Just when we thought the guest list issues were over....WWYD?

OOh that sounds tough - I think the fact that you've caved on the others might not help and could cause problems. What a pain though, your rents should have definately asked you first!

You poor thing.. thats soooo hard to cope with.. I really think you have been more that fair with what you have already agreed so you have every right to say no. I guess its just a hard decision! Good luck making it!!

How bloody rude! I think you have allowed them to dictate enough, to keep the peace. I would put my foot down now and say you don't particularly want (practically) strangers at your wedding, so as they are a new couple and hadn't been factored in to the original guest list, you can offer her an evening invitation only.

I'd probably disown my sister if she behaved like that! She's sounds like a right spoilt brat, sorry Claire.

I'd be inclined to take the moral high ground on this one. Get her in front of your parents. Make sure they all hear you say she's put you in a very difficult position but you will allow it, provided she (and not your folks) fund it. Also say that this is to be the last time she puts you in that position. It is your wedding, after all, not just adding in another chair for a meal out at a pub.

That way there can be no ambiguity. Gah, I really feel for you.

WSS

I would have put my foot down from the beginning, I think it's going to look really bad now if you don't let this one come when you've 'allowed' the rest unfortunately!!

I think that because your parents have already 'allowed' the others, you will have to let them come... but I agree with CB that you should really hammer home the point that she is having too much say over your guest list for your wedding and that she should pay for them not your parents.

I am really starting to realise how laid back my sister is!!

That's my point though, C. By making her pay for it, the pain is hers, not yours. Your folks shouldn't have to pay. You could always make that point to her 'M&D have already forked out £450 for three people you've coerced us into having present, it's not fair of them to have to pay for a fourth', that sort of thing.

Does she realise how much it costs per head?

It's up to you who you invite, and to what part - if any - of your celebrations.

It's not your mother's choice, neither is it "acceptable" for her to override it by paying for them to be there because you can't afford it.

Evening only, fair enough because if it's a buffet you can stretch it a bit for no extra cost as long as the venue capacity allows.

The £40 taxi is not your problem. Your guests choose for themselves whether they come or not, and how they may get there is up to them to deal with, at their expense.

We had a six month rule at the time of invites, if you haven't been together 6 months minimum then partners don't come to the wb but can come evening if they want, and if that means people drop the wb to come evening only with their partner that's up to them.

Good on ya!

Oh, whilst I said to take the moral high ground, make sure you childishly stick two fingers up or poke your tongue out when she turns away to leave. You'll feel better for it ?

Honestly, I'd say hell NO! That is so cheeky, and she is so very rude for asking, espcially if you don't know him.

AJ are you putting that as an option on invites, or will guests just discuss it directly with you?

I hate the thought of people I don't know being there. Claire, stand your ground and tell them the guest list is final and venue says no more alterations if you need an excuse.

You allowed the other changes as sister's partner's own child is a bit more direct than partner of said child!

I'd have told her to F**k off and stop taking the piss!

Do you want me to make laxative brownies for your sister and the others the day before? I know 5 people including myself who could take their places..

*checks diary*

*realises it already says 'Stand in bridesmaid for internet weirdie friend Claire'*

I don't believe in "plus ones" just for the sake of it. If people have a long term stable partner, chances are we have met them so they'd be invited; if it's a new partner then I don't see it's necessary to invite them because things may change before the wedding, particularly for the wedding breakfast.

So far nobody has complained that the invite was to them only - but then again, most people we've invited are in long term relationships (or married) or are the sort of people that are single for a reason. My b2b's sister is single but is coming with another single friend we invited separately to "keep each other company" - although it's hardly like they don't know anyone else there.

If people were coming to the wb alone and really wanted to bring someone then sure they can come to ceremony and evening but I'm with everyone else, no way are we paying out big money to feed and water people we don't know.

If you don't know if someone has a long term partner or not... then I'd say there's a pretty good chance that you don't really know them well enough to be concerned whether they are at your wedding or not.

<----- have dress, will travel.

I think thats the only thing you can do - it'll make you feel less crappy because you've done sthing but at the same time it should appease everyone.

Im glad I dont have a sister ! lol

Christ, aren't people annoying!!! I wouldn't have dreamt of doing that to my brother and his wife.

Tell them No and ask your parents to stop going behind your back.

Bloody cheek! I know exactly where I would tell her to go!

We had a similar issue earlier on, and told everyone it's not about the money it's about who we know and want at OUR wedding! x

I would be going to your mum and saying that she shouldn't be offering to do things without consulting you first as it's your day to choose who attends and when. As nice as it is of her to offer to foot the bill to save arguements, it could potentially end up being one anyway.

When my OH and i were organising our guest list, MIL2B was insistant that some of her friends be invited to the ceremony, and that instantly got my back up. I wish i'd had the nerve to say to her at the time "It's our wedding, not your's. they can come at night" She's now got 2 of her friends attending the ceremony (i'm ok with one of them, but i don't even know the other one)

My MIL keeps trying to add on a few extra relations that are not invited.... We combined after getting stuck with her brothers kids - who i would be shocked if H2b could tell me their names - I have been militant that this is a wedding with invites not tickets to see a show and a meal!