Looks like I'm not having much of a hen night :( - updated

Are you sure they arnt winding you up and maybe putting you off the scent? I would hope so as thats dreadful. Why dont your other BMs sort it for you?

Maybe they are just saying that so you its more of a suprise?

I'd maybe say how your feeling, cause its not nice feeling hurt etc

x

Maybe I should get you to organise it Vik given how much you've done for your wedding

I don't think so. I've been asked by a few people now what's happening, even unconnected people. My only other adult BM is in America (and hasn't yet got a green card to leave the country, which is a whole other story) so can't really organise it from there.

Suzie - I don't want to fall out with her, but I've just emailed her and said does she want me to take it on, if I don't hear back by the end of the day I just will. I dunno what with one thing and another it's not turning out to be a good week.

Hi

I had the same thing with my CBM - we were planning a weekend away for us girls then a night out for us my male friends and my mom etc but nothing got sorted in the end I appreciate my CBM had alot on selling a house spiltting with her OH but I emailed her saying I know youve got a ton on at the moment if its too much to be CBM etc please just let me know I wont be mad or upset (I would have but wanted to know) just need to know and since then she has been fantastic!! We didnt get our weekend away but we did have a great night still.

Hope you get something sorted!!

xx

Yeah i would if i was you. I'm sure it'll be all ok though in the end, no matter who organises it!

Let me know what her reply is, if she replies

x

Well I contacted a couple of my friends to ask whether they'd heard anything, and got this back:

xx and I have been discussing this too as we haven’t heard anything. xx texted CBM last Thursday to ask her what’s happening but no reply as yet. We were going to wait until the end of the week and let you know.

If you need us to organise anything we’d be happy to help! Let us know if you want to meet up one evening to discuss it.

So, I've texted CBM asking her to call me when she has a minute. I'm going to try calling her at lunchtime and if still nothing then I'm going to take over the running of it (with help from my lovely friend).

Did you not hear back from her yesterday? I wouldnt even bother....you dont really have long to go now till your actual wedding i would let the other girls organise something for you chick x

I would just organise something with your other friends now, instead of waiting for your CBM to reply. It's such a shame she didn't organise you anything but I'm sure you'll have a great time whatever you sort out xx

Thanks hun.

I was considering having a virtual one the other night with all you lot!

Awww, still not heard anything yet? i think maybe they are planning a surprise for you.

if not, get yourself "OOOP NORTH" & I will take you for a night out in Leeds, could do with a night out myself

Debbie

xx

Back in September I asked my 2 sisters if they wanted to organise a hen weekend for me, didn't mind if they didn't want to do it but was happy when they said they would (H2B & I are doing everything - I'm turning into a bit of a control freak). I said I wanted a weekend to somewhere relatively quiet in Southern Ireland (not loads of hen parties all out together). I tried not to pester them but asked a few times how they were getting on. Then in May I found out from my mum that my sisters din't want to organise it so I took over. I had this plan of about 10 of us in a cute cottage. In the end there were 5 of us that went for a weekend in Dublin. It was great fun, although there were soooooo many hen parties out & about. I wish that they'd have said earlier as if more people would have had more notice or knew to save a bit then they'd have come. To top it off neither of my sisters came (both have booked holidays since), & out of my 6 bridesmaids only 1 came (2 of whom are my sisters) & my mum only came cos she could hear how upset I was that hardly anyone was coming.

In the end it was great but if I were you I'd take the bull by the horns & organise your own, so glad I did else I wouldn't have had 1.

Hope it works out for you x

your other BMs should also be helping with the organising of it so its not all you CBMs fault! Both my BMs are sorting mine. I dunno what it is either but i know they are up to something! Cos a couple of ones have said that she has emailed them!

I only have one other one and she's in America. (The other three are children).

Anyway, I have another update. I got an email from her yesterday, saying that her phone had been on the blink and that had meant she couldn't get any email, but that everything was fine and she'd be sending an update round to everyone in the next few days.

So I replied, saying okay, but if she had too much on I was okay to pick it up and that my friend who I'd discussed had said she'd be happy to help so she shouldn't worry that it would be too much for me.

Then she sent back

I don't understand....you've been talking to xx?....do you want her to organise your hen night? It's your wedding so if you would feel more comfortable with someone else organising it, just let me know. I don't mean that in a stroppy way at all...the idea of a hen is for you to relax and have a good time, and if you don't trust me to organise it then you will just be tense and worried which defeats the point.
I can assure you that it is under control and all sorted out to your wishes but honestly if you aren't confident about it and would prefer me to hand over to someone else let me know.

I just don't know what to do now, I feel awful like I seem ungrateful - I just want it all sorted.

Take deep breaths and remember you've not done anything wrong!!

Go back to your CBM and explain that you were only speaking to xx about your hen night as it had been mentioned that no-one had heard anything for a while and people were wondering what the arrangements were as it was getting close to the date. Tell her that you were concerned about her as you appreciate she has lots on her plate at the moment and you didn't want her to feel under pressure to arrange the hen party all by herself.

I think it might be a good idea to get together with your CBM and have a chat over a bottle of wine (or two) and short everything out. Sometimes things are made worse when discussed over e-mail/text as people misunderstand the other persons tone etc

I'm sure everything will work out soon enough. Chin up!! xx

aw then leave it to her to sort out for you then!! Sounds like she is just keeping it a surprise! I didnt realise it was jus 1 adult BM!! That explains it! I have 2 BMs, MY sis (CBM) and my best friend. Ther workin away together and i know nothing!

Just email your BM back and tell her that you are more than happy with what she is doing! its just your all very excited and are wondering what the surprise is!! you could also pass on your friend who volunteered to help's email address and just say that she has said if there is anything she could do here for her to help in the meantime, that she said shes to contact her, just with you BM being soo far away, it would be difficult for her!

Thanks ladies there's some really good advice here. I think you're right - I'm seeing her on Sat anyway (at a friend's dinner thing) so hopefully things might be sorted by then. MrsMiller - that's exactly what I thought might be the right tone.

Just explain that you were concered about not hearing anything and you were chatting to your friend about it and thought if you under spressue that you didnt mind taking control. But if shes happy to carry on with it then thats fine and that is what you really want.

x