their own.

I agree. I think it's totally acceptable to ask your bridesmaids to buy their own shoes.

Shoes are quite a personal thing. I have very sensitive feet and would hate the thought of having to spend my best friends' wedding day with sore feet. I would much rather choose my own.

I think it's definitely acceptable. I have 4 bridesmaids and 2 flower girls and I already know the bridesmaids are happy to choose and pay for their shoes. I was a bridesmaid for my sister and paid for my shoes, but she picked them out for me and I hated them!

I'll be buying their dresses but I'm going to be doing my own makeup so have said if they want someone to do theirs they'll need to cover that - not sure if that's harsh or not? I would do theirs too but time will be super tight + stress etc.

i say as long as you give them a suggestion they'll be happy to pay - they can choose the style most suitable for them then! xx

It depends:

• if you are asking them to wear something they already own then its fine
• if you are asking them specifically to buy something new then its not ok

Hi - good question! I have actually just been through this as well, with four bridesmaids all of very different heights and ages. My solution was to buy them matching multiway dresses plus matching ballet pumps. I found mine in H&M for £8.99 a pair, and they are actually really nice. I have just said to them all that they have the option either of wearing the ballet pumps all day, or of wearing (their own) heels for the first part of the day and switching to the ballet pumps later. (And we have also ordered the dresses in lengths which will accommodate that.)

My bridesmaids have all been perfectly happy with this. Two of them (one who is around 5ft 3" but is only 18, and one who is not 18 but who is 5' 11" in her socks!) are planning to wear the ballet shoes all day, and the other two (both in their 30s, both around 5ft) are planning on wearing their own heels at first and then switching down when the heels become too much.

This does mean that I won't have any say in what sort of style or colour shoes the two who will be in heels will be wearing (although only because I don't feel that I want to dictate to those two what they should wear, given that I won't be paying for them) but otherwise as far as I'm concerned this is a great outcome overall and I'm delighted - and it has got me out of feeling as if I have to choose and potentially pay for four pairs of expensive shoes which probably wouldn't have suited everyone anyway!

Good luck xx

I'm happy for them to wear what they feel comfortable in and I trust they ahve good taste. I'm not giving them a shoe brief so I think I'll ask them if they're happy to buy their own

Hi,

I've asked my bridesmaids to sort their own shoes - thy're all wearing the same multi-way dress but in different ways so i'm happy for them to wear shoes which they're comfortable in and make them feel like themselves. They know the colour scheme and i trust them not to get anything ridiculous! With log dresses you'll barely see shows anyway!

I bought my bridesmaids their shoes but actually wish I'd just asked them to sort themselves out. I think it would of been easier for them to pick something they felt more comfortable in, I gave them lots of choices for what I would buy but feel like they just went along with what each other said and their shoes are pretty high!! eek!

It's depends,my friends send me one pair of dream pairs pumps shoes when i was be a bridesmaid for her wedding ,also you can try rentting shoes and clothes for your bridesmaids.

I agree with everyone else; if you’re not dictating what they have to buy/wear then that’s fine as they can pick something that they like/is comfortable and can wear again.

I’ve been in both situations; I was one of only two bridesmaids and the bride paid for everything for us. I have also been one of six bridesmaids where the bride paid for our dresses, jewellery and hair and asked us to get our own shoes. I already had shoes that went so it didn’t cost me anything.

I was also a bridesmaid for my aunt and she got us the dress and that was it. She expected us to pay for our own alterations until my mum stepped in and said it wasn’t on. We had to then pay for our own hair, make up, jewellery and shoes which ended up very expensive when you factored in having to get them a present and drinks etc etc.

I have six bridesmaids. I shall be paying for the dresses and hair. They have the option to pay for their make up if they want it done (they have all have chosen to pay for it) and I will ask them to sort their own shoes out. I have a mixed bag height/age/heel tolerance wise so I think this is the best option.

As long as you aren't demanding they buy specific shoes then its fairly normal to ask them to wear their own I think, you should buy them if you require a specific brand/type/style etc... though