married abroad alone

We did this, check out my report link in my sig. We were a little concerned about telling OH's parents for the same reason, but in the end everyone was happy for us. We put together a little video of the ceremony and showed it with photos when we got back. All along I thought my Dad didn't have a problem with our plans. Anyway, we got back, showed him the video thing and he loved it. We had a low key party/reception and he stood up there and said "when they said they were marrying alone, in Africa, I had my doubts but didn't say anything. Now I've seen the video and photos, I realise its the best thing they could have done".

Just tell them that's what you're doing, and if they want to organise a little party for you when you get home, let them carry on!

Hi Vickly

You will only know their reaction once you tell them, they might surprise you!

Why don't you throw the idea as a possibility instead of just saying that is final?

That might make them more comfortable you took their feelings into consideration and still feel happy for you!

Good luck!

Thanks for your replies i think my mum will understand but its my dad, i keep thinking he'll walk off or something and never speak to me again i know it sounds dramatic but i cant stop thinking it. I think its because i dont want it to look like we are going abroad because we dont want our family there, we just want to be on our own.

I think you have every right to decide. And your dad has every right to be gutted. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, or that he should be rude to you.

How about you have a nice meal somewhere unusual with the 4 parents, and maybe show them some pics, ask the dads to make a toast and turn it in to a little 'event' afterwards?

Maybe try explaining to your parents that having their blessing would really mean such a lot to you, so they know it would hurt you if they didn't support you. Your marriage, your day, your life.

I don't think he'd be rude. It's the dissapointment on his face it will haunt me. Another thing is my mum has had depression for years so I will feel bad if it upsets her too, I can't win in my head! To top it off I would have to ask them to look after my dog while we're away, although they love her like a grandchild, I'm worried if they don't approve of our decision i'll have no one to look after her either. I worry a lot as you cbn tell!!

I don't think you need to worry about the dog. They love you and they love the dog. I honestly think it will be better than you think!

Hi there

I know more or less how you feel. I have a few wedding questions to ask mum and dad but I can't bring myself to do it. I keep antecipating their faces and reactions and am avoiding it like the plague.

In my case they are not things I need to ask right now, so I am putting off to see if I can get away with no asking at all.

But in your case you HAVE to ask and see what they say. What if you say that when looking for wedding options, you saw that couples now can go to Africa and get married just by themselves and you thought that was romantic, and see what their reaction to it is?

Then depending on what they say, you'd know the next steps you could take, feel the waters a bit.

Does it make sense?

Yes it does, I need to tell them because i'm getting really worked up about it. I will have to try at the weekend. I'll have to rehearse it in my head first. Thanks everyone for the advice.

Ok hon, good luck, let us know how it goes!

My parents had to look after our cat when we jetted off. Not a drama. And honestly, nearly 6 months down the line, I look back on the wedding with amazing happiness and I have never had even the tiniest regret.

Of course you have every right to choose your own wedding.

But I know I would have been very sad if I not been invited to my daughters weddings. I guess that is inevitable and only you can decide what means the most to you.

Sure AC, you would have been sad, but I take it you would not openly have expressed this to the couple? Especially if they sat down with you and explained exactly WHY they wanted to do it that way? I explained to my parents that we wanted it all to be very private, a personal contract between us and God, and none of the trimmings and excesses of many weddings. Our vows were the only real thing we wanted to concentrate on, not whether great aunt Mabel would eat the lamb, whether the flowers matched the tablecloths, etc etc.

Only after the event did I get to know that Dad was initially upset he wouldn't be there, but being the gent he is, he never let on. And as above, by the time we were back and showed him the video and pictures, he realised it was absolutely the right decision for us. Had he expressed his disappointment in advance, we may not have gone away, and wouldn't have had the wedding we wanted and the wedding that in hindsight, Dad is glad we had.

BBB, of course my head would understand reasons, but I think my heart would still be broken.