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H
Beginner May 2025 Dorset

Issues with guest list

Hope, 7 of November of 2023 at 05:41 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 7

First time posting here! Also super new to planning a wedding so please do go easy on me.

My fiancé and I have been sorting out a guest list, but for my side I’ve been stuck with one thing- the under 18’s. My fiancés family has no under 18’s in it (very small family), and for mine my 2 “full” siblings are adults, my 2 half-siblings will be teenagers, and three of my cousins will still be under 13, with another 2 being teenagers. The other cousins are adults.
I’m not particularly close to my half-siblings (or my father (who I talk to about once every couple of months but still obviously have to invite) for that matter, but I digress) and they tend to egg eachother on to either mess around or argue so I imagine it’ll just be stressful, but where the general rule is inviting “groups” of people, is it okay to just have a blanket no under-18’s rule regardless of other people in the “groups” being invited?
Thankyou in advance to anyone who can offer some help/ advice 😊

7 replies

Latest activity by Mark, 21 of November of 2023 at 22:38
  • S
    Savvy July 2024 West Midlands
    SL WaltonJones ·
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    Having a "no children" or "no under 18s" at a wedding is incredibly popular! I think just be prepared for some backlash or moaning from certain people but they'll get over it! It doesn't matter if one cousin attends and the other doesn't, your wedding your rules.
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    The reality is that you can invite/exclude anyone you like because it's your wedding. The reality is also that you will almost certainly get complaints about your guest list from someone at some point, regardless of who you do or don't invite.

    Inviting people in groups is likely to reduce the number of complaints you get, but since 'all adult siblings' and 'all adult cousins' ARE whole groups anyway, I think you are fine to exclude the under-18s. There is a possibility that those with younger children may not come if they are unwilling/unable to find childcare, but that is fine. Just as you not inviting their children doesn't mean you don't care about them, neither does them not coming mean they don't care about you.

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  • Lea
    Rockstar July 2023 Kent
    Lea ·
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    We had a smallish wedding of 50 guests so had a blanket no children invited to our wedding. People were fine with this.

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  • H
    Beginner May 2025 Dorset
    Hope ·
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    Thankyou for the input everyone Smiley smile it’s really helpful and it’s nice to know it’s a pretty popular thing to do, so it’s hopefully not going to be seen as a massive issue by anyone
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  • K
    Beginner July 2024 Florida
    Kuer ·
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    "The reality is that you can invite/exclude anyone you like because it's your wedding." I completely agree with this opinion of @RomanticGreenStationery27135. Please only invite the people you love to make your wedding the most meaningful and complete. Wish you happy!

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  • Alex
    Curious July 2024 Kent
    Alex ·
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    Umm going against the grain here but not inviting siblings, I think long term will damage your relationship with them (up to you if that matters but I would always advocate for trying to build those relationships especially as the older party). I say this as some not inviting children as a general rule but exceptions are being made for parents nursing very little ones and family travelling from abroad. If either of us had under 18 siblings they would be invited. As teens they will know they are excluded and the argument of no under 18's doesn't imho hold up for family that close.

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  • M
    Beginner June 2024 Leicestershire
    Mark ·
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    We are having a no kids wedding as well. We are looking at it as, we have given them almost a years notice to arrange childcare. So it's down to them to have an issue with it if they've not arranged something when the wedding comes around.

    It's your day!

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