Making a dick of yourself when drunk.

I don't drink really, especially not when out (as I'm a lightweight) but I had a drink (as in just one) the other night. Apparently I fell down the side of the bed, completely wedged in. I don't remember any of this and I could barely open my eyes on the bus to work. H found it hilarious though!

Was everyone quite drunk? We were at a wedding on Saturday and everyone seemed quite well behaved, I was really surprised! There was one drunk usher who gave me a whole sweetie bag of sherbet straws but there wasn't even any drunken dancing!

I can't think of anything to make you feel better though! Was it as bad as you think? What did the head of hr say to you today?

This isn't going to help at all so apologies in advance...

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Every time I get drunk I wake up the next day mortified about one thing or another.

I wake up with horrendous drunk-guilt even if I haven't done anything stupid.

I used to regularly have the 'shower of shame' on a Saturday or Sunday morning when I'd get horrible flashbacks of what I'd done the night before when drunk. Lowlights include:

Stumbling away from a bar and dropping a tray of drinks up the wall in a hotel corridor. I was on a work conference so it was in front of lot of colleagues. I think that I saved one drink on that tray.

Getting hammered at an end of project party, ending up on stage and calling one of my colleagues a cow over the microphone. I didn't even think it so I have no idea why I said it but in my defence, the party started at 4pm and we were greeted at the door with cocktails.

Throwing up down the outside of my boss's car after a work Christmas party. It was a brand new Audi TT and her boyfriend rang me up the next day to tell me that the paint was bubbling. Thankfully he was winding me up.

I threw up a whole cherry tomato on my pillow on NYE a few years ago. I am a right catch!!

Did I make you feel better?!

I'm not much of a drinker. In my university days alcopops were new on the market and given my notoriously sweet tooth, I made it my mission to sample every one. That led to many Sunday mornings vomiting up interestingly coloured and flavoured mixes. Then very soon after I graduated I started having surgery on my hip, and along with that almost two years on crutches and very strong painkillers. I continued to go out to pubs and clubs - I was at the Hacienda five days before it closed its doors for good, hobbling up on my crutches - but I was forced to stick with lemonade, and an occasional half of cider as a treat. My tolerance level sunk, and never recovered. Sad times.

I think the most embarrassing thing I've done is try to have sex with some guy on someone else's sofa. Oh also once I slept with someone whose name I hadn't quite caught over the loud music in a club. I only realised what it was when I heard his mum shout him from the hallway the next morning. And I took my top off at a Guns N' Roses concert after an afternoon of drinking (although kept my bra on). That's about it.

There are too many incidents to detail here unless you have all night! I am impressed you can do the splits, l don't think l ever could.

Hmm for a starter:

Broke my ankle while doing relays up and down a beach in Lanzarote. This was an hour or so after abusing a bar man telling him his Spanish was *** -he had lived on the island for years and l had a C at GCSE! (age 19)

Vomiting down my cleavage while sleeping in a chair at a party. I then went back to sleep and had to be woken by my friend to clean myself up (age 19)

Leapt on my then flatmate and snogged the face all night. I think l was very forceful and didn't give him much of a choice! (age 20)

Flashed my bra clad breasts in a nightclub (various age 21 / 22 / 23)

I have a paranoia (but l am not sure!) that l may have weed myself in a toilet queue at the Clapham Grand (27 ish)

Projectile vomited all over a toilet cubicle. I wasn't even that drunk and then proceeded to clean it all up (age 33)

Oh mini. I always get the fear after a night on the tiles. I used to be a terrible drunk. Way before H. In my early twenties I was a nightmare.

I was once horrendously sick in my best friends brand new saucepan, and in her neighbours flowerpot and in 3 glasses that had once held vodka.

I slept with a guy younger than my own son in a drunken haze.

I fell off a bar stool and had to be carried home via firemans lift.

I tried to take on the bouncer who was trying to tell me my skirt was caught in my knickers.

I laughed at my friend when she tripped down one step, then promptly fell from top to bottom landing with everything on show because I'd decided to go commando having been bet I wouldn't.

Feel better?

I am very much enjoying this thread...... I don't think I have ever really been too bad, mainly because I was the only one in my group of mates with a driving license so was always the designated driver.....however this did in turn lead to a low alcohol tolerance and a tendency to overcompensate when I did drink that let to one or two moments of shame (that I am dreading coming to light in front of my parents if old friends get reminiscing at the wedding)

Edited highlights include: climbing a tree in a miniskirt to retrieve the shoe my friend had thrown up there. only to discover when i fell out that a) I don't bounce, and b) they'd never thrown the shoe in he first place, they just told me I did to see if i would climb up after it

throwing a pint-glass of my own vomit at a moving police car (no idea how i didn't get arrested for that one)

my personal favourite drunken experience I'm actually quite proud of. my dad and 2 uncles took me out drinking on a holiday in Wales when I was 15 (responsible parenting!) i matched them pint for pint all night and ended up deciding to be 'choir-master', stood on table and proceeded to lead the whole pub singing 'bread of heaven' (with harmonies)........Got back to the holiday cottage and threw up everywhere! I was a legend in the village the next day. My mum was NOT happy. My dad was totally proud!

I've done some really stupid things after a few too many tequilas.

Once on holiday I ended up in some dingy pub and H was invited to play a game of poker with the locals. I was so bored watching them that I just sat nearby and got wasted. Eventually I was just too bored and wanted to leave so I walked over to the table and sat on the corner trying to be all flirty with my H, but the table toppled over and I ended up on the floor surrounded by poker chips.

Oh Mini that did make me chuckle.

A few weeks ago we bought a blow up penis out one of those vending machines in the pub toilets. The night consisted of us all ramming a blow up knob called Gregory in strangers faces and stealth bum action for gregory with strangers. Shameful isn't it?

Oh and at a butlins weekend we decided to climb on the cordoned off fair ground and try and push and spin the teacups round. Best bit was hedge hopping to get to them, dressed in in awful neon tutus. Again, pretty shameful : /

I threw up down the back of someones legs at Glastonbury last year, i was promtly dragged out the crowd by H2B while still bent over being sick!

Not one of my finest moments!

Having gone to bed only an hour before, I once slept walked from my bed back to my living room where the remnants of a party was slowly beginning to fizzle out (picture the scene, 3 or 4 fellas wide eyed zoning out to repetitive music) in only a thong. Sat down on the arm chair and asked everyone what was going on. I didn't even remember it at all until the next day when I was told and then started having flash backs of it. Apparently they'd had to guide me back down a spiral staircase to bed. The poor guys who had been there were all very blushy. It was approximately 12 years ago and I still feel the shame inside.

Not me but a friend, we was out the night before we went on holiday she was that hammered she stole a push bike outside the pub went for a ride. Well she didn't even do a whole peddle feel off broke her arm. Spent the whole night in A+ E.

Jeeez, how long have you got?

Stealing bottles of cider from the storeroom, then having the audacity to go to the bar and ask for a glass with ice

Attempting to call my manager about 16 times and finally leaving her a voicemail saying 'And F**K you and merry F**KING Christmas!' (no recollection at all)

Leading an entire train carriage in a rendition of Last Christmas

Running away from my friends at a dance music festival and launching myself into the middle of a huge brawl

Slapping a security guard on the backside

Various random conversations with people that I have no recollection of at all

Gyrating a lot

Calling my husband and screeching at him for no reason.

Being sick on the train. A Lot.

being taken home in an ambulance after passing out at the train station after one too many Jager bombs.

And long ago, snogging a bloke who worked in my building and being completely mortified when I found out that 1) he was 20 years older than me and 2) was engaged.

I seem to recall that I celebrated after sleeping with someone 14 years younger than me. I wasn't even that drunk, just slutty

Oh Mini, I ❤️ you.

I havent done anything bad recently. When I went for 'a drink' with Mini we ended up with a few bottles and I argued with the woman in McDonalds...

I flashed a policeman, not realising it was my best friends Dad.

Shouted out that a 12 yr old girl was cr@p at singing, not realising her folks were behind me. On that same night, I fell asleep with my head on the toilet seat. Not that bad in itself, but it was at my fiancés friends 30th birthday party, who I had just met for the first time. He had to send her in to find me. Also on that night, I puked next to another of his friends cars, which he stood in when he was leaving.

On the way home, I demanded that he stopped the car as I needed to be sick. I couldn't open the door, so pulled my corset forward, and was sick down it. My fiancé opened the door, and as soon as I got out, I whipped my corset off. He took his jumper off, as i was standing at the side of the road, topless. I continued being sick for the rest of the night, leaving him behind me, cleaning up as we went.

As you and others know, I regularly do this. Last time was at my bestie's birthday party a few weeks ago. I hate the next day "do they remember what I remember?" shame.

Got so drunk on Absinthe at a tent party that I kept calling a guy I'd only had about three dates with, got up the next morning and felt so sick I couldn't drive myself home so my friend had to drive my car while I preceded to throw up in the passenger seat.

Once had a skittles vodka drinking competition at a house party and spent from about 9pm to 11pm in the toilet being sick so no one could use it.

.

Hahahaha so funny!

I have a few:

First work party at the tender age of 17 - away for the night in a hotel up north, free bar = drunk me! I had about 5 glasses of wine with dinner alone, then a whole mix of other stuff! Needless to say I felt rough as a badger's arse on the way home and threw up in my manager's brand new VW beetle!

Drunk on holiday in Zante - fell up the stairs very publicly in a bar - someone pointed at me the next day and said "I remember you, you fell up the stairs in (insert bar name) last night!"

Out in town for a friend's superhero birthday night out - I was dressed as supergirl and passed out in the toilets! My friends claim they looked for me but quite frankly how anyone could miss someone my height sprawled out on the loo floor in a supergirl costume I'll never know!

I think that's the most embarrassing ones. We all do it Mini! ?

My standard drunken behaviour was to "run away" - i.e. an internal switch flicks, I'd think 'I've had enough to drink I need to go home' and then I'd just leave without telling anyone. Haven't done that really since having OH around.

I've also been known to weep hysterically and then curl up in corners. I once did that as well as pouring port all down the front of myself (whilst cream coloured top)

If I don't get really maudlin, I tend to be very chatty instead.

Oh and I once walked into a lamp-post!

I need more time to read all of these!!!

(me, drunk, on a toilet)

My OH and I were a bad influence on each other when we first got together. Once he threw up over me on the train home and a carriage full of late night 'revellers' all cracked up laughing at us. Another time we were emailed a photo, by a complete stranger, of us drinking wine on the underground - apparently we had accosted them and asked them to take our photo and send it to us - it was before Smartphones were ubiquitous. We had no memory of it until the email came through.

When I was younger on a girls holiday to Spain I threw up over myself sitting in the middle of a bar. When I went back the next day to apologise, the staff cheerfully said 'oh don't worry, someone p***ed themselves after you left!'

All a very long time ago, I hasten to add (HIB hat back on lol)

Ah reading these has reminded me that it's not *too* bad, I used to he a right handful when drunk and used to be out every weekend and was always wanting to drink more and more. My ex once described me as 'always being the drunkest girl in the room' and even when I see him now he always marvels that I haven't been sick in my shoes that day yet!

I don't go out out anymore so my drunken escapades are few and far between- I think that's why this relatively tame one feels so awful atm.

The boss isn't around today so I'm just keeping my head down and trying to avoid anyone I may have tried to seduce on Saturday night ?

At a works conference i ran around the bar kissing all the men, the took the party to my hotel room with a couple of guys and girl and modeled my pants! Luckily i fell asleep on yhe sofa before it got worse! Still cringe when i think of it!!

Hmmm, I've got lots but thankfully only in front of my friends and not work colleagues! I was stupid drunk at a work event once though (which isn't like me, I keep a lid on it!) and although I didn't do anything actually at the event, the next day in work threw up all over myself at my desk. Not one of my finer moments!

Some Otters witnessed me throwing up behind a bin once, just missing a woman and a child in a buggy....

? Her face was priceless!

You did see the flash of my face at the Leeds meet, yes? Nuff said ?

I'm a little like CymruAngel. I get to a certain stage and decide I've had enough and go home without telling anyone!!

Worst things I have done while drunk were at uni.

I stole a tree from the main reception of the university. It was about 6 foot tall and in a pot. I found a taxi that would take me and the tree back to the halls of residence. Unfortunately, getting out of the taxi, I dropped the tree on my foot, not only cracking the pot, but also breaking my foot quite badly! The next day, I gave the tree back, but it was too late, I was recorded in uni legend.

I also helped borrow a giant pair of cardboard pants from the student union. There was an amnesty to get them back, unfortunately, when we took them, we were all so drunk, none of us could remember what happened next, so we didn't know where the pants were!

These days, I rarely drink to excess, but when I do, I giggle and dance. The last time was my birthday not long after meeting H2B. I danced all night. Very badly in an attempt to be sexy. Think twerking. I woke up the next day mortified and texted him to say I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from him again, he found it hilarious.

x