Is it rude not to invite long term partners/husbands?

From the sarky comment on the FAQ section of her wedding webiste about other halves/random pulls on the train to the wedding, there would be no point asking. I think I will have to see how OH's work rota pans out, and make a decision when I know if that weekend would be my only chance to spend non-work time with him. He's willing to take me if I want to go, but not willing to pay for them both to attend our wedding if he's not invited to theirs (everyone else will be offered a plus one, so long as they tell me their name in time for the seating plan not to have "X's Guest" on it!)

My initial instinct is "yes it is rude". But then again if due to numbers etc lots of my friends were being invited alone, without partners, I wouldn't be so bothered.

I would never dream of inviting anyone without their partner, I've even told single people to bring a friend. However, I do realise we've said no to children......makes me wonder why I think partners should be invited but kids not....ah well!

Because most kids wouldn't want to be there anyway ! Room full of grown ups where they have to behave ! Also a cost implication of a child attending when they won't be bothered or maybe not even remember. And the parents may even want a day off lol !

Im going to be in the minority here. I don't think it's rude, it could be numbers are restricted and the couple feel they have other friends that they are closer to who they wish to invite. We have invited our guests partners and have actually not even met one of my closest friends OH yet but felt he should share our day as they've been together for almost a year and I've see how happy he's made her. But that's our decision and we could easily have chosen not to invite him. I think you should still invite the couple to your wedding and not 'get your own back' as such.

I think its rude yes. I wouldn't go to a wedding without my h2b and vice versa. I have invited partners of my uni friends that live far away that I have never even met before to our full day and night as I just felt it was right, also will be a good chance to meet their men!! I would take the higher ground and send an invite for both anyway.

OH just pointed out that I have more friends than him coming to the wedding and more of mine have OH's. We had to reduce the number of his friends coming to our wedding to invite all of mine and stay within a sensible budget - so he'd be a bit annoyed to pay for both of them to come when he's not invited to theirs, and would rather invite more of his friends.

It's not as though they're having a tiny wedding either- country house, fireworks, entertainment on the lawns etc. I could understand it more if (a) there had been a polite note on in the invite explaining why they couldn't invite my OH in particular, rather than a sarky comment about random pulls on the train on the wedding website (I personally wouldn't class a fiance as a flatmate or a random pull!) or (b) they were clearly doing it on a budget with a small wedding. In fact I'd probably have been less offended if I'd not been invited either, with or without explanation. It's not as though they've never met - my OH and hers spent about 5 hours chatting at the last wedding we went to.

So now if I decide I want to ask both, I have to have a fairly awkward "discussion" with my OH - which puts me in a difficult position, having already had the discussion on numbers when we were venue hunting - our numbers were just over quite a few venues, which we might then have considered.