Is it rude??

It's not rude but they can say no and you would then have to think what you'll do, traditionally they don't pay for them, I know that that had been changing. I think it depends on what your BMs think/ are like x

In the UK it's not the "done" thing, but in the US it's quite common.

I just told my maids that I had a limited budget, so if they wanted a nicer dress than what I could afford they would have to pay the difference. I was going for mismatched anyway.

Catalogues and high street shops do lots of budget friendly options at around £40-70 per dress ( places like marisota etc. Depending on what look yourself after)

if you're letting the bridesmaids pick their own dress, then they probably won't mind paying, but be prepared for a complete circus, as different people have very different ideas about things!

Honestly I think its tacky... you are honoring them and anything you 'require' them to have you need to pay for

a bridesmaid dress is just a dress and you can buy suitable dresses like ex-ASOS and ex-Quiz dresses from £5 online in the sale stores infact theres a sale on with dresses from £2 even with 6 bridesmaid (really you should only have what you can afford in your wedding... guests and wedding party included) thats only £12-£30

you can ask them to wear stuff they already own such as dresses and shoes however they are likely to not match

I don't think it is necessarily rude but I do think you need to have that conversation up front with all your bridesmaids. I also think it depends on the situation as to the response i.e if I was asking my bridesmaids to pay for their your dresses but then was spending thousands on entertainment I could understand why they would not be happy but if there is a limited budget and your bridesmaids understand that then I think that is different.

Just be mindful that if they are paying for their own dresses, they may expect more of a say in what they wear

I personally wouldn't ask them to pay, for reasons already articulated by other commenters, mainly because it was you that asked them to be part of your wedding.

Just wanted to add I picked up for 4 gorgeous bridesmaid dresses in the ASOS sale at £20 each! Such a find and just what I was looking for, I'd have happily paid full price for them (even full price I think they were only about £75). Just wanted to let you know you can find stunning dresses for very reasonable prices, as long as you're not set on wearing a particular named brand/designer.

If you did still want to ask them, instead of asking for them to paid for the whole dress, I would just explain that you're working to a tight budget and if they would like to contribute towards the cost of the dress that would be greatly appreciated, and then let them decide what that want to give you. Less awkward that outright asking them for money for a dress you've asked them to wear.

Good luck with it all!

People aways have very strong opinions on this subject but really you need to talk to your girls as see what they think. I don't think them paying for there dresses is a problem as long as they honestly don't mind, have a say and it's in there budget.

We were on a tight budget and had my 2 big sisters as bridesmaids and BF as MOH. I'm the baby in my family and as there 12 yrs older then me they act more like parents then sisters. I'm also the first to get married so they were super excited. Without evening talking about it they decided that they would pay for there own and even each pay half of MOHs if she had a problem with paying (she didnt). I said they could have say in choosing (within reason) and they refused saying it my day so I had to decide.

It was the same with hair and make up, i said that as long as they kept it simple i didnt mind what they did as i was just going to do my own, my sister's, mum and big brother insisted on paying for me, my sisters also had there hair done and made me have full control. My tomboy MOH was meant to do her own but in the end I did her hair while she ate the crumpets my mum kept trying to feed me.

I understand that I was very lucky but how my sister's saw it was that if they were guests they would of had to buy a dress anyway and they love me and just wanted to help as much as they could as normally I'm very independent and don't accept help very easily.

I don't think it is rude at all.

Originally I said I would pay for my bridesmaids, and at the time they said they didn't mind paying. I was shopping around for months trying to find a better price than the £200+ ones in the bridal shops, Asos and DP didn't have the right colour for me or styles they wanted etc. In the end the price of the wedding kept going up and money is ridiculously tight, I had to go back to them and ask if I could accept their offer of help and let them pay for them. They have said yes not a problem as they already offered. Me and another BM found a lovely one for £80 each from Nottingham which look exactly the same & feel of the £200+ ones and everyone likes it! They are even corseted so if people change body shape it will still fit!!

Shoes, hair and accessories etc will be the same - I will buy them jewellery as part of their presents, but shoes I've just asked for the same colour as the dresses are floor length, style is up to them then they can wear them again, 3 have similar short hair length so they are all going up and it's June so hopefully jackets won't be needed. I work with a MUA so I'm hoping for a good deal for us all, I've found a hairdresser for £180 for us all! That is £100 cheaper than my previous quote, nearly £200 cheaper than the original!!! I have shopped around a lot to save us all some money which I feel that I've helped them too then.

I think it depends on your bridal party. Yes originally in the UK we would pay for their dresses, but also the parents of the bride used to pay for the whole wedding. Processional order has also changed, women tend to work now not stay at home and cook and clean all day, some people have children before they are married, come on people times have changed. Go with what is right for you, I'm afraid you can't please everybody. I've been told in the past that you shouldn't ask bridesmaids if you can't afford them, but quite frankly that just sounds mean!

This is a hotly debated topic, there isn't a right and wrong answer. Go with your gut feeling and what feels right for you and your maids.

Well, I paid for my BM dress for my sisters wedding, and I paid for hers for my wedding.

She wanted a super specific colour which meant I got a custom order dress which was £170. However, I wear formal dresses a lot, and was able to get a style that I really liked. Aside from the colour I was allowed to pick the dress, the other BM agreed and was happy getting an expensive dress we'd use again. I paid for hers, and got an off the rack dress from ASOS, I picked a colour that is easy to get dresses in.

I was a bit annoyed that while me and the BM paid for our dresses, the flowergirls and groomsmen all got theirs paid for, and they then had loads of 'extra' entertainment items at the reception.

Oh and your BMs may not play ball, eg my sister also wanted us to have matching shrugs and jewelery (which we had to buy), I put my foot down and said no, I'd wear a shrug and jewelery I already owned which matched.

Personally I think that if you can't afford to dress all the BMs, it's better to have less BMs and pay for them. Otherwise, be as flexible as you can to accomodate their budget!!

You'll get wildly differing opinions on this one I think!

My feeling was that I would only ask as many BMs as I could afford to cater for, as I've always had the same when I've been BM for others - I could have asked a lot of people but we were on a budget, so stuck to three. I paid for their dresses, shoes, hair, make up & jewellery, & felt that was right as they'd also be forking out a lot of money for hen do, hotel overnight after the wedding etc.

I guess it also depends on your friends - only you know if they'll be happy to contribute etc - but one thing I would say is if you're asking people to buy a dress, they understandably may like to have some say in what style / colour it is so they can maybe get use out of it after the wedding.

I am paying for the dresses (six of them, eek, didn't think a pout budget when I asked them!) as I wanted a specific dress, and the girls have all gone along with it stress free. However I'm saying I don't mind what shoes or accessories they have, so asking them to provide those bits. If I was asking them pay I would have got them to choose their own dresses. However I'm paying for a dress for my best friend when I'm a bridesmaid in December, and she said "I know it's awkward but would you mind!" I didn't mind at all! We picked a dress that wasn't ridiculously expensive, and I said I would have ended up probably getting a new dress for her wedding if I was a guest anyway. Have an honest chat to your girls and see how they feel.

You're asking them to give up their precious free time to do this for you and they're probably going to end up out of pocket anyway so I think it's the right thing to pay for them. How are you even going to broach the subject with them?! It will be an incredibly difficult and awkward conversation to have. Personally I would be mortified asking them to pay for their own dresses after asking them to be part of MY day.

My bridesmaid offered and the chief bridesmaid paid for the flower girls dresses to help out.

I paid for mine when my friend got married too. I don't think people mind as long as it isn't too expensive - I've noticed people just want to help take any stress off you as much as they can.

It is not RUDE it's actually common in most countries like US & France. You know better what you could afford just tell your BMs to pay the differences or buy their dresses if they want to look nice on wedding.?

I think I'm have similar numbers as yours too!

But I'll be paying for their dress and makeup and hair with our tight budget and here's my reasons:
1. I'm from Hong Kong and so do all my BMs. They all will have to take at least a week off and sort their tickets to fly across the world to be my bridesmaids on the big day and also helping out bits and bobs on my HK part of reception. Being my BMs means a big sacrifice for them!
2. One of my bridesmaid is gifting my wedding dress and it's quite possibly to be made from scratch and to my liking. That is going to save me a lot~
3. The same bridesmaid owns a bridal shop which can possibly keep the price down for the dresses from her suppliers which are made in China anyway (TBH I think most of the dresses you can get from the UK are made in China even if it's a UK brand... When your iPhone is as well made in China, what else can't be?)
4. I don't really care what shoes or jewelry they wear with the dress. I'm going for floor length dresses so as long as they have a pair in their wardrobe which fits it's fine. They are all not the kind of girls going for extravagant pieces of jewelry so they won't go too far or looking too awkward.
5. But as some ordinary girls who usually do simple everyday makeup only or don't do make up, it's much hassle-free to get someone professional to do it. It's my day but I want my BMs all looking stunning too!
6. H2B wants to pay for hiring the suits for his team. It doesn't sound fair if it's not the same for the BMs...

For the flower girls, I do have 2 provisionally with one of them's mum in my H2B's grooms' team (she grew up with him and is one of his besties. He was frilled when I said it's fine to include a girl in the groom's team or a guy in the bride's), so if we're paying for the mum's dress it doesn't sound right not to pay for the daughter's. and if we're paying for one flower girl but not the other, esp this little one is H2B's first cousin once removed, it just doesn't make sense! But again I'll let them choose the dress within the colour scheme and leave the shoes and accessories for their mums to think about~

Just to let you know, I did end up paying for the dresses! I’ve just asked them to get there own shoes and sort their hair out.. as I don’t mind what they do with that.. my MOH is doing my hair and I’m doing her makeup in return lol..

I toyed with the idea of asking my BM's to get their own dresses, but then I saw a style that I really liked.. as others have said, if you're happy to let them pick their own dress, then I think it's fine, but if you have a fixed idea of what you want, then I think it's more polite to pay for them. As it was though, I managed to get the dresses really cheaply

The skirts are long, so I've said to them to wear shoes they already have, as one of the above posters has. That way, they can pick shoes that are comfortable for them. I plan on making some jewellery for them and giving it to them on the day as part of their BM gifts, and seeing if we can all attend a workshop to make flower crowns for them (but I'll be paying for this).

It’s a personal choice but I think if you have asked them to be a bridesmaid you should pay for their dress. They could perhaps buy their own shoes or bag? As a bridesmaid they will be spending extra money on things for your hen do and undoubtedly bits for the morning of the wedding. X