Married name options

I'm taking my OH's name, we want to start a family and I want the same name as my children. I've known couples to both double barrel their name but ours would be waaaaaaaay too long lol! I've also known grooms to take the brides name but my OH is the only one left to carry on the family name whereas I have two brothers and about a dozen male cousins so I think it's fair to his family that I take on their name. Plus I'm a massive traditionalist in this matter at least. I may still keep my maiden name professionally though so I'll have the best of both!

It's certainly a lot harder of a decision now than it was a few years back!

I wrestled with this question too! And I've decided to take OH's name, but keep my maiden name professionally and as a middle name as well. It means I'll have two middle names, but I'm fine with that!

KJHC, this is an option I have now thinking about - taking H2B name as surname but having my maiden name as my middle name. Do you know if this would be complicated to do?

I think you just need to change it by deed poll - not too complicated according to what I've heard from friends who have done the same thing! So my name will be [First name] [original middle name] [maiden name as additional middle name] [OH last name as new surname]. I'll keep my current name at work but will be Mrs new surname everywhere else

Hi

there's only 1 male cousin on paternal side to carry name on, so I was very tempted to keep mine. But my son has other halfs surname and mine as a middle one. It's been a tricky decision tbh, I love my name and can't imagine being called anything else. Also thought about having double barreled but it doesn't really go. So my currwnr surname will be middle one same as my son, and take fella's as my own.

He is an only child also so he is quite keen on carrying on the family name. But I will be quite sad to leave mine behind.

I wanted a double barrelled surname but OH wouldn't have it. So, I am taking his name and then keeping my maiden name for work.

I took my OHs name. Our kids have it, I was happy too. I'm still my maiden name at work because I'm too lazy to change it ?

I've kept my maiden name as an additional middle name. This is a recognised thing and no deed poll was required although it's less common and I've had a few weird looks.

I'm taking his name.

My reasons are a bit complicated, so bear with me!

My Surname is not actually the Surname of either of my parents. Neither wanted to take the other's name, so they made up a new name.

However, they're now divorced and I feel no real connection to my name. It's also difficult for people to spell. I mean, it's only 6 letters long, but people still get it wrong even when I spell it out!

So, his name it is! I want our kids to have the same name as their parents, so it's a bit of a no brainer really.

I'm double barrelling. My surname is pretty rare and I only have a sister, so wanted to keep my name. A lot of people refer to me by my surname or some play on it too, so it's more than just my surname to me. OH was going to just keep his name but I think he is thinking about doing the same as me now.

If it wasn't for my connection to my surname, I wouldn't have any problems with taking my husband's name - I don't see it as a feminist issue or anything like that if it's a choice I'm making myself.

My H took my surname. He kept his old surname as a middle name. He took out a deed poll as some organisations won't accept a marriage certificate when it's a man changing, but that's free to do. i recommend it as an option, we're both very happy with it.

ETA, just for info: my surname is not my parents' name so there was no debate about losing/keeping a connection to them, and we won't be having children so there was no discussion about 'carrying on' names to be had.

I'm probably going to take OHs last name but I am still considering my options. Basically we both have common, 6 letter 2 syllable surnames. I don't have strong feelings of like or dislike for either name really (other than I'm obviously quite used to mine!). My OH is not willing to change his name, his half brother has a different last name, he has no brothers on dad's side, male cousins are related via aunts so different surnames so he sees it as he wants to continue the family name. Personally I think it's a common last name I know other unrelated people with it but whatever it's his choice.

I want us to have the same surname as I prefer the idea of when he have kids of having a family name.

We could double barrel but I don't think it really suits the names (it often sounds better when one of the names is one syllable for some reason I think)

So just take his name right? It's just I see myself as quite modern and I don't want to take his name just because the woman takes the mans name and it's the done thing. We are an equal partnership. We are lucky to have the choice not to nowadays and it feels a pity to waste the chance given... I know the point is its a choice but nobody realises you thought about it if you choose to go with tradition. I feel like if I keep my name it'll be for the wrong reasons so I am strongly leaning towards changing. I might keep my last name at work, a colleague of mine does this and it'll make it easier to not have to change email addresses at work

I'm changing, mostly because double-barrelled would be a very long surname. Also, my initials haven't actually changed. And OH doesn't want me to not change... so I've already got my passport in my new single surname name!

I kept mine but we will (when we get round to it) take each others' as additional surnames I.e. we will be firstname mysurname hissurname. We didn't want to double barrell as some say it's pretentious (I'm not judging though!) It was never an option me taking his, we both see this practice as outdated. Again, not judging those who do, as long as it's a choice and not because male and female misogynists are pressuring you to do so.

I'm taking his name generally but keeping mine for work. I'm in the legal profession and do criminal work so my fiancé is quite pleased that there will be a bit of a line between my work and home lives. However, I should say he told me to do whatever I wanted with my name, because it's my name and as long as we're married, he doesn't mind what I do.

If my OH tried to tell me what to do i don't think I'd be marrying him! He's quite modern too just he wants to keep his name for his reasons. He's not so bothered about family having same name as me and encourages me to do whatever I want.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what makes a hyphen pretentious? Unless I'm missing something, I'm struggling to see what's so different between Sarah Smith Jones and Sarah Smith-Jones. It's still said the same way. Not taking offence (we haven't even decided which way we're doing it yet!) just genuinely curious.

Laurafish, I genuinely have no idea. I remember someone saying something about the hyphen being a bit nouveau riche but that person, although a friend of mine, tends to talk crap. I've had a few people saying double barrelling is pretentious, I don't personally think it is. Everyone I've told 'we're having two surnames' have been more accepting of that so I think that's what we'll go for and we're both happy with that option.

Thanks for all the replies - it is so interesting to see the variety of options that are out there .

I have decided to take OH surname but to add my maiden name as an extra middle name so that I can still retain that sentimental value.

I have been wondering the same thing so this thread is really helpful thank you! I am the only one now that can carry on my surname. Losing it is never an option so been thinking about the different ways I can carry it on. I had never thought about having it as a middle name, I was going to double barrel it but always thought it makes it really long and I do want to be known by my married name.

I've had a few people say to me that hyphenating makes it 'posh' but to be honest I don't care, I don't think it does at all.

I've been married before so will definitely be taking my OHs name when we marry. I didn't feel a strong connection to my maiden name and have a brother who has carried the name forward and also 2 male cousins so no need for me to be concerned about that.

made me laugh a few months after leaving my ex, he asked for his name back!!!

I'm taking my OH's name. Since having a baby last year it's become even more important for me; I want the same surname as my daughter.