Skip to main content
ARE YOU A BUSINESS?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

L
Beginner September 2022 Hertfordshire

Maid of Honour or not? Help! What Roles /titles can i give?

Lois, 5 February, 2022 at 12:09 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 4
Saved
Reply

MAIN QUESTION (if you don’t have time to scroll down read): roles/titles I can give to important friends, bridal party?

Hi so I would really appreciate any help from people outside of the situation and anyone who has had to make a similar difficult decision like this before
CONTEXT: So I have 7 bridesmaids all very close friends for different reason and for a long time- people I owe a lot to. One of which is my partners sister of who I’m very close to treats me like a sister etc.
DIFFICULT SITUATION: me and 2 other girls have been close as a trio since secondary school (planning to make both part of the bridal party of course). One of the girls (Girl A) - we were best friends long before the other girl (Girl B) and Girl A has been basically my best friend since I was born. We go way back on a family level, our nans were friends and her Nan used to treat me like a granddaughter/ loved me, our mum are close friends and A is the closest thing I have to a sister. For these reasons I have always wanted to make her my maid of honour. The dilemma I have is me, A & B are now a trio and always treat each other with most/ equal love and respect and if I make A the main bridesmaid I don’t want B to feel left out.
(A is getting married herself and has made us both her bridesmaids / maid of honours for this reason. We are the only bridesmaids she is having and never does one without the other- which is lovely.)
Because A is getting married (and will be before our wedding she will technically be a Matron of honour … meaning I could make B maid of honour, but to me as much as I love her it just doesn’t sit right with me as I would also equally love to make my partners sister maid of honour- she will be a close sister and friend for life. There’s also other bridesmaids within the party that mean equal amounts to me and they’d be thinking why her is her friendship more important etc which I don’t want. I get a wedding is not about any of this at all of course but where a wedding is important it cuts deep and is remembered for life and I don’t want it to unsettle any friendships.
My ideal situation would be to make Girl A Matron of honour as I always knew that…
But it’s got me debating do I just have no maid of honour at all or not to save no bad feelings amongst the bridal party
But would like to give Girl B something special so she’s not left out?
QUESTION: Would appreciate if anyone knows of any other roles or titles or special responsibilities I could give to someone in the bridal party?
Many thanks

4 replies

Latest activity by Anonbride, 9 February, 2022 at 18:40
  • C
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    You could have A as MOH and B as chief BM. You cold ask B and your SIL to do a reading? Is tough one for you as you have a large bridal party but I am sure the title isn't something they are worried about, just to be part of your day and support you is all they want. You could ask them to both work together to organise your Hen and on the day both support you getting ready
    • Reply
  • H
    Dedicated May 2022
    HappyGoldBridesmaid18836 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    Tricky situation when you don’t want to upset anyone. How would you feel about not having a MOH at all and everyone as bridesmaids? I’ve been to a couple of weddings where there have been 2 MOHs so it could work.
    • Reply
  • R
    Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    I would either pick your friend since childhood as MOH or just have everyone as bridesmaids. However close you are to your SIL, I'm sure she will accept someone you have known all your life being MOH.

    Or have A and B as MOHs and get your SIL to be your witness or do a reading.

    The problem with having too many titles is that you can't give ALL your BMs titles, and if you give titles to too many, the ones left over are going to start feeling 'second class'

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message

    I agree with this - I think one MOH or none is the kindest way to go. I know you have three strong contenders, but that'll leave the other bridesmaids feeling like 'the less good half' I fear. Bridesmaid is a great honour in itself, and I think people do understand that MOH is a solo role that is basically there to coordinate all the bridesmaids but it doesn't mean you love the others any less.

    My MOH is simply the best organiser of my bridesmaid group, and the others get that. I'm basically treating them all equally though and he's just the one coordinating the group chat and starting the discussions on hen dos etc. You can make someone your MOH so there's a central point of contact amongst the bridesmaids (for you, but also anyone else who might need them - your mum for example) without making them overly stand out as extra special so everyone feels equally important Smiley smile

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

The Best Hinge Prompts & Answers to Help You Stand Out
Planning Essentials The Best Hinge Prompts & Answers to Help You Stand Out Discover the best Hinge prompts and clever answers to help your dating profile...
Read more articles

General groups

Show more

Hitched article topics