Maid of Honour Drama

Hi all, I need some advise on concerns ive have with my maid of honour. She has been my best friend for years and when we got engaged she was straight away saying she cant wait to be involved and planning the hen etc.


Bit of back ground is she was supposed to be getting married this year but her fiance called off the wedding, and she has been having some health issues at the start of the year.
When we got engaged I obviously wanted her as a Bridesmaid and maid of honour but I was conscious of what's been going on. So I met with her to go through if she would be up for being involved and gave her the green light to say yay or nah kind of thing. She was completely up for being involved and said she would love to be able to do the hen etc.
The last couple of months she been not able to get involved in certain things like for example going dress shopping, as she said she couldn't get involved in much as it was during the lead up to her planned wedding date. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and accepted she couldn't be involved at that time. She has since been very apologetic and said she is here to get involved in various aspects of the wedding and wants to make it up to me, her words.
Then I created a hen group chat and she was all for getting a group chat started and prepping the hen etc. So I got the main hen group started and left a message for all and then left, leaving them in the hands of the bridesmaids. And I created a bridesmaids group chat without me for them to communicate and plan etc.
Recently ive been asked if my maid of honour is ok as she has not been involved in these groups and its now been nearly 2 months since they were created. My sister who is also a bridesmaid had left it a couple of days from the group being created for the maid of honour to message in it with info and put up a poll for dates but when that wasnt happening she said she could start the ball rolling to suss out dates and availability. My sister and the other bridesmaids have been trying to discuss locations and options in their bridesmaids group chat and there's been little to no input from the maid of honour. They have even narrowed locations down to 4 and divided them amongst themselves to suss out and she didnt feedback anything so after about a month my sister and the other bridesmaids asked if they should go with one of the other options and the maid of honour said she would look into messages and get back to them that week. They are still waiting to hear back.
I had noticed the last few weeks my maid of honour has been very difficult to get her to reply to other queries in other chats we are in so I thought is this all getting too much or is she overwhelmed. I then found out from my sister theres been a date for my hen for about a month and I didnt even know it.
So I spoke to her last week and said how I am concerned as im hearing that theres been limited communication in these groups and ppl are asking me if she is ok. I said how I wasnt even informed of a date to put aside for me own hen so it felt like I was completely left out of the loop of something I should have known. She didnt see it that way and thought the plans for the hen including the date were all supposed to be a surprise for me. I was shocked by her way of thinking as we are getting married abroad and so I said I had initially thought to head to the venue around that time so I wouldn't have been available for me own hen.
I said how I am conscious that there is a lot involved and I dont want it to be too overwhelming. She took this all very defensively and didnt get what I was saying at all. She didnt see the need to communicate with the bridesmaids about what she is planning as she said she is planning in the background and will communicate once all the plans have been made. However ive said how that won't work when your planning it with other people and shes not told them what shes doing. She eventually admitted she may be getting overwhelmed as her boyfriend has also said she hasn't been getting back to him and so she said she would work on communicating with the groups.
I've since been having some family and friends contact me to enquire who they should reach out to as there hasn't been any messages from the maid of honour in the group chat and most didnt even know she was involved. I was surprised as after our initial chat I thought she would do the initial message in the group and start replying to the bridesmaids.
I reached out to a mutual friend to see if she was too overwhelmed or if the maid of honour has been involved in some plans etc. This friend was shocked at her lack of communication as she has seen her planning and enquiring about various bits to do with the hen. I let the maid of honour know that im still getting messages from people enquiring about the hen and even asked should the friend be involved in helping with messaging info and replying to people etc. However the maid of honour has said she doesn't need anyone else involved.
When I spoke to her about the need for her to identify shes involved in planning so they know who to go to. She doesn't get it and doesnt know why people would be reaching out to me and not her. I asked how people are supposed to know who she is when she hasn't even sent a message to identify shes the one to go to. She said she would send a message in the group and would let me know when its been done so I know to redirect any more queries there. Ive been told by others that she has done the message in the group chat but she still hasn't told me herself that its been done.
My concern is that this lack of ability to understand the need to communicate is really hindering any productive plans for the hen and shes not really been involved in any other wedding prep.
What do you advise to do going forward to get through to her? I really dont want to have to remove the hen plans from her but it just seems like shes not able to be involved and cant see how poor her communication has been.