Kilts !!

Here's a suggestion. Why not keep them happy, let them wear what they want and have all of your pictures shot in black and white? Then nobody's colours will offend your palette.

Ah it's time for the monthly "can I tell people what to wear?" thread.

My two pence:

-No you can't if you care about your guests in the slightest.

-You won't give a monkeys on the day

-You can't force people to spend money unnecessarily on outfits they don't want.

-You also can't tell your mum/MIL what to wear.

-It is not acceptable to expect people to pay to go abroad for a wedding.

-Fancy dress weddings are just bizarre.

-If by the end of the day you're married, then goal accomplished. Doesn't matter in the slightest whether anyone turned up in a kilt/jeans/a banana costume.

Wow. Just wow.

Dont ask a question and then get annoye with people when they are honest!! That's the whole point of hitched. It's a very honest forum and it is full of good advice.

My opinion: (yes I am Scottish)

I don't love kilts but my H was always going to wear one. It is part of his heritage. I would never ever say no. All male members of our wedding (guests not the party) wore kilts and different colours and styles and it was lovely. My H had purple blue and green and my dress was blue. It was beautiful.

It is rude to dictate that someone cannot wear a kilt because you don't like them. IMO it is different from saying to wear black etc. this is stopping someone from wearing something that celebrates their heritage and obviously are comfortable wearing. It is rude and offensive.

On your wedding day the only thing that should matter is that you and your OH will be saying vows and you will be husband and wife. You WILL NOT care what people wear.

I would also expect if you do ban them you will cause unnecessary family arguments.

OP, I think you can suggest colour scheme/dress code for the wedding party, but not other guests/cousins. If your had guests from other nations, would you be telling them not to wear a sari, kemeez or other national dress?

If you hate kilts, what about tartan trousers???

IMO, kilts are infinitely better than tartan trousers!

Shhesh way to give your opinion!! Crazy, possibly a little harsh!! as it has been said on many posts about dictating what your guests wear, ( on that note my friend texted me the other day saying she is planning on wearing a champagne shift dress, shock horror I am still standing!!) its your wedding ultimately, you can do what you want, I would just resign yourself to a life time of crap christmas and birthday presents from his family members (possibly something tartan!)

1. I don't see how anyone has said anything crazy? We're just being honest. "Is it wrong of me to ban the horrible things?!" Yes, it is wrong. if you ask for people's opinions you'll get an honest answer, even if it's not the one you may have wanted.

2. I personally don't agree with destination weddings or expensive hens, unless it's clear from the start that you only want a very small wedding and that everyone who would be invited would be able to afford it. If you're just going with the opinion of "we're getting married abroad and if you can't afford it then tough", then no I don't think that's right.

3. Nothing wrong with fancy dress weddings if fancy dress is encouraged. I don't agree with making it mandatory.

4. Nothing wrong with encouraging people to wear particular colours. I don't agree with demanding that everyone MUST wear particular colours.

5. I couldn't care less what my mum wears, as long as she's happy and comfortable. If my MIL was coming I would say the same.

6. There's a difference between wanting "unity in your colour pallette" for the wedding party, and having an outright ban on kilts in the entire wedding.

7. Like someone else said, if you want to have a say in what the bridal party wear, you have to be willing to pay for it.

Bridezilla! totally!

ahaha, I didn't even choose the bridesmaids' dresses, and as far as I'm concerned my mother and MIL2B can wear whatever they like. I'm used to seeing the odd "can I dictate what my mum wears?" post on here, but the whole guest list?! WOW! ?

If what other people are wearing at your wedding will end up making you unhappy, perhaps you're not really thinking about what's important.. just saying, does it really matter in the end?

Wow - gonna gloss over some of the comments made and go back to the original point here.

I think it's a bit much to ban kilts altogether but, for the bridal party at least, could you not choose an inoffensive tartan (ie one that matches your colour scheme there are loads of new ones not connected to family names to choose from) and request / offer to pay for them to hire these instead? So that they will all be in the same tartan at least?

My H wore Flower of Scotland tartan I think, it was a blue/purple tartan. My brother and his sons wore something else, a muted greyish one. I think if I'd asked they'd have hired the same as H but all I honestly cared about was my family turning up to the wedding and being happy and comfortable. MIL turned up in a cardigan and trousers - not most people's idea of wedding outfit but she was happy and relaxed which was the main thing for me.

Sorry I haven't the time to read the whole thread (although enjoyed the bits I read!) however i was wondering if you are hiring/buying suits for the whole wedding party including FIL to be? If so, he might actually prefer to look like he's in the wedding and wear this, even if he loves his kilt, so just ask him? I don't feel you can ask him not to wear it and definetly can't ban them from everyone. You are marrying into a family with traditions etc and that kilt is part of it. As someone else said, it would be crazy to upset your family to be for 1 day. I think just leave the kilt problem and let what will be will be - on the day I am sure it's the last thing you'll worry about! There's enough things to think about when wedding planning, without worrying about others' outfits! Just have fun and loosen up a bit xx

If you're paying for suit hire then I think you get to choose. Like others have said, maybe to keep everyone happy you could pick a plain tartan for everyone in the wedding party? I don't think you can dictate what the rest of your guests wear though, or expect the wedding party to buy new suits/tartan if you're not paying

Hmmm I had the opposite problem. I like kilts but hate my in laws....

Ha! Did you ban them?

If only you cold hire in-laws like you can hire a kilt!

(for the record, my MiL is lovely)

As for the kilt issue, I think lots of different things together can look just as good as matchy-matchy, and the black and white photo idea sounds perfect

Well i do think your being a Bridezilla too. Kilts are a tradition and whether you like them or not you OH’s family traditions should be respected. On hitched people are open and honest which, I think, is better than people being all fluffy and saying, well if its what you want and oh I agree but really thinking not.

Oh and please please please do not get tartan trousers – they are awful! Sorry to those people that have them.

Okay, my two pence, for what it's worth reflects a lot of what has already been said. You can't tell people what to wear for a wedding, they wont feel as comfortable and it's just plain unreasonable. On the day, trust me, you will not give a sh!t what anyone else is wearing. My MIL wore an Ivory ball gown!! The last wedding I went to I was told I couldn't wear white - on my RSVP I implied that I would be wearing my wedding dress.

Your wedding isnt just about you and your hubby and your love, its also about sharing the special day with the people you love. Your OH may not want to wear a kilt, but if his Dad and other members of his family are Scottish and proud of their heritage you should embrace it because at the end of the day, they will be your family too.

For the record, I'm not keen on kilts but I think tradition Scottish dress can look very smart.

I agree with what everyone has said but it boils down to:

Are you really willing to potentially upset your new family over this?

I certainly wouldn't be.

[:'(] My dad wants to wear them after the 'helpful' guy in the shop suggested them. Maybe there's still time to ban them...