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Beginner September 2022 Lothian & Borders

Is it worth having bridesmaids?

Firstweddingbath1601, 15 January, 2022 at 20:28 Posted on Wedding Attire 0 4
Hi everyone,


I recently posted on here before about Bridesmaids and whether to have them, i’m really torn!
My sister had 3 bridesmaids and she ended up sacking one of them, it was the end of their friendship. I will definitely have my sister as my MOH and will get ready with my sister and Mum in the morning.
However, I have 6 very good friends that I could have as bridesmaids that I’ve been friends with since school/university. They are all such good friends and I love them all to pieces. However, I think having 6 bridesmaids will be stressful and I don’t really want to choose between them. My sister is very organised and has helped me plan every step of the way! I don’t really feel like I need bridesmaids and on the day my sister/Mum can help me if I need anything.
However, I’m worried it might look a bit silly as my fiancé is having 3 groomsmen. Although, I might have my fiancé’s brothers (he has two) girlfriends wearing pink (our wedding colour scheme) so they can join in family photos and will match my fiancé’s brothers (they are groomsmen). However, I want to honour my friends in some way.
I’m wondering what people’s thoughts are and how I can honour my friends? E.g. shall I ask them to wear a certain colour on the day for photos and buy them gifts for the day. Should I have them as bridesmaids? I’m very torn with it all and I feel like having 2 of them will upset the rest. I simply can’t pick. Also none of my friends are engaged nor have they been through the wedding process so I’m not sure they will understand how stressful it is! I wouldn’t want anything to jeopardise our relationship.

4 replies

Latest activity by Anonbride, 17 January, 2022 at 14:51
  • C
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    I think the fact you are saying you can't pick is the answer, and I would stick to just your sister, it won't look odd, my FH had a best man and an usher and I have a MOH, 2 abult BM and 4 small BMs. It is honestly your choice and there is no wrong number. If you really wanted to you could have all 6 of them. Or 2 as BM, 2 as witnesses and the other 2 do readings. Good luck making a decision
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  • Yorkshirelass
    Super July 2022 Surrey
    Yorkshirelass ·
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    These days there are no rules as Charlotte says, my fiancé is not having any groomsmen- this is actually more of an American thing anyway. He is not even having a best man or anything, we will just have him and my dad in similar suits. He has two brothers but they are not close so he said why should I have them in the wedding party and i agree! And I’ve got one adult BM, four small ones and a page boy so it will look uneven I suppose not that we are worried! Good luck whatever you decide.
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  • N
    Dedicated May 2022 Somerset
    Nathalie ·
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    I think you’re right that 6 BMs could be stressful, and you don’t want to choose between them. Good friends will understand if you only have your sister, and it won’t look strange, you don’t have to “match” your OH’s side of the bridal party (I’m having 3 male friends as my bridesmen and my partner is having 2 best men). You could have a hen or a night/weekend with those friends where you get to express to them how much they mean to you. I’m sure they already know that though and will understand that you couldn’t have them as BMs but that doesn’t mean you don’t hugely value their friendship. I’m not having female friends as BMs for that very reason - I couldn’t have them all and I couldn’t have chosen between them. I’m sure they’ll still enjoy getting involved if you want them to
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  • A
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    We're going uneven too! My FH is just having a Best Man, also said Groomsman are American and didn't want the stress of loads of them. Meanwhile I'm having 3 bridesmaids (one of which is male), plus another male friend and brother as ushers so I guess technically I have 5 on my 'side' and FH has 1 but if you go by genders it's 2 girls and 4 guys - with an extra guy if you count my best friend who's going to perform the ceremony! So all uneven and lopsided any way you slice it but both me and FH are happy with who we have around us (him just one on one to just feel simple and chill, and me bubble wrapped in a crowd of my most supportive people!). So what I'm saying is if you really can't choose and want all 6, have all 6! But equally if you'd prefer it just be your sister MOH then just have her! It doesn't matter how many people your FH is having and either way is totally fine Smiley smile

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