Is my friend trying to force me to invite his girlfriend to wedding?

It was reasonable of your friend to check his girlfriend wasn't invited in the first place - 4 years is a long time to be together, and in a society where many people don't get engaged or married to their partner by choice, it is becoming more unusual to exclude long term non-engaged/married partners. Totally your choice as to who to invite, but understandable he would double-check.

It sounds as if your friend is having to travel some distance to attend your wedding - if it involves a long car journey or a flight, then I think it's totally reasonable that he is combining it with a holiday with his girlfriend, and I don't think he is trying to guilt you at all. He has every right to holiday where, when and with whom he wants, and his holiday arrangements are nothing to do with you. And since he has stated that his girlfriend is not asking to attend the wedding, telling him that bringing her on the holiday is putting you in an 'uncomfortable position' is frankly more than a little rude!

I think you are completely overreacting to this. Accept that your friend is happy to come to your wedding on his own and is just wanting to make the most of a long journey by enjoying a holiday afterwards.

Why have you not invited his other half? We’re getting married abroad too and one of the things we’re accepting is having to invite partners. You want them to travel to another country and not expect them to tag a holiday on the back of it with their partners?

He’s most definitely not angling for an invite. He’s thinking about his holiday after the wedding!

Hello there.

I totally understand that you are anxious about your budget, and it is TOTALLY up to you on who you invite.

HOWEVER, take a minute to look at the bigger picture here. This lady is a long term partner, with or without some sort of ring on her finger, she is your friend's significant other. How might not inviting her impact on your future relationship with your friend, I'm thinking particularly if you spend a lot of time socialising with them?

You seem to be quite worried about this, which suggests to me that maybe you are second-guessing your original decision?

If (as would seem to be the case) your wedding is taking place abroad, and they will have made a considerable financial committment to be there, why not extend the invitation if you possibly can?

Hope this helps, but at the end of the day, it IS your decision.

Kind regards,

Ali

Don't think he's trying to guilt trip you at all. It makes sense that they would use the opportunity to have a holiday while he's already travelling there.

Totally up to you who you invite also though so don't feel pressured, especially when I don't think that's their intention, however it is still a while away and you've not sent the invites out yet. You might find some people are unable to make the wedding for whatever reason so maybe she could be on a kind of wait list? Could be a nice gesture to say ok we aren't inviting partners however if nearer the time someone drops out that you'll bear her in mind, as she'll be there anyway?

It's totally your call as you know better If the decision won't be a big deal for your friend then don't invite her but if you think it will effect your friendship so I would suggest invite her. And do better thing is to talk to your friend openly about it. Don't take burden on your self and remember it is the balance that you need to create.