making table plan started massive argument

I definitely wouldn't back down if I were you. I try to separate disagreements (in general as well not just wedding planning) into "does that really effect OH and does he actually care or just trying to make a point" and "Ok well this is effect him so he should be just as entitled to get his way"...I would say this falls into the first category. Also, remind him this means he will have to sit next to your Mum?!

I'd love to see my OH tell me he's not backing down with something lol, have to say i'd laugh in his face
Just explain to him not everything has to be traditional and you're not having any of it, tell him he can make a big decision about something else (pick something you already agree on obviously ) & that you don't want to be unhappy on the day sitting uncomfortable.

Has he been a sucker for tradition elsewhere in the wedding plans? If not, you just point out the incongruity of this demand. If so, perhaps it's just part of the man you love

We weren't really traditional. My parents sat on my side, Boy's sister and BIL on his (his parents were sadly unable to attend). I attended a wedding last weekend with the bride's parents at her side.

Is your Mum doing any official speaking? If so, you could argue that you'd like to be next to her during that. It was nice to be next to my Dad when he was speaking, to be able to reach out for his hand, or pretend to swat him, and so on.

I agree with FTLOMB. We weren't traditional, Parents separated etc. Mum would not have enjoyed her food being sat next to my Dad ?

'Heated discussions' started ages ago for us. OH's mum suggested that his brothers (who is also BM)'s girlfriend should sit on the top table with us. I put my foot down and said no and suggested we sat all bridesmaids OH's on the top table too if that was the case. The other day more suggestions of having family tables started, which I didn't want, I want to mix it up. I think you do what you want and what will make you happy.

He keeps saying it not cause tradition he said its cause he wants boy/girl and mixes parents also the bedt man has to always go on right , im really annoyed right now?

Tbh I would only care that my new husband is next to me.

does it really matter? Have you been calling all the shots and now hes putting his foot down? Do you not like your new father in law 2 b?

Sorry to be blunt, just trying to show a different point to it all.

maybe leave it till you have both had time to think and discuss it tomorrow when ur both calm x

I agree with Mrs Petal. Have you been in charge of all the decision making up until now? If that's the case, then I think that it would be nice to incorporate some of his ideas into the day. And as others have said, it's only for a short while. For many, having the traditional set-up can be far less politically-charged. I know everyone on here always says 'your day, your way', but the 'your' is meant to represent you AND him, not just what you want.

Thank u for all replies i think its more than who i want next to me on top table, i have hd to do most if not all planning as he hasnt been bothered, he hasnt seen any of planning to be important , i had ro sort it all out , including his suits he came with me i just arranged place and appointent, and his day with dad and my dad, favours everything and ive got v stressed bout it, ive tried to ask him to.do things but he hasnt , and pressure has been on me, and.its very fuatrating now its important part suddanly hes taking charge. we hve been together 9 yrs and never fallen out this bad 2 weeks before wedding i am also in final stages of a teaching degree so under lot of pressure anyways , i hooe u guys dont mind rant but i need to get it out

Can i just say we r both v disorganised people so we.knew planning wedding was going to.be stressful , his way of.dealing.l.with it is to bury head in sand and i just get really stressed then try and get on with it.