is this normal - RSVP related

This is the bit i am dreading! waiting for the RSVP's!

I cant understand why people cant get the dam replys back on time, although having said that i am sure i have done it once of twice in the past!

I think it probably is normal! Did you give a phone number or email address that people can RSVP to aswel?

It is only 1 day past the RSVP date so i think if i were you i would give it a week and then start chasing people up?

What is the decline ratio like on wedding invites?

People can RSVP online so its not difficult. I'm quite angry about it actually - think its really rude and they actually don't deserve to be given an invitation in the first place.

I've been so disappointed by some of my so called 'friends' that aren't coming to my wedding as well - all in, this has been a real eye-opener.

I wont be waiting a week I'm afraid - they've had the invitations for at least 4-5 weeks and would think they could RSVP in that time.

I thought the decline rate was about 20% in total but now I'm not sure.

Im a stickler for manors so can;t understand why people don't return them straight away! But to not reply at all that is a bit rude...

Is it family that maybe assume you will know they're coming as they are family or family and friends, either way if an RSVP is requested then people should do so

x

you go girl! ha, your right of corse they have had ages!

I think i will be pretty dam offended if people decline unless they have a really bloody good excuse!

Who turns down a wedding anyway - free food, free booze, chance to wear a nice frock and catch up with friends and to a lessor extend family! I love a good wedding!

I totally agree with you Gillsy, it is totally rude they've had plenty of time to look at their calendar to see if they are free on that day or not, its not a NASA mission is it?

Im inclined to send my invites out on the earlier side now.............

To have an invite 4-5 weeks in advance of the RSVP deadline and to not reply at all is really rude in my opinion. Sure there's nothing wrong with the post or anything? 31 couples seems like a lot.

Either way it's just common courtesy to reply to an invite.

I'm afriad to say that people just don't know common ettiquette. And also, evening uests often don't understand that RSVP replies to them too. They think of it as a "party" rather than the formal occasion it is.

I'd definitely email them but you may need to be slightly careful as some people may not have received the invitation so you don't want to sound too harsh ?

"Just checking you got the invitation to our wedding reception as the RSVP date has passed and you have not responded."

Thanks for your support girls.

I've drafted a nice e-mail along the lines of - did you get our invitation?, I know the post can be funny but we haven't had a reply, we need to confirm the numbers with the hotel and it would help if you could let us know as soon as possible whether you can come and celebrate our big day with us.

Hopefully that will jag them all.

I sent our invites in the middle of January although when I chased, it seemed the post was to blame for a lot of the delay. Two people hadn't received their invites and about 6 have gone missing on their way back to me. One turned up looking very crumpled like it had been all round the world about 4 weeks after my friend had posted it. My rsvp date was 8 February and i'm still waiting for one or two. I find it really frustrating.

I haven't sent out my invitations yet but I work as an events organiser and a lot of my time is spent chasing people who haven't replied to event invitations. Often people think that if they mention they're coming in passing, this suffices as an acceptance. I think it's incredibly rude too and it wouldn't occur to me to not reply but unfortunately not everyone thinks the same way!

Gillsy that is so so so rude, you must be seething inside, I know I would be.

Are you going to phone round and see what's going on? I always send an RSVP, even if the invite has one included I usually buy my own as I think it's nice for the couple to keep.

I'm seriously dreading the whole RSVP part, hope you get it all sorted out. I'm 28 and feel like a fuddy duddy saying this, but, manners just aren't what they used to be ha ha!

Edited to add I see you are emailing them, good plan!!!

This was my number 1 worst thing!!!

Ive had to chase a few, others (like my mum & dad), I knew wouldnt reply as I knew for definite were coming, but my cousins havent replied, so they are no longer invited. Harsh but fair - if they turn up, they can eat at a fast food place down the road and I might let them come and party with us afterwards....if i can be bothered to notify them. (I know they have had the invites BTW)

Bridezilla has left the building...

Unfortunately yes it is normal!!!.

If you chase them, people will either say "oh, well you knew we were coming, so surely we didn't need to reply". The others will say "well we can't come, so we didn't think you'd need a reply!" They think numbers aren't critical!!! I hate to say it, but at most weddings you will have someone drop out on the day or the day before and you may also have some extras at the last minute too.

Max - I like your style!!!! lol

I e-mailed them all this evening - one has got back already to say her man is working night shift so wont be able to make it. She posted the reply yesterday. Now, I'm sorry but yesterday was the date the RSVPs were to be back - not when they've to be posted!!!

Honestly, I think some people look at the RSVP date and think its their target - to get the reply to us on that day....lol

Hey Gillsy,

Any more updates on this? Hope a few more people have got back in touch after your prompting. I really feel your pain, as we've had some ridiculous excuses for people not attending (including OH's sister). Our RSVP date hasn't quite arrived yet, but I'm looking forward to chasing the millions who haven't bothered responding (although I suspect that most just haven't bothered because they've assumed that I know they're coming)!

Let us know how you're getting on.

I'm finding this really annoying too and am going to send an email round on the date we need RSVPs back (20th March). We need to let the venue know numbers for food, and it's really important for us as it'll determine which room we use for the meal!!! Out of 45 invitations that went out 5 weeks ago, we've only had 10 RSVP cards back. I have a feeling that a lot of our friends are just thinking that a verbal 'yes' is enough. But i need it at least in an email so i can get the numbers exactly right!

Well I've had some replies back - maybe about a quarter of what was outstanding but the others have just ignored my text/email so far which is doubly rude!!!! lol

Not sure what to do it they don't reply again - phone then or just strike them off the list??

I'm all for calling people - it's much harder for them to ignore you that way. I can't get over how rude some people are. Good luck!

Hi Gillsy,

not been on here for ages but just seen this and we having the same prob! Ours was RSVP by 2nd march and not sure when to start chasing people up!

We have also had same thing with evening guests thinkin its not important to reply! so frustrating as only got 2 weeks before we need to confirm our numbers with venue,

think people just dont think bout the bigger picture sadly

Our RSVP date is this Friday and as of yesterday only 45% had come back. I'm hoping for a mad rush this week or Bridezilla will be unleashed. I will send one polite chaser email before sending another basically saying that we will be assuming they're not coming. The thing is that we've got people we couldn't invite due to number restrictions and if people aren't going to have the decency to respond, i'd rather invite someone who has!

Ladies, - mother of the groom to be here, and I am so loving the fact that when reading your replies I can see there are other young people out there who still hold to their standards of good manners.

But your worrying me lol I am getting ready to make the invitations with the bride to be and her mother and now think Maybe I should make acceptance cards ready with enveloppes for the guests just to tick, sign & post back do you think if I gave them the enveloppes with the address on all ready they would stick stamps on and return??

Over a year to go and in a panic already...ann you must excuse me I only have one son and I love his chosen one so much I cant wait for them to be married and maybe make me a grandma

Happy weddings all

Tricia

Hi Tricia, welcome to hitched. I sent out my invitations a month ago and put rsvp cards in them all as well as having a website so that people could rsvp online. We have invited 85 people to the day and 55 more to the evening...so far we have 26 confirmed guests and 5 declines!!

I dont think it makes any difference tbh, people just dont sseem to feel the need to respond. If it was me, I'd do it straight away so I didn't forget but I'm convinced we won't have heard from everyone by the rsvp date.